Surely part of the reason famous women are so attractive is that they’re desired by so many other men. But I’d like to take a moment to consider what it is about these women that drives us so crazy. Sure, there’s the obvious answer: Famous women are hot. In fact, one might argue that their hotness is precisely the reason they’re famous. Being attractive seems like a prerequisite for a woman to break into the music, movie or modeling industries.
Here, however, I’d like to advance a contrarian argument. I submit that celebrities aren’t famous because they’re hot; rather, they’re hot because they’re famous. Preposterous? Maybe. But we’re not so sure. Let’s examine why fame makes women more desirable.
Beauty or rarity?
Of course the women on Maxims list are beautiful. You’d give your right eye for a night with Jessica Biel or Olivia Wilde. But isn’t their beauty magnified by how unattainable they are?
Think about that unrequited love you suffered through in college. Remember the pain and heartache you endured when you couldn’t have the object of your desire? Doesn’t it stand to reason that our desire for beautiful celebrities is partly due to the fact that we know we’ll never have them?
Consider too that men are also motivated by competition. It’s in our genes. Competition is what drives us as a species. We want what other men have, and we want what others tell us we can’t have — yet another reason fame makes women more desirable.
Surely part of the reason famous women are so attractive is that they’re desired by so many other men. We want Sofia Vergara because everyone else wants her too.
Actresses and models are also expert chameleons. That’s their job. They wouldn’t be where they are if they weren’t able to be variously sultry, shy, aggressive, innocent, quirky, and adorable. Is this another reason fame makes women more desirable?
Men do like variety; that’s why fidelity can sometimes be so challenging. We like the idea of swapping the pixie for the bombshell, trading in the vamp for the girl next door. Well, an actress can be all of those things at once. Someone like Mila Kunis is simultaneously the bitchy-but-hot girl from That 70’s Show and the sultry ballerina from Black Swan. In other words, we’re turned on by the prospect of variety, and women who work in the performing arts are necessarily variable. Part of what we love about famous women, then, is that they simultaneously represent so many of our fantasies.
And while we’re on the subject, let’s ponder fantasies for a second. The fact is, most male sexual fantasies are pretty traditional. The vast majority of us respond to a very limited number of sexual archetypes: the good girl, the bad girl, the older woman, and so on. When it comes to desire, we’re not actually that creative. Advertisers, writers, producers, and other creative professionals know this about men, and they exploit it.
Celebrity women are presented to us in a way that will tap into these deep-seated sexual fantasies. Katy Perry, for instance, comes packaged as the classic beach bunny. Britney Spears first grabbed our attention as a naughty schoolgirl. Christina Hendricks entered the popular consciousness as a sexy secretary. Part of what makes these women so desirable, then, is not just that they’re physically attractive, but that the roles they play and the costumes they put on are designed specifically to channel those sexual archetypes.
Famous women can do this in a way that regular women can’t. The women you actually encounter during the course of a day are too three-dimensional and too complicated to be reduced to an archetype. That makes it harder for us to assimilate them into our conventional fantasy scripts.
We desire fame ourselves
Of course, another reason famous women are so desirable is that fame itself is attractive. Men fantasize about status and prestige all the time. We want to be respected, liked and admired. Is it possible that a famous woman is merely a physical embodiment (albeit a very sexy physical embodiment) of the status and prestige we strive for or fantasize about in our everyday lives? Maybe these women are somehow stand-ins for the status we desire. Maybe it’s fame, not Halle Berry, that we secretly lust after.
Deeper than beauty
I recognize that every woman on is objectively very beautiful. So the fact that we’re attracted to them isn’t a mystery. All I’m suggesting is that our desires might be more complex than they initially seem. Maybe it’s not just the physical form of these women that draws our attention — maybe it’s something they represent.
This leads me to Adam Shulman, Anne Hathaways fiance, and if the news is correct, her babys father He will stand and applaud her as she makes her way to the front of the room while I stand and applaud him from my living room.”
He’s trending for a reason, and it’s definitely not because he’s an accomplished actor. In fact othet than a bit part in 2008 he is best known for being on the front page of the NY POST for taking a mural.
Finally, a man smart enough to realize he’s hit the relationship Mega Millions by scoring a successful, gorgeous and rich woman and then having the wherewithal to prolong the relationship by knocking her up.
Mr. Shulman proves my theory that Womb Raiders do indeed exist; before that, with Kevin Federline (Britney Spears) and Cash Warren (Jessica Alba), I’d only suspected it.
What is a Womb Raider, you ask? Ever since reading this story last year about women using men for their sperm — affectionately referred to as Sperm Jackers — I’ve been a little ticked off. Women coming to the end of their most fertile years are left with no other choice but to get knocked up “accidentally on purpose” by men they barely know. They pull the goalie at the last second. He shoots, she scores (a kid). I’ve been pondering the possibility of the male equivalent. Why, and more important, how could a guy even the playing field? We aren’t in it for the sperm, and we certainly aren’t going to go getting every woman in the world pregnant (on purpose). What’s a guy’s angle? Then it hit me like a timely Gervais punchline at the Golden Globe awards. A Womb Raider. A man who gets a woman pregnant just to prolong a relationship.
Not just another gold digger
People might refer to this idea as gold digging, but that isn’t entirely accurate, because gold digging implies the Womb Raider is only doing it for the money. In reality, a Womb Raider is doing it for several reasons besides monetary: status, genetics and even for bragging rights. Sure, money is a good enough reason, but it’s also not half bad to have a kid with a hot and famous woman who can never cut ties completely because you share a spawn and she needs you to take him this weekend because she is attending this thing known as Cannes.
Plus, honestly, chicks did it first. They tricked us! That one-night stand who seemed a little too enthused about your comic book collection and your job at CVS? She just wanted to turn you into a baby-making machine. I’m glad men have finally figured out how to fight fire with fire. Or fire with an unwrapped hose, if you get my childish metaphor.
Shulman does deserve some type of award. How about “Best-Supported Actor of a Star on the Rise”? Fine. MVWR — Most Valuable Womb Raider.