Important trivia about understanding men or things I would tell any woman

Important trivia about understanding men or things I would tell any woman

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Men who have tattoos think they have a piece of artwork on them. Yeah, like a flaming skull is art?
4. Men are very confident people. so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from the living room, and if they’re really in trouble, the wife have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes us feel important.
6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
9. All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.
10 Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, we will take it personally.
11 Men have an easier time buying bathing suits, Women have two types: depressing and more depressing Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
12 Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter ladies, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
13 Women take clothing much more seriously than men I’ve never seen a man walk into a party and say “Oh no, I’m so embarrassed; I’ve got to get out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo.”
14 Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
15 If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
16 If you’re dating a man who you think might be “Mr Right,” if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
17 No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
18 When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
19 When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
20 Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
21 Most women are introspective: “Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?” Most men are outrospective: “Did my team win? Dude wheres my car?”
22 If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t forget.. He didn’t lose your number.. He didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you.
23 Men hate to lose. I once beat my lady at tennis I asked her, “Are we going to have fun again?” Sh said, “Maybe.. next year.”
24 Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem “Get out” and “I never want to see you again” might sound like a challenge If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, “I love you.. I want to marry you.. I want to have your children.” Sometimes we leave skid marks.
25 Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super- heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
26 Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – you get to flirt with young girls and drive motorcycles.
27 Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replays in sports They’ve already forgotten what happened.
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Men who have tattoos think they have a piece of artwork on them. Yeah, like a flaming skull is art?
4. Men are very confident people. so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from the living room, and if they’re really in trouble, the wife have to get off the phone in case they call him.
5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes us feel important.
6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
9. All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.
10 Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, we will take it personally.
11 Men have an easier time buying bathing suits, Women have two types: depressing and more depressing Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
12 Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter ladies, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
13 Women take clothing much more seriously than men I’ve never seen a man walk into a party and say “Oh no, I’m so embarrassed; I’ve got to get out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo.”
14 Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
15 If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
16 If you’re dating a man who you think might be “Mr Right,” if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
17 No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
18 When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
19 When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
20 Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
21 Most women are introspective: “Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?” Most men are outrospective: “Did my team win? Dude wheres my car?”
22 If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t forget.. He didn’t lose your number.. He didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you.
23 Men hate to lose. I once beat my lady at tennis I asked her, “Are we going to have fun again?” Sh said, “Maybe.. next year.”
24 Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem “Get out” and “I never want to see you again” might sound like a challenge If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, “I love you.. I want to marry you.. I want to have your children.” Sometimes we leave skid marks.
25 Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super- heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
26 Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – you get to flirt with young girls and drive motorcycles.
27 Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replays in sports They’ve already forgotten what happened.

When you are in love and you want to stay; a Woman’s dictionary is essential knowledge for men!

Lesson 1 – The Basics

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five minutes: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been
given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that
begin with ”Nothing” usually end in “Fine”.
Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.
Loud sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means
she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing.”
That’s OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she
wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.
Whatever: It’s a woman’s way of saying: “*!#@ YOU”

Lesson 2 – The Tricky Ones

Pay close attention: there will be a quiz later.
We need to talk: I need to complain
You’re … so manly: You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You’re certainly attentive tonight: Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting!: I’m on my period.
I heard a noise: I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?: I’m going to ask for something expensive. Can occasionally mean the same as ‘How much do you love me?’
How much do you love me?: I wrecked the car on the parking lot.
I’ll be ready in a minute.: Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Do you like this recipe?: It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.
Was that the baby?: Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling!:Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

Lesson 3 – Philosophy

I need wedding shoes: the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Be romantic, turn out the lights: I have flabby thighs.
Are you listening to me!?: Too late, you’re dead.
You have to learn to communicate: Just agree with me, or else….
This kitchen is so inconvenient: I want a new house.
I want new curtains: and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper….., and what about a new house?
Is my butt fat?: Tell me I’m beautiful.

Lesson 4 – Advanced classes

Yes: No
No: No
Maybe: No
I’m sorry.: You’ll be sorry.
You want: You want
We need: I want
It’s your decision: The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want: You’ll pay for this later.
Sure… go ahead: I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset: Of course I’m upset, you moron!
Hang the picture there: NO, I mean hang it there! Or there. Or there perhaps?
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish: It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe
department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and
did you bring your checkbook?

Extra class – The answer to “What’s wrong?”

The same old thing: Nothing
Nothing: Everything
Everything: My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really: It’s just that you’re such an asshole
I don’t want to talk about it: Go away, I’m still building up steam.

Have you ever really loved a woman because if you have, You have found heaven !!!!!

I feel strongly about the classic male stereotype, particularly the negative ones. Having just seen Revolutionary Road I started thinking about Frank Wheeler, thinking about the hopeless emptiness of this sad man.

Frank Wheeler is the male stereotype that so many women meet and marry. Frank Wheeler is the man that so many women fear they will end up with. Frank Wheeler is so typical of so many men.

He is overwhelmed with fear but doesn’t see it like that. He fears that underneath there is truly nothing there (I know that because for years that was me, I was scared I would be found out, scared that the truth would come out).

He covers up that fear with concern for the children, promotion at work and a sense of responsibility for his wife. He pretends he wants to strike out for freedom, to go and find his passion, but he ends up like his mates and his colleagues. He settles for the ‘sensible’ option, a life of hard work and responsibility, such a male stereotype. He avoids the emotion but loses out on life.

Frank Wheeler is also scared of his wife, as so many men are. Not only does he not understand her, he doesn’t try to. He is afraid of her wildness and her unpredictability, he sees her as a stereotype of a nagging wife. Why can’t she be more like him, why doesn’t she make sense? Of course, she’s a woman and, like so many men, he doesn’t understand them let alone the female stereotype.

He gets caught up in her passion when they are young, but expects her to settle down when they get older, get a house and have children and that that is enough as it is for him. As the song says, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” In the end he just sees her as mad, needing a psychiatrist, and her death at the end just proves it to him.

Men, wake up and see your women for what they really are, passionate, wild, compelling, exotic, unpredictable, chaotic, loving and so in need of some strength and presence from their man.

You need to be a rock for her, strong and confident in yourself. You need to know yourself and you need to have conquered your fears. She needs to whirl around you and know you will still be there. She needs to have crazy ideas and know you won’t run away in fear. She doesn’t want you to control her or tell her what to do, but she wants you to understand her, even when she doesn’t understand herself. She wants you to know!

1. Start by loving yourself

This is not being selfish. If you are unable to love yourself you are unable to love someone else.

This is something men, particularly, have trouble with. They might respect themselves, think they’re absolutely amazing, but loving themselves, that’s a bit sissy.

No it’s not, it’s the basis of life and the basis of a balanced personality. Anyone has had a troubled relationship should look, first of all, to themselves, this is often where the trouble lies.

2. Tell her you love her

This means saying the words so she completely understands and is in no doubt about it. You love her. She needs you to say this all the time and she needs you to volunteer it, not say it in reply to her questioning.

The worst thing a man can say is, “You know I do.” She doesn’t, that’s why she’s asking… Duh…

3. Just love her for herself

Our women all have qualities we love in them, perhaps they’re smart, or sexy, or inspirational, or funny, or even rich. This is not why you love her, you love her just because of her, nothing else.

Your love is not conditional, it is not based on any special qualities. You love her.

Even though you celebrate everything that she is, even though you worship her for what she does in the world, she needs to know that you simply love her, no matter what. This is so crucial.

4. Live

Whilst a man in love is an emotional being he must not stop being the man he is. Your love should come from the power inside yourself, from your very soul. The love must be part of your power as a man and it must be part of how you live.

You must remain just who you are, you must be the man she met and fell in love with.

She finds excitement in your masculine strength, particularly when it laced with love. Don’t ever let her down.

5. Don’t live in the past

Life does not always treat us well and we certainly don’t always treat life well. Things go wrong and we mess up all the time. Strife in our loving relationship is something to let go of once it’s over, it’s something to let slip into the past.

We must learn the lessons and move on ensuring that we don’t go there again. But we must never dwell on the past and use it to either beat ourselves up or to judge our partner.

Move on and live, always, in the present.

6. Get to know her

How often do you hear men say, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” What they really mean is, “I don’t understand my wife.” This is basic in learning how to love a woman.

Love can only grow and deepen through understanding. You can never get to the point where you think you know everything about her, no woman is that simple. She is a complex person that even she doesn’t understand.

You need to love her and get to know her with patience and determination.

7. Count your blessings

That means the blessings you have together, the things you have achieved together , all that you are as a couple.

This should be a regular part of your life together. While I said, above, don’t live in the past, it’s ok to recount the great things in the past. This must be tempered with looking at the amazing things you are going to do in the future.

As a rule of thumb it is advisable to expect a future way beyond one that you can imagine. Expectations can lead to frustration if they limit you, expecting them to go way beyond is a good step into the future.

8. Give love, always

Love is about giving rather than receiving. Love is a creative force that grows out of the desire to give more than you receive.

Yes, it is crucial that you are able to receive the love that is offered to you otherwise it quickly dies, but you have to focus on the contribution you make to her.

‘Give and you shall receive’, but give without expecting anything in return.

9. Pay attention to her

Women need attention all the time. It is absolutely vital for all men, wanting to know how to love a woman, to understand this. Many of the annoying habits that women have are merely attempts to get the attention of a man who is not paying her any attention. Take heed of them and pay attention.

Men are focused and directed and can easily lose themselves in what they are doing. This is one of the qualities that many women love in their men, but not to the exclusion of them.

Men need to find a balance that shows how important their woman is to them without losing their passion for their mission.

10. Start afresh each day

“Start again as if it was the first day of the relationship. Welcome her into your world and look forward to your day together. Give her your love and tell her you love her. Do it again in a different way and repeat. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you where to go from here.”

This refreshing of your love will keep it alive and bring you closer to each other. Through this your love will deepen and become an essential part of everyday you spend together.

So what is love… really?

It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can’t truly explain but you can’t get rid of. It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul. Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life. Love is worship of the other person, the woman who is divine for you. Love with the right woman is the power house behind our lives, it is the very reason to live. To bad so many of us realize it when its time to get off the stage.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours.

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself – to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart. – Leo F. Buscaglia

“It’s over between us” says cousin Jenny over the phone.”Jenny, this is the 100th time you’ve been telling me that! I bet after 4 days, you’ll be dialing his number again willing to go back on the most demeaning ways, my exasperated reply to her news.

I will not deny that I’ve been into bad relationships before. The roller coaster ride of breaking up and making up was so enticing and thrilling in the beginning. Then, it turned to be like a bad habit and I found myself hooked with seemingly no visible exits!

I thought I was in love because I lost my mind. Isn’t it that’s how they defined love: when you feel going out of yourself to reach out for the other?

No matter how many times did I try to defend myself from my family and friend’s advice to “wake up and bail ship”? To argue that they don’t understand, that my partner is special and I have faith in this person’s capacity to change for the better.

The inevitable split between us, is actually a pause. These pauses are the periods when I pretend that I’ve found the strength to move on, or the (in)significant other has expressed a need for space. The more I try to be adamant in my decision to end it up, the more I find myself yearning for this (in)significant other.

Just like all addictions, relapsed catalyst are like lap dancers: they taunt you with her seductive movements, moving your desires like a whirlpool until finally her presence will occupy your mind till you will stand up to reach out for her. The dollars in you wallet say ” everybody out 1 exit ” !!!!

I wish I knew how to quit you! -Jack Twist

What is it that takes hold of us to a certain person? Why does this capable and rational woman like my cousin Jenny would remain so intensely involved with a man who is consistently rejecting, who repeatedly causes her pain? Why, when she tries to give up this relationship, does she experience even more acute torment?

Why can’t we quit a person when it’s only giving us stress or shall we say, a bad relationship? I see it as an addiction. It is common for a person in a love relationship to become addicted to the other. I’ll bet one of you will argue that it is simply love or sense of commitment, right?

I think love and commitment gives you a freedom to choose another person. On the contrary, when you have a compulsive drive to go back to this person, then it is limiting your freedom, so it is addiction! The same holds true for smoking, drinking, gambling, etc.

Whether our addiction is to a substance or a person, this sense of incompleteness, emptiness, despair, sadness, and being lost will find its relief when we are in touch with this something or someone outside ourself.

I agree with Leo Buscaglia when he said ”a relationship is based upon freedom”.

Freedom is what I needed. Thus yrs ago I completely turned my back away from every bad relationship I found myself in . Until I found that person who will be by my side

RELATIONSHIP QUOTES

Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs.
Marianne Faithfull

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was ‘You’ll never find anyone like me again!’ I’m thinking, ‘I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.’
Anonymous

The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident. -Sir Hugh Walpoe

A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.
Cher

Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’s notice. There should be severance pay and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
“- Bob Ettinger

The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship. – by Miranda from Sex and the city

However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the “right” person, because he or she is the mirror of who you are inside. – Deepak Chopra

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it
seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that
you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:
a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that
regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re
gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as
making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both
hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I’ve learned that whenever
I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve
learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that
every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or
just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you
did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou

If you want to build trust in a relationship, make sure you use appropriate body language. When you speak to someone, face them directly, (nose to nose, toes to toes) rather than at an angle where their perception may be that you are giving them the “cold shoulder.- Sharon Johnson

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. – Author Unknown

Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. – Stephen R. Covey

Little kindness and courtesies are so important. In relationships, the little things are the big things. Stephen R. Covey

A deadness occurs in relationships when people are no longer willing to tell each other how they really feel. Shakti Gawain

Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others. Stephen R. Covey

Commitment is inherent in any genuinely loving relationship. -M Scott Peck

Any relationship primarily built on physical attractiveness is predestined to be short lived. Zig Ziglar

Before we can have a successful relationship with anyone, we first need a perfect personal relationship. Russ Von Hoelscher

Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other. Russ Von Hoelscher

Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person. Wayne Dyer

Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement…all success… all achievement in real life grows. – Ben Stein

When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. Deepak Chopra

If one does not wish bonds broken, one should make them elastic and thereby strengthen them. – Ardant du Picq

It’s okay to send flowers, but don’t let the flowers do all the talking. Flowers have a limited vocabulary. About the best flowers can say is that you remembered. – Jim Rohn

All disagreements are results of misunderstanding someone else’s level of consciousness. – Deepak Chopra

Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions. Deepak Chopra

Before you try to change others, remember how hard it is to change yourself. – Bill Bluestein

Every person is a new door to a different world. – from the movie “Six Degrees of Separation”

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company. – George Washington

an argument is always about what has been made more important than the relationship. -Hugh Prather

Everyone and everything around you is your teacher. – Ken Keyes, Jr.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. – Carl Jung

If those around you can’t listen and support you in your efforts, they have no place in your life. Author unknown

It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others. – Sidney J. Harris

No one makes you feel anything. It is how you react and respond that determines your emotions. – Brian Tracy

Random events in our lives, or people who do not prove predictable, undermine our sense of control, leading to unhappiness. Deepak Chopra

What you call flaws are really just the scars of hurts and wounds accumulated over a lifetime. Deepak Chopra

When you judge another person, you do not define him or her, you define yourself. – Wayne Dyer

Ignore people who tell you “you can’t” or try to discourage you. – Jeffrey Gitomer

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours. – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

You can end half your troubles immediately by no longer permitting people to tell you what you want. – Vernon Howard, 1918-1992

We always see others in the light of our belief; we always feel seen in the light of their beliefs. Deepak Chopra

can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. – Jay Leno

Two great talkers will not travel far together. – Spanish Proverb

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. – Charles Dickens

One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention.- Jim Rohn

Go out into the world today and love the people you meet. Let your presence light new light in the hearts of people. – Mother Teresa

Man is a knot into which relationships are tied. -Antoine de Exuperey

Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. – William James

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do,cause hate in your heart will consume you too. -Will Smith

Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but mostly it will be spilled. A relationships is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost. -Kahlil Jamison

We talk about the quality of product and service. What about the quality of our relationships and the quality of our communications and the quality of our promises to each other? – Max depree

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – Marcel Proust

The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.- Emil Ludwig

On Veterans Day A poem a soldier wrote on the death of another man

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” -John Fitzgerald Kennedy

“I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, ‘Mother, what was war?'” -Eve Merriam

This is one of the most touching poems you will read about the anguish any soldier or person inflicts upon himself when in war, when he causes the death of another. Being as I was Iraq/Somalia and Kosovo as a US Army Special Forces soldier this was a reality and a fear that we all held. I remember vividly like it was yesterday seeing a soldier blown to pieces 20 yds from me.

I pray everyday I will never have to embrace this kind of horror again, but I stood ready as we trained to. I know a lot of men and woman who have had to learn to live with the same memories portrayed in this poem, it horrifying, and a very difficult process helping them through it. Some of my friends will never recover. Every person you injure..every person who lost his life by something you did, or did not do, stays with you. The desktop warriors that frequent the internet are irrelevant.

Only the crazy love War.

It things like this that show there is hope though, he had mountains he had to overcome and concur, but he still lived a wonderful life. This poem has left me nearly speechless but I want to thank the family for publishing it, as I foresee this touching a lot of people, not only soldiers but civilians alike, and here is to the man who wrote it ! As he served his country proud! I salute him!

I shot a man yesterday
And much to my surprise,
The strangest thing happened to me
I began to cry.

He was so young, so very young
And Fear was in his eyes,
He had left his home in Germany
And came to Holland to die.

And what about his Family
were they not praying for him?
Thank God they couldn’t see their son
And the man who had murdered him.

I knelt beside him
And held his hand–
I begged his forgiveness
Did he understand?

It was the War
And he was the enemy
If I hadn’t shot him
He would have shot me.

I saw he was dying
And I called him “Brother”
But he gasped out one word
And that word was “Mother.”

I shot a man yesterday
And much to surprise
A part of me died with Him
When Death came to close
His eyes.

At the end of the Korean War Eisenhower said:
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. The world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children…. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense.
Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from an iron cross.

This is not a way of life

Why do woman date “bad men” Is It a myth of are men to blame also?

I’ve been reading a couple of thought provoking posts over at one of my blogs in particular a post about women loving jerks being a dating myth, and of course it’s got me thinking.

You’ve heard all about how “nice guys” finish last, that most women are more attracted to the “jerks” and “bad boys.” There are A LOT of men out there who think that women are more attracted to theses kinds of men. Yes, there are women out there like that. But, why is this? What is the REAL answer behind this subject on “nice guys?”

First of all, let’s begin by stating that there are not that many women who are attracted to the jerks or the bad boys. This is just something that is blown way out of proportion; greatly exaggerated. It just seems that way. Reading about this time after time after time on the Internet and in magazines and books just adds to the exaggeration, making it seem like that there are A LOT of women who are attracted to the jerks and bad boys. It’s a form of brainwashing. After so many times of reading and hearing it, men, too many, then begin to believe it.

Also, to add to this, too many men run into too many women who don’t have a good head on their shoulders. They are indecisive, flighty and flaky. These guys are then brought even further into the idea that all women aren’t attracted to nice guys but just the jerks. Well, it just ain’t so. If these guys dated and / or hung out with quality women, who know what they want, do you think that these guy’s mindset would be the same?

Another thing to think about is this: It doesn’t matter if you act like a jerk to her or not, hoping that this will somehow make you more appealing to her If she isn’t attracted to you in the first place! This jerk you always hear or read about can still have problems attracting some women. It’s because HE ISN’T HER TYPE. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER HE IS A JERK OR NOT. He himself may think he might attract more women if he stops being a jerk to them. Ironic, isn’t it?

Here is where this myth can be cleared up: She doesn’t want a doormat. She doesn’t want a guy who is TOO nice (wishy washy). She wants him to be a little cocky, like a man should be. She wants a nice, and especially funny guy, but one who also acts like a man.

In other words

What woman likes a wimpy doormat? Women want a man who has a combination of being a little cocky, bratty and have a take-charge attitude and being nice and funny. She wants all these qualities, not a doormat. You can be a bit of a cocky rebel like Sean Penn, humorous like Jerry Seinfeld, silly like Jim Carrey and nice, like you usually are, all in one package. Many nice guys don’t do this…that so many women find attractive in men. That’s why they are more attracted to the bad boys and the jerks. The women are attracted to these types of men because these men are a bit of a rebel, they are cocky, they speak their mind, and they don’t bend over backwards for women, or for people in general. But, the downside for the women is that many of these guys are too much like jerks, and they treat women poorly.

What Does It Really Mean When She says, “You’re A Nice Guy”?

If you watch dating shows, you probably seen where the woman says to her date, “You’re a nice guy….” Then, after the date, the host of the shows says, “Uh-oh. … The dreaded nice guy line.” Again, this is something that is blown way out of proportion. It’s as if this happens all the time.

But, what exactly does it mean when a woman, who isn’t attracted to you in that way says that to you? Would your immediate thought be of, “I need to stop acting like such a nice guy!” That’s the typical thought. But, that doesn’t make sense. All you were doing is being nice to her, like she was doing to you. You paid attention to what she was saying, you asked her questions, to get to know her, and you were the gentleman women like. So why do so many men feel that they have to stop acting like that??? You didn’t do anything wrong, IF…you didn’t act OVERLY nice, try to overly impress her, and you had an attitude that you do want to get to know her, but if it doesn’t work out, there is always another woman to take her place.

Here’s something else most men don’t get:

When a woman, who isn’t interested in you in that way says that you are a nice guy, it means EXACTLY just that. You ARE a nice guy, but she isn’t interested in you in that way. You just weren’t her type, that’s all. Also, when a woman says this to a guy, it’s just something to say to him. It’s sort of like when a man says to a woman, “I’ll call you,” when he isn’t interested in her. … It’s just something to say. And when they say to each other at the end of the date, “Talk to you later.” Will they really talk later? Did a light bulb suddenly come on in your head?

Here’s one last thing to think about:

Hasn’t there ever been a woman you weren’t interested in? How about that coworker or neighbor who could be interested in you, but you aren’t the least bit interested in her? Is it really that big of a deal when one person of the opposite sex isn’t attracted to another?

Why Do Nice Guys, Supposedly, Get Dumped On All The Time?

It seems to be a common belief among men that nice guys always get dumped on by their female friends, or by women in general. Is that really true, or is there something more to this than meets the eye?

I recently read the following e-mail from a man who has this problem of always being called a nice guy, but he can’t find a woman who is attracted to him:

I helped a female work colleague get a higher professional qualification. During this time we became great friends, but sadly, nothing more. She then went through the worst year of her life (death of a parent, changing jobs, theft, car problems, boss problems, etc). I became a shoulder to cry on and gave lots of love and emotional support. Things turned out well for her. She got promoted to her dream job in the same area, and I helped her find a new apartment, lent her money for the deposit, and then spent a week of my holidays helping her to do up the apartment. Gradually, over a period of about a month, she distanced herself from me. Later I found out that she had a boyfriend. I unwittingly set up her apartment for her and her boyfriend. I kinda quizzed her about her boyfriend, in which she got a little angry with me and told me it wasn’t really any of my business. Since then our friendship drifted apart.

This is a typical story from nice guys who think they get dumped on. They think that if they do these nice things for her, she will then think of him as more than just a friend. Typical.

What, you don’t do nice things for your male friends? Shouldn’t it be the same when doing nice things for women? Many women have angrily commented that their male friends would do nice things for them because they had another agenda in mind. Okay, now is that being a friend to her?

The man who posted that apparently thought that she would be so grateful for his help that she would rush into his arms. Nearly all the time it doesn’t turn out that way, because nearly all men are like this man, not telling her how he feels about her. They then instead go, Boo, hoo! Nice guys always finish last! They should make it clear at the get go, rather than harboring these expectations, which have now turned into resentments. Guys like these have only themselves to blame.

Don’t categorize the “users” with the women just wanting to be friends because the friends aren’t attracted to you in that way. You can easily distinguish between the two. Though it’s not clear if this man’s “friend” was a user or she was just mad at him because of the way he acted, and all she thought they were were just friends; that he was doing these things for her because that’s what friends do for one another.

Many women get pissed off at their male friend who acts jealous / like a baby when she doesn’t show more than just a friendship to him, and / or she is dating men other than him.

Here is a collection of statements from women on why nice guys quite often do get left out in the cold (Keeping in mind that women want a nice guy, but not if he is TOO nice; wishy washy.):

If all you have is one failed relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

(This does make sense. After all, if you do keep having failed relationships, or dates that don’t go past that first or second meeting, maybe you should be looking at yourself. Many men pick beautiful women who have nothing going for them but their looks, but these guys expect more from her, like being nice and thoughtful, when all she has going for her is JUST her looks.)
The biggest problem is that most nice guys are insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they will do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simple pleasure of giving.

There are women out there who zero in on nice guys to take advantage of them. “Users” stroke a nice guy’s ego, takes him for a ride, adds a notch to their belts, and then moves on to the next guy. Then these nice guys complain about women being so horrible.

Nice guys go overboard. They bring flowers to a “let’s get together” coffee date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They laugh at her jokes that aren’t even funny. They hang on to every word with such zealousness. “I want a guy to listen to me, but relax about it, will ya!
They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs to jump on hers.

More than loving the woman in his life, a nice guy NEEDS her. “She is my life, my only source of happiness” He is too clingy, he doesn’t have a life of his own.

Nice guys quite often help women who are losers, they have neurosis and personality problems. These guys think that by “helping” these women, it will make him a better, more loveable person. She will appreciate and love him. Then when she turns around and treats him like shit, he then says: “This is what I get for being a nice guy!”

They start out being our friends, and then, overtime, they think we owe them something more than friendship, just because we are of the opposite sex.

Some women do love jerks, i.e. the perpetual ‘Bad Boy’. Or if we put it in a language that makes us a bit more comfortable: they love men that create drama. they want excitement, passion, fireworks, and whilst sometimes they get that, they often get plenty of mistreating, emotional unavailability, and ambiguity. ‘Nice Guys’ aren’t claiming a rough ride for no reason; it’s because they often get relegated into the friend zone for behaving half way decent and being available.

Now very few women would hold their hands up and say they like Bad Boys and those that do, well they’re a different, rather honest kettle of fish, but every day women blindly pursue relationships with men that reflect the negative things that they believe about themselves, love, and relationships.

You’re not going to stick around and value a man that treats you well and wants nothing more than to love and have a future with you because if you have negative things permeating your relationships which in turn create unhealthy love habits, you will draw in men that perpetuate these very things, not challenge them.

You want a guy to want to be around you and not abandon you – Go out with a jerk and you’ll get abandoned.

You want a guy to love and cherish you – Go out with a jerk and you’ll feel unloved and uncherished, which makes you feel not good enough.

It all comes down to self-love and if more had a lot more of it and dealt with the negative hangovers that many women seem to be afflicted with, a lot of these clowns wouldn’t stand a chance.

Bad Boys confirm that you are not good enough.

Bad Boys create the drama that some think is supposed to be part of relationships by giving fleeting highs, plenty of lows, and never quite letting you know where you stand.

Bad Boys take the spotlight off you so that you get to focus on how bad they are and what they’re doing to ruin the relationship.
Bad Boys make you want to try harder to win them over by providing a challenge. Of course when you don’t ‘win’ you determine that there must be something wrong with them.

Bad Boys get away with being Bad Boys because there are always women out there willing to go out with them because women bet on potential and hope that if you love them enough and ‘prove’ yourselves that they will become exactly what you want them to be.

Unfortunately a jerk, is a jerk, is a jerk. A clown, is a clown, is an clown. A Bad Boy, is a Bad Boy, is a Bad Boy.

This is like waiting for the cockroach to turn into a frog to turn into a prince.

These men are unlikely to change when you show that you are willing to accept them in their dodgy packaging. There is no incentive to change because they know that you must have some dubious love habits if you’re even willing to entertain them.

So it’s not really about loving Bad Boys – it’s just that you don’t love yourselves enough and when that happens, YOU’ll happily welcome the waifs and strays of the dating pool.

Are you waiting for your clown to change?

I learned long time not to disrespect myself. If I treat a woman well and she takes or attempts to take advantage then I walk away permanently. How you treat others is a direct reflection of what is in your heart and what makes you a man. Its all a reflection of yourself.

The most moving and compassionate letter I’ve ever read.

I have found the thing women most want is not jewelry or chocolate but a love note from you. A Hallmark card with some prefabricated message simply won’t do. Women want to hear words straight from your heart.

But writing a well-crafted love note is no easy task. They can quickly devolve into trite, cliche mushiness that doesn’t say anything meaningful. Chock full of banal generalities, these love notes pack the romantic punch of a wet noodle. Do you need some inspiration on making your love note powerfully romantic?

Nothing is more romantic and tragic than the last letter a soldier writes home before being killed in action. The supreme example of this type of letter was written by a man named Sullivan Ballou.

Ballou was an American patriot who immediately and voluntarily left his career and family and enlisted in the Union army when the Civil War commenced. A week before Bull Run, a battle in which he would be killed, Sullivan penned this love letter to his wife Sarah. Read over the words slowly and take in what a true man’s love sounds like:

I have this letter framed in my office.

July the 14th, 1861

Washington D.C.

My very dear Sarah:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure-and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing-perfectly willing-to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows-when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children-is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death-and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and “the name of honor that I love more than I fear death” have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me-perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar-that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night-amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours-always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father’s love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God’s blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan

Finding The Right Woman

When it is comes to getting hitched, guys get cold feet for two reasons. Some guys are uber-picky.

They have a list in their minds of their perfect wife characteristics: hot but not slutty, smart but not nerdy, skinny but a good cook, etc. Unfortunately, no real woman can live up to the fantasy, and these guys stay perpetually single. The second type of guy looks at others’ failed marriages, particularly his own parents, and won’t get married because of the fear of choosing the wrong woman.

The truth is that knowing you’ve found the right person is not rocket science. Here are five guidelines that guide me on deciding

1. The relationship goes smoothly from the beginning. The best relationships I have seen, happened completely naturally from start to finish. You meet, get along swimmingly, start dating, and then get married. You never had a single dreaded “DTR” (Define the Relationship) during our courtship. Everything about the relationship felt like the most natural thing in the world. You never broke up and got back together. Or even considered doing so. In contrast, many couples break up and get back together numerous times. They fight and then make up and then fight again. I’m not saying that men in such volatile relationships should not get hitched. But the volatility will inevitably continue into the marriage. Whether that volatility is acceptable is up to each individual and their sense of the strength of that relationship.

2. She gets along well with your family and friends. Now there may be exceptions to this rule: your girlfriend and one of your friends or family members may simply have clashing personality traits. But in general, it is a red flag if your girlfriend does not mix well with your loved ones. Think about it-your family raised you and made you who you are, and you picked your friends based on your common interests and values. If she doesn’t like them and they don’t like her, then it may mean you are not seeing something important about your girlfriend that they see. When you are in love, it often blurs your vision and judgment. Your loved ones have an outsider’s perspective on the relationship. This doesn’t mean you should break up with a woman just because your friends and family don’t like her. If you are sure of your relationship, be confident in moving forward with it. But it is wise to seek honest feedback from others.

3. There is nothing major you want to change about her. There will always be differences and conflicts in a relationship. But if there is something truly significant about your girlfriend that you wish she would change, then that is a red flag. In the initial stages of a relationship, when your brain is bathed with love chemicals, you may be willing to overlook the flaw or even find it strangely endearing. But after several years, when the love chemicals have ebbed, this flaw may begin to grate on your soul. Remember, people seldom change, and marriage won’t make her change either. If there’s something about your girlfriend that you know deep down you can’t live with, than it’s time to move on. You’re wasting both of your times.

4. She’s your best friend. Physical attraction and chemistry are obviously crucial to any relationship. But at the core of the relationship should be a strong and deeply rooted friendship. Forty years down the line you’re both going to be soft, wrinkly, and saddled with low libido. What’s going to hold your marriage together when you are old and gray is your friendship. Therefore, if you feel like your girlfriend is your best friend in the world, there is a very good chance that she is the one for you. Do you want to spend all your time with her? Does she make any situation from going to a ballgame to doing your taxes more enjoyable? Do you feel like you could tell her anything and that she knows more about you than anyone in the world? Yes? Well then, she’s a keeper.

5. The thought of marrying her doesn’t scare you in the least. While the image of a man shaking in his boots and having second thoughts the night before his wedding makes for good TV and movie plots, the reality is that when you are marrying the “one,” you won’t be scared at all. Throughout the entire period of dating and being engaged, up until the night before The only thing You feel was happiness and excited anticipation. Like these tips, your mileage on this one may vary. I’m not saying that if you are nervous you shouldn’t get married. But if you go back and forth every week about whether you have made the right decision, you may want to do some serious soul-searching.

At a wedding someone said, “Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” When you find that woman, you can be sure she’s the one.