Why hot famous women are desirable..case in point… I give you Adam Shulman …Anne Hathaways boyfriend

Surely part of the reason famous women are so attractive is that they’re desired by so many other men. But I’d like to take a moment to consider what it is about these women that drives us so crazy. Sure, there’s the obvious answer: Famous women are hot. In fact, one might argue that their hotness is precisely the reason they’re famous. Being attractive seems like a prerequisite for a woman to break into the music, movie or modeling industries.

Here, however, I’d like to advance a contrarian argument. I submit that celebrities aren’t famous because they’re hot; rather, they’re hot because they’re famous. Preposterous? Maybe. But we’re not so sure. Let’s examine why fame makes women more desirable.

Beauty or rarity?
Of course the women on Maxims list are beautiful. You’d give your right eye for a night with Jessica Biel or Olivia Wilde. But isn’t their beauty magnified by how unattainable they are?

Think about that unrequited love you suffered through in college. Remember the pain and heartache you endured when you couldn’t have the object of your desire? Doesn’t it stand to reason that our desire for beautiful celebrities is partly due to the fact that we know we’ll never have them?

Consider too that men are also motivated by competition. It’s in our genes. Competition is what drives us as a species. We want what other men have, and we want what others tell us we can’t have — yet another reason fame makes women more desirable.

Surely part of the reason famous women are so attractive is that they’re desired by so many other men. We want Sofia Vergara because everyone else wants her too.

Actresses and models are also expert chameleons. That’s their job. They wouldn’t be where they are if they weren’t able to be variously sultry, shy, aggressive, innocent, quirky, and adorable. Is this another reason fame makes women more desirable?

Men do like variety; that’s why fidelity can sometimes be so challenging. We like the idea of swapping the pixie for the bombshell, trading in the vamp for the girl next door. Well, an actress can be all of those things at once. Someone like Mila Kunis is simultaneously the bitchy-but-hot girl from That 70’s Show and the sultry ballerina from Black Swan. In other words, we’re turned on by the prospect of variety, and women who work in the performing arts are necessarily variable. Part of what we love about famous women, then, is that they simultaneously represent so many of our fantasies.

Sexual archetypes
And while we’re on the subject, let’s ponder fantasies for a second. The fact is, most male sexual fantasies are pretty traditional. The vast majority of us respond to a very limited number of sexual archetypes: the good girl, the bad girl, the older woman, and so on. When it comes to desire, we’re not actually that creative. Advertisers, writers, producers, and other creative professionals know this about men, and they exploit it.

Celebrity women are presented to us in a way that will tap into these deep-seated sexual fantasies. Katy Perry, for instance, comes packaged as the classic beach bunny. Britney Spears first grabbed our attention as a naughty schoolgirl. Christina Hendricks entered the popular consciousness as a sexy secretary. Part of what makes these women so desirable, then, is not just that they’re physically attractive, but that the roles they play and the costumes they put on are designed specifically to channel those sexual archetypes.

Famous women can do this in a way that regular women can’t. The women you actually encounter during the course of a day are too three-dimensional and too complicated to be reduced to an archetype. That makes it harder for us to assimilate them into our conventional fantasy scripts.

We desire fame ourselves
Of course, another reason famous women are so desirable is that fame itself is attractive. Men fantasize about status and prestige all the time. We want to be respected, liked and admired. Is it possible that a famous woman is merely a physical embodiment (albeit a very sexy physical embodiment) of the status and prestige we strive for or fantasize about in our everyday lives? Maybe these women are somehow stand-ins for the status we desire. Maybe it’s fame, not Halle Berry, that we secretly lust after.

Deeper than beauty
I recognize that every woman on is objectively very beautiful. So the fact that we’re attracted to them isn’t a mystery. All I’m suggesting is that our desires might be more complex than they initially seem. Maybe it’s not just the physical form of these women that draws our attention — maybe it’s something they represent.

This leads me to Adam Shulman, Anne Hathaways fiance, and if the news is correct, her babys father He will stand and applaud her as she makes her way to the front of the room while I stand and applaud him from my living room.”
He’s trending for a reason, and it’s definitely not because he’s an accomplished actor. In fact othet than a bit part in 2008 he is best known for being on the front page of the NY POST for taking a mural.

Finally, a man smart enough to realize he’s hit the relationship Mega Millions by scoring a successful, gorgeous and rich woman and then having the wherewithal to prolong the relationship by knocking her up.

Mr. Shulman proves my theory that Womb Raiders do indeed exist; before that, with Kevin Federline (Britney Spears) and Cash Warren (Jessica Alba), I’d only suspected it.

What is a Womb Raider, you ask? Ever since reading this story last year about women using men for their sperm — affectionately referred to as Sperm Jackers — I’ve been a little ticked off. Women coming to the end of their most fertile years are left with no other choice but to get knocked up “accidentally on purpose” by men they barely know. They pull the goalie at the last second. He shoots, she scores (a kid). I’ve been pondering the possibility of the male equivalent. Why, and more important, how could a guy even the playing field? We aren’t in it for the sperm, and we certainly aren’t going to go getting every woman in the world pregnant (on purpose). What’s a guy’s angle? Then it hit me like a timely Gervais punchline at the Golden Globe awards. A Womb Raider. A man who gets a woman pregnant just to prolong a relationship.
Not just another gold digger
People might refer to this idea as gold digging, but that isn’t entirely accurate, because gold digging implies the Womb Raider is only doing it for the money. In reality, a Womb Raider is doing it for several reasons besides monetary: status, genetics and even for bragging rights. Sure, money is a good enough reason, but it’s also not half bad to have a kid with a hot and famous woman who can never cut ties completely because you share a spawn and she needs you to take him this weekend because she is attending this thing known as Cannes.

Plus, honestly, chicks did it first. They tricked us! That one-night stand who seemed a little too enthused about your comic book collection and your job at CVS? She just wanted to turn you into a baby-making machine. I’m glad men have finally figured out how to fight fire with fire. Or fire with an unwrapped hose, if you get my childish metaphor.

Shulman does deserve some type of award. How about “Best-Supported Actor of a Star on the Rise”? Fine. MVWR — Most Valuable Womb Raider.


Places to keep your Love alive !!!! You can leave your hat on !!!!

To keep any love alive physically you have to use your imagination. Be careful though cause you may running!!!!

1.In the dark at work
2.On a airplane
3.On the balcony of your apartment
4.In the bathroom at your parent’s house
5.In the pool
6.On the couch with your roommate at home
7.On the stairs in your house
8.On the hood of your car
9.On the kitchen table
10.On the washing machine while it’s on
11.In a phone booth
12.In a dressing room
13.On a lifeguard station at night
14.In the back seat of a car on a secluded cul-de-sac or in the driveway
15.In the shower
16.On a ferris wheel
17.In a tree
18.In a tree house
19.In the back of a pickup truck as airplanes fly over you to come in for a landing
20.On a piano
21.In the bathtub
22.On a pool table
23.On a workout bench
24.On a lounge chair, pool side at night
25.In a water amusement park
26.On the sofa couch watching an X-rated show with your lover
27.In a secretive place where you work
28.In front of your computer in the chair with your special love
29.On the Augusta Ga golf course
30.In a hammock in the backyard under the stars
31.In a rest area off a major highway, in broad daylight
32.In the forest against a tree
33.In the bathroom during a big party
34.On a slide in a park at night
35.In a hospital room
36.Under a bridge with traffic passing over you
37.In a stairway at a hotel
38.In a tent
39.In a sleeping bag
40.Against a fence
41.In a field of wild flowers
42.On a waterbed
43.In the snow
44.In the back of a pickup under the stars
45.In a cave with the waterfall underneath
the cave
46.On an almost never traveled country road
47.On a dinner table with candlelight around it
48.In an expensive hotel
49.In a haunted house
50.Underneath the library’s tables
51.In a hot shower against the wall or in the bath
52.In a parking garage
53.On a diving board
54.In the public park in the fallen leaves
55.Under a park pavilion during a thunderstorm
56.On a swing
57.In a Sauna
58.On top of a lighthouse
59.In the sea
60.On a double decker bus
61.On a boat in NYC during July 4th fireworks with the Miss Liberty in the backround
Add to the list!!!!!!!


Love and electricity are one in the same…
If you do not feel the jolt in your soul everytime
a kiss is shared,
a whisper is spoken,
a touch is felt….
Then your are not really in love at all….”



Its not to late to be what you should have been

What would you do if you have only so little time left in life? Have you ever thought about it??

Would you appreciate life more than ever? Would your perception of time change?

Would you love your loved ones even more knowing that your time on earth is limited?

We don’t endure to live a life. We live life because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?”

Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may give a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

You must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all.
Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out!

Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, “that’s baaaaad.”

Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

What will be the verse in the play about our generation.? What will your verse say ?

I find that the greatest thing in life is not so much as where we stand but in what direction we are moving . To reach the port of heaven we must sometimes sail not only with the wind and sometimes against it, but we must sail, not drift nor lie at anchor. I would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather my spark burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor in magnificent glow. The proper function of man is to live not just to exist

But also remember that we are just a extra in everyone else’s play so we have to take others with us along the way

The bottom line is that, as President Kennedy said, “We all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal.” But it’s time to remind members of Congress and ourselves worried about the “cost” of public health and the rebuilding of our country, that the cost of leaving people behind , that course of not living your life and achieving your dreams , the cost of that inaction , is much greater.

To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.
Anatole France (1844 – 1924)

Hope is a waking dream.
Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC), from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers

Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don’t.
Brett Butler, ‘Knee Deep in Paradise’

To want to be what one can be is purpose in life.
Cynthia Ozick, O Magazine, September 2002

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Douglas Adams (1952 – 2001), “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
Edgar Allan Poe (1809 – 1849), “Eleonora”

The wisest men follow their own direction.
Euripides (484 BC – 406 BC)

Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.
Friedrich von Schiller (1759 – 1805)

You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, “Why not?”
George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950), “Back to Methuselah” (1921), part 1, act 1

Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.
Germaine Greer, O Magazine, September 2002

They say dreams are the windows of the soul–take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts.
Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure, The Big Kiss, 1991

Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates: one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them.
Homer (800 BC – 700 BC), The Odyssey

We need men who can dream of things that never were.
John F. Kennedy (1917 – 1963), speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963

Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
John Updike (1932 – )

I do not want to die… until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown.
Kathe Kollwitz, O Magazine, September 2002

There should be fireworks, at least, when a dream dies.
Kirby Larson, Hattie Big Sky, 2006

It has never been my object to record my dreams, just to realize them.
Man Ray, O Magazine, September 2002
One must desire something to be alive.

Margaret Deland, O Magazine, September 2002
Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: – ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 – 1968), Speech at Civil Rights March on Washington, August 28, 1963

The aim of life is self-development. To realize one’s nature perfectly – that is what each of us is here for.
Oscar Wilde (1854 – 1900)

Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 09-07-04
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper
There is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia to-day, flesh and blood tomorrow.

Victor Hugo (1802 – 1885), Les Miserables, 1862
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

The day I went to the White House for the first time

When championship teams venture to the White House to meet the president, they always show clips on “SportsCenter” of the prez shaking hands with the captains, holding up a cheesy jersey, smiling happily and making a good-natured comment or joke. It’s always the same clip, isn’t it? Only the players and jerseys seem to change.

Well, I attended one of these gigs. President Bush welcomed seven NCAA championship teams to the White House, the room was filled with several hundred people … and I was there. In the East Wing of the White House. Jotting down notes like crazy.

So how did I get there? I was still in the military and my boss spent about a week trying to sneak me on the media list, a complicated process which even included the White House running a security check on me. Thank God, they never found out about that drifter I killed back in ’75. LOL

Once I passed the background check, they directed me to the White House press entrance at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Getting there, you notice five things right away:

The streets surrounding the building are blocked off by police barricades; once you come within a block, you can’t walk 20 feet without seeing another policeman. There’s a serious, weighty vibe in the air, as well there should be. Even at the press entrance, even after you’ve passed a security clearance, you still have to walk through three different gates and pass through an elaborate metal detector. People aren’t messing around at the White House.

When you finally get a good look at the White House, there’s obviously only one initial reaction: “Hey, it’s the place where Monica Lewinsky broke out her presidential kneepads!” Proud day for this country. Good times.

Like just about everything else, I discovered that the actual building isn’t nearly as big as I was led to believe. It’s like when you see a famous actor in person, and they’re always 5-foot-7 or shorter (unless they’re Liam Neeson, Will Smith or Jeff Goldblum), and it’s just utterly dumbfounding. That’s what looking at the White House is like. From the outside, it seems like your average gigantic house on Round Hill Road in Greenwich, Conn.

The decorated people walking around the premises (mostly from the Air Force and Marines) have tons of colored flag-thingies on their jackets. What are those called? I can’t remember. But you know what I mean. You’ve never seen more colored flag-thingies on one jacket in your life.

Around 3, we were finally shepherded into the East Wing of the first floor of the White House, so everyone could position themselves for the 3:30 ceremony (originally this was supposed to take place outside, but bad weather intervened). Now we’re getting somewhere. When you walk through the front door of the White House, with a band (from the University of Maryland) playing fight songs in the background, with those famous portraits of various presidents in the main lobby (including the classic of JFK glancing down), with that “Hey, I’m in the White House!” feeling trickling through your veins, it’s a pretty electric experience. I felt like Kevin Kline heading into the White House at the beginning of “Dave.”

Inside the assigned room on the East Wing — a giant, museum-like, ballroom-sized room filled with classic paintings — 350-400 people were packed like sardines, included assorted media, invited guests, parents, relatives and members of seven different NCAA championship teams (only the captains were allowed up front).

Too bad Clinton still wasn’t president for this one reaction? Wouldn’t that have been FEEEEEE-nomenal? Imagine Clinton sidling up to the Stanford volleyball captains with that grin that said, And what hotel are YOU staying at? Was there anything funnier in the history of politics than Bill Clinton trying to rein himself in around an attractive female? Man, I miss that guy.

Anyway, standing on the makeshift stage, the captains were holding those requisite team jerseys that said “BUSH 1” on the back (apparently they have to turn these jerseys in the previous day to the Secret Service, who screen and inspect them for God knows what). And everyone was standing around, and waiting, and waiting, and about 25 minutes passed, and you could actually feel the tension building. It was palpable. It almost felt like those glorious moments right before the lights dim in a stadium and a rock band comes out. Finally, the P.A. announcer said: “Ladies and gentleman, the President of the United States.”

And then … there he was: The leader of the free world. What a life. Every time he walks into a room, people applaud like crazy and fawn all over him … then he goes to his next venue, and it happens all over again. How can you top that after you leave the office? You can’t. I’d end up hiring a 40-person posse to follow me around and lavish me with applause at all times. But that’s just me.

Like most celebrities, Bush seemed much smaller in person — maybe about 5-foot-9 soaking wet, much frailer than you would think. He seemed like a nice enough guy, definitely someone who would kick back with you at a wedding and give you his last cigar. He just wasn’t that presidential.

For instance, Clinton apparently could command a room just by walking into it; Bush wasn’t like that at all. I’ve been in the same room with two people who were literally larger than life — Will Smith and Michael Jordan (although Moochie Norris comes pretty damn close) — and the Dubya Experience wasn’t remotely like that. He just seemed like a genuinely warm, genuinely nice guy. Maybe that’s a good thing.

After the applause subsided, ESPN’s Chris Fowler introduced the teams on hand before finally turning things over to Bush. The Prez cracked a quick joke about the extended intro (“I like a good, short introduction”) as everyone over-laughed because, well, he’s the President. Then he started talking extemporaneously, which is always scary because, well, he’s George W. Bush. That has been one of the more interesting subplots of 9/11, the fact that we can’t make fun of Bush’s public speaking anymore — we just have to stand there, smile through thinly clenched teeth and hope he makes it through the speech. Usually, he does. And on this day, he did.

It actually wasn’t a bad little speech. Bush brought up the “Champion” theme and tied it to America’s responsibilities as the leader of the free world, dropping nuggets like, “We defend freedom, we continue to defend freedom” and “You have a responsibility as a champion to set an example for others.” Bush has uttered these same words a million different ways over the past six months, but still, we ate it up. Something about hearing it in person makes it feel 10 times more powerful.

Expect a few cheesy scenes when the president greets a championship team.

After finishing his speech, the Prez called the captains up; they made small-talk with him, did the jersey exchange and posed for photos. Maybe the highlight was seeing one of football captains — wearing a Masters-green three-piece suit right out of the Big Boi collection, dreadlocks flowing off the back of his head — handing the President a football jersey. That killed me for some reason.

And then it was over. The President gathered up the jerseys, thanked everyone for coming and walked back across the room to thunderous applause. The whole thing lasted less than 20 minutes. With the schedule Bush carries, he’ll probably forget it even happened within two weeks.

But hey … I won’t forget. I went to the White House.

Inspirational Quotes to live by

1.“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot
2.“If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.”
3.“At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable.” – Christopher Reeve
4.“Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” ~ Steve Jobs.
5.“Do what you love and the money will follow.” – Marsha Sinetar
6.“The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.” – Richard Bach
7.“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” – Howard Thurman
8.“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
9.“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau
10.“No matter where you are in life right now, no matter who you are, no matter how old you are – it is never too late to be who you are meant to be.” – Esther & Jerry Hicks
11.“There’s nothing capricious in nature, and the implanting of a desire indicates that its gratification is in the constitution of the creature that feels it.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
12.“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” – Belva Davis
13.“I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk.” ~ Tony Robbins

14.“The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
15.“Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.” – Les Brown
16.“Make no small plans for they have no power to stir the soul.” – Niccolo Machiavelli
17.“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” – Anonymous
18.“Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” – Doug Ivester
19.“You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.” – Pursuit of Happyness (Movie)
20.“History shows us that the people who end up changing the world – the great political, social, scientific, technological, artistic, even sports revolutionaries – are always nuts, until they are right, and then they are geniuses.” – John Eliot
21.“You will not do incredible things without an incredible dream.” – John Eliot
22.“Instead of thinking about what you are going to do when you retire, think about how you can do that now and make a living from it.”

23.“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.”
24.“Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want” ~ Richard Koch
25.“I am not my memories. I am my dreams.” ~ Terry Hostetler
26.“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown
27.“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~ Albert Einstein
28.“Every second you spend thinking about someone else’s dreams you take time away from your own.” – Yogi Ramen
29.“What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
30.“20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the one’s you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover” ~ Mark Twain

In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.” – Arnold H. Glasgow
2.“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.” – Greg Anderson
3.“The most important thing about goals is having one.” – Geoffry F. Abert
4.“The only reason we don’t have what we want in life is the reasons we create why we can’t have them.” ~Tony Robbins
5.“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland
6.“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn
7.“Everything is always created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.”
8.“You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal.” – Zig Ziglar
9.“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” ~ Benjamin Mays
10.“People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.”
11.“A goal is a dream with a deadline.” Napolean Hill

Hard work
1.“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson
2.“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure.”~ Colin Powell
3.“The harder I work, the luckier I get.” – Gary Player
4.Success is 99% attitude and 1% aptitude.
5.“It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.” – Zig Ziglar

1.“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
2.“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” ~ Deepak Chopra
3.“Change is not pleasant, But change is constant. Only when we change and grow, We’ll see a world we never know.” ~From Wisdom of The Orange Woodpecker
4.You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. ~ Sri Ram
5.“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn

1.“The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.”
2.“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”

Quotes on Imagination and Creativity
1.“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” ~ Albert Einstein.
2.“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~ Albert Einstein
3.“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” ~ Pablo Picasso
4.“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

Coming soon to Wal-Mart. Take Back America, Do-It-Yourself Self-Government Tool Kit. Ask about our Lay-Away Plan.

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Your TBADIYSG Tool Kit gives you everything you need to run your government from the comfort of your own living room, in your pajamas – even if you haven’t bathed in three days. It comes complete with versatile tools tailored to fit your unique self-governance style.

Do-It-Yourself School System – Who knows better what your kids need to learn than you? Why waste their time on algebra and English when you can teach them what they really need to know – how to change spark plugs on your ’97 Ford F-150 Pickup truck, the proper bait for catching rainbow trout, or how to hide the fact you’re drunk from your boss. Your TBADIYSG Home School Tool Kit comes with ten free hall passes, a used copy of The Idiot’s Guide to Speling, the complete answer key to the 1995 SAT exam, and a beta videotape of the high school film anthem, Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Hey according to the state of Louisiana the Loch Ness monster actually exists. So lets play along and see whats behind door # 2

DIY Police Department – Thanks to state and local budget cuts, there are no longer enough police to protect our neighborhoods – and now you don’t need ‘em. You’ll now have your own Police Department in a Box. Live in a dangerous neighborhood? Crack house right next store? No problem. Just one zap from your VFTB-approved Taser X2 “Immobilizer” stun gun, and they won’t bother you anymore. Your Home Police Tool Kit also comes with your choice of Beretta PX4 Storm pistol or Browning BDA 380 semi-automatic, plus enough bullets to take out a small Afghan Taliban militia group. The kit also includes a police car siren – choose between four ear drum-splitting sounds – sure to keep the crack heads next door scrambling for cover. Your Tool Kit even has handcuffs – ideal for citizens’ arrests or private late night parties with that special someone.

DIY Fire Department – Why wait for the Fire Department to arrive 30 minutes too late? Spring into action instantly with our Fire Department in a Box! Comes complete with a recently expired fire extinguisher, 60-foot hose (made of durable water-soluble synthetic rubber), and a nine-foot fire escape ladder (ideal for ground level apartments). We saved the best for last: a faux stainless steel axe, like the kind they used in the movie Back Draft.

DIY Universal Healthcare – Worried about spiraling health insurance costs as you get older? Take a chill pill, thanks to our Universal Healthcare in a Box. You’ve watched enough episodes of Grey’s Anatomy that you could remove your spleen in your sleep. Now, thanks to this exciting offer, you actually can! Comes complete with an authentic-looking stethoscope (just like the type worn by George Clooney on E.R.), a two-month supply of slightly used gauze and Neosporin. We’ll even throw in a copy of the popular Milton Bradley game, Operation. But your home-based hospital would not be complete without a set of partially sterilized scalpels and a six-hour supply of nitrous oxide, to take your mind off the blood you’ll be hemorrhaging during self-surgery.

DIY Disaster Relief Preparedness Tool Kit – Tired of waiting six months for FEMA to show up to repair your roof which was ripped off by the latest tornado? Well, wait no more. Now help from FEMA is a thing of the past. The buck stops here – make that, the bucket – now that you have your own VFTB-approved bucket and mop set, ideal for bailing water from hurricanes or flooding. (You get a terrific upper body workout, too!) Comes with enough sand bags to staunchly defend even the most spacious 700-sq. ft. lot up to a depth of almost six inches. Includes two flashlights, a jar of Tang, and a week’s supply of bottled water imported from the South Pacific near the island paradise of Fiji (desalination tablets not included).

DIY Federal, State and Municipal Court System – Worried about the three-year backlog in our court system? Stop worrying. You’ve seen The People’s Court enough times to know all you need to know about American justice and damage awards – especially if the dispute involves a skanky ex-girlfriend who sold her ex-boyfriend’s collector’s edition set of Star Wars action figures. With our Courtroom in a Box, you decide who has screwed you over and what their punishment should be. (Sorry, no Death Penalty allowed for the guy who sold you that 2002 Kia that turned out to be a lemon. It was a Kia, for God’s sake.) Comes complete with judge’s robe, gavel and witness stand – some assembly required. (British barrister’s curly white powdered wig sold separately.)

But that’s not all. ACT BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT and we’ll throw in your very own Do-It-Yourself National Park Service. Comes complete with an inflatable Ranger Station, a herd of 15 playful mountain goats, and a fire danger rating sign in which you decide the danger level. Sounds like Smoky the Bear has a new best friend.

What you’re asking about all comes standard in the DELUXE Model of the Do-It-Yourself Self-Government Tool Kit. Coming soon to Wal-Mart. Ask about our Lay-Away Plan.



nochancepappy webblog

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Describe where you are and exactly what you plan on doing in intimate detail. This is a great place to introduce…

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