The Rules of a Gentleman

No.1 – Run with her on the beach.

No.2 – Give her your sweater when she’s cold.

No.3 – Never talk about other girls infront of her.

No.4 – Learn to play the guitar for her.

No.5 – Comfort her when she’s scared.

No.6 – Watch the sunset with her.

No.7 – If she can’t sleep, read her a bedtime story.

No.8 – If you get in a fight with her and she starts crying, just stop and hold her.

No.9 – Never force her to do anything.

No.10 – Call her beautiful, especially when she least expects it.

No.11 – Never let her walk home alone.

No.12 – Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.

No.13 – Always make the first move.

No.14 – Never lie to her, she’ll find out.

No.15 – Kiss her when she’s sleeping.

No.16 – Sing to her no matter how terrible your voice is. ..she’ll like it.

No.17 – When she’s fighting with someone, defend her even when you don’t think she’s right.

No.18 – Accept her for who she is.

No.19 – Call her beautiful instead of hot nor sexy.

No.20 – Don’t let go first during a hug.

No.21 – Tell her if she has something in her hair.

No.22 – Tell her you love her before she sleeps every night.

No.23 – Never go through her messages.

No.24 – Making her look bad infront of your friends will make you look bad, too.

No.25 – Always have her back.

No.26 – Kiss her in the rain.

No.27 – Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

No.28 – Stay on the call with her even if she fell asleep.

No.29 – Let her fall asleep in your arms.

No.30 – Give her piggyback rides.

No.31 – Call her babe.

No.32 – Apologize when you’re wrong.

No.33 – Always open the door for her.

No.34 – Boobs or butts doesn’t matter.

No.35 – Notice the little things.

No.36 – Give her flowers.

No.37 – Good hygiene is a must.

No.38 – Be confident.

No.39 – Don’t swear.

No.40 – Carry things for her.

No.41 – Always be the stronger one.

No.42 – Pay for dinner.

No.43 – Hold her chair.

No.44 – Be a good listener.

No.45 – Don’t brag.

No.46 – Compliment her.

No.47 – Don’t use her.

No.48 – Respect her.

No.49 – Perform random acts of kindness.

No.50 – Never take her for granted.

No.51 – Give her breakfast in bed.

No.52 – Hang out with her friends too, not just yours.

No.53 – Do whatever it takes to make her happy.

No.54 – She’s more important than video games.

No.55 – Don’t make a promise if you’re going to break it.

No.56 – If she slaps you, you probably deserved it.

No.57 – She should have three things from you; your sweatshirt, a stuffed animal and a really pretty ring.

No.58 – Never slap her, even if it’s just in a joking way.

No.59 – If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

No.60 – Forget her birthday once and you’re screwed.

No.61 – Hug her from the back.

No.62 – Never insult her, even if you’re joking around.

No.63 – Never miss a date.

No.64 – Try your best to get her something on your vacation. (it doesn’t have to be expensive, as long as it’s from the heart)

No.65 – Wear that knitted sweater that she mad for you. (it will mean the world to her)

No.66 – Never ask her to buy you things.

No.67 – If you love her, show her, not your friends.

No.68 – Don’t get upset if she wants to watch chick flicks. (you might even like it)

No.69 – When she’s sick, don’t neglect her.

No.70 – Reply her texts.

No.71 – Never ask a girl out because of a dare.

No.72 – Never be late for a date.

No.73 – Unexpected surprises.

No.74 – When both of you are in a fight, take the blame even if she’s wrong.

No.75 – Listen to what she has to say.

No.76 – If you know she loves you, don’t play with her emotions and take advantage of it.

No.77 – When she refuses to talk to you because you did something to upset her,insist and make up for it.

No.78 – Make her feel like a princess.

No.79 – Shift to the dangerous side when crossing the street.

No.80 – When she drops something, stop whatever you’re doing to help her.

No.81 – Never let her down of blow her off.

No.82 – Treat her like your best friend.

No.83 – Kiss the back of her hand.

No.84 – Love her when she least deserves it — that’s when she needs it the most.

No.85 – Tell her your stories and feelings too. She wants to hear them. Promise.

No.86 – Don’t tell her lies just to spare her feelings, she’d rather know the truth now rather than finding out later.

No.87 – Yes, “I’m cold” is another way of saying “hug me”.

No.88 – Believe her and believe in her.

No.89 – Always listen to what she has to say.

No.90 – Good grammar is sexy.

No.91 – Look her in the eyes.

No.92 – Let her rest her head on your shoulder.

No.93 – Take the initiative to go and talk to her.

No.94 – Have pillow fights with her.

No.95 – Never talk bad behind her back.

No.96 – Never be a jerk to her infront of her friends.

No.97 – Never go to parties or hang out with other girls without her.

No.98 – Never make excuses.

No.99 – Don’t talk to her when you’re mad. (you will screw something up)

No.100 – Don’t try to keep anything from her.

No.101 – Slip sweet notes in her locker. (they will make her day)

No.102 – Never let a day pass without saying ‘I love you’ to her.

No.103 – Always protect her from any kind of harm.

No.104 – Never give her a reason to think that she’s the man in the relationship.

No.105 – Grand gestures.

No.106 – Kiss her under the stars.

No.107 – Love her unconditionally.

No.108 – Make her an album of the songs that reminds you of her.

No.109 – Never lead her on if you know nothing’s going to happen.

No.110 – Never answer “Does this make me look fat?” question. (it’s a trick)

No.111 – If you love her, never let her slip away.

No.112 – Your warmth soothes her heart.

No.113 – When going out, don’t ask her what she wants to do, take charge and decide.

No.114 – Smile and laugh at her jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

No.115 – If you don’t have time for her, make time for her.

No.116 – Always be available for her.

No.117 – If you love her, tell her before it’s too late.

No.118 – Never forget an anniversary.

No.119 – When you’re around her, always make her feel like you’re her first and last.

No.120 – It’s the little compliments that means alot to her.

No.121 – Show her off infront of you or her friends.

No.122 – When she’s tired, carry her.

No.123 – Never accuse.

No.124 – Do it because you want to, not because you want something back in return.

No.125 – Actions speak louder than words.

No.126 – Have those I-love-you-more-fights. (she thinks it’s cute)

No.127 – Don’t say whatever when you are arguing. (it’ll make her more mad)

No.128 – Never blame her for your mistakes.

No.129 – She loves that cute smirk. Promise.

No.130 – A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

No.131 – No more bro’s before ho’s. Well respected women, before bro’s.

No.132 – Don’t go anywhere without kissing her goodbye.

No.133 – Hold the door for every girl, attractive or not.

No.134 – Try to write a song for her, even if you’re not musically inclined. (she’ll love it no matter what)

No.135 – Text her good morning to have her day start with a smile.

No.136 – She comes first. Always.

No.137 – Never let her forget how much she means to you.

No.138 – Never let her fall asleep waiting for your call.

No.139 – Her “nothing” is always something.

No.140 – Never tell a girl she doesn’t understand. Ever. Chances are she does.

No.141 – Forehead kisses.

No.142 – Have a day for just you and her, she loves the one on one time.

No.143 – Have tickle fights with her (but let her win)

No.144 – Dance with her even when there’s no music on.

No.145 – Stay up, even if you are tired to talk or chat with her.

No.146 – Never give her a reason to doubt your feelings for her.

No.147 – Never reject her kisses or hugs.

No.148 – Don’t text or call her just because you’re bored.

No.149 – Kiss her spontaneously in the middle of her sentence.

No.150 – Love her for who she is, not for who you want her to be.

No.151- When she pushes you away, pull her in closer.

No.152- Call her love. It sounds classy.

No.153- Tuck her hair behind her ear.

No.154- Never compare her with your ex-girlfriends. She is incomparable.

No.155- Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.

No.156- If you fall in love with her, tell her. Just be prepared to catch her.

No.157- In the middle of a hug, squeeze a little harder. (she’ll love it, promise)

No.158- A gentleman always cheers for his hometown team. Win or lose.

No.159- A gentleman respects every women in his life. If you can’t respect your own mother, forget about respecting your girlfriend.

No.160- Stupid lame jokes; awkwardly adorable moments.

No.161- A gentleman never hits a girl, ever.

No.162- A gentleman always thinks before he says.

No.163- A gentleman is never rude.

No.164- A gentleman never breaks a promise.

No.165- Don’t try to out dress a woman. She should be the center of attention and should now feel that she’s under dressed.

No.166- A gentleman always dresses well.

No.167- Don’t just talk the talk.

No.168- Look people in the eyes when you greet them and shake their hand.

No.169- Never cut someone off.

No.170- If you’re trying to have a relationship, let the woman know. If you’re not, and you’re just trying to hit, let them know that, too.

No.171- Open doors. Pull out chairs. Let her order first. Simple manners.

No.172- No, she doesn’t look fat in the dress. Yes, even if she does.

No.173- Give girls a little extra respect.

No.174- Secret rooftop meetings never gets old.

No.175- Calling her “baby,” will make her melt every time. Promise.

No.176- When listening to the radio, if a love song comes on, squeeze her hand tighter.

No.177- Your girlfriend is not the prettiest of them all, because in your eyes, she should be the only one who is pretty.

No.178- Confidence is sexy. Cockiness is not.

No.179- Hold her while she cries, nothing feels better.

No.180- When hugging her, lift her off her feet and spin her around. (she’ll love it.)

No.181- Always maintain eye contact. It lets her know that you are only paying attention to her.

No.182- If you make her bite her lip, know that you’re doing a damn good job at whatever you’re doing.

No.183- Hold her tight, she won’t want you to let go.

No.184- Make holding her hand too tight be the only way you can hurt her.

No.185- Kisses aren’t everything; never underestimate the power of a good hug.

No.186- Play with her fingers, she loves the way your hand touches hers.

No.187- Grand gestures and complimenting the little things aren’t opposites. Do both.

No.188- Don’t tell her your love is forever unless you have no doubt it is.

No.189- Tell her all your sweet memories together. She’ll be smiling all day long knowing that you remember every single moment you’re together.

No.190- If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy enough.

No.191- A man’s biggest mistake is giving another man an opportunity to make his woman smile. If you love her, you shouldn’t be giving any guy that chance. It should be you making her smile.

No.192- Every gentleman should have at least one suit in his closet.

No.193- Good look’s just a bonus if you have a great personality.

No.194- If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took every ounce of courage in her to say that. Idiot, don’t take her for granted.

No.195- A gentleman should always have one good watch on his wrist. It’s a mark of character and dignity.

No.196- Gentlemen, wear a belt. It’s called underwear for a reason.

No.197- Don’t try to outdress a woman. She should be the center of attention and should not feel that she’s underdressed.

No.198- Being open-minded and aware of the world around you shows class and sophistication, but avoid seeming pretentious by being modest instead of showing off what you know.

No.199- Don’t ask about the last guy she was with. Being competitive is a young man’s game.

No.200- Avoid public fights with your woman. Keep things private to let her know there’s an exclusive world that you and her share.

No.201- Avoid unnecessary use of expletives in public, especially in the presence of a woman you’re trying to impress.

No.202- If you want to leave her, leave her breathless. If you want to lie, lie next to her. If you want to let go, let go of your pride and pursue her.

No.203- Boasting about your intelligence isn’t attractive, neither is downplaying it.

No.204- Always keep the balance between obsession and apathy. Make her feel important but give her some space when she needs it.

No.205- Gentlemen, be aware that the line between confidence and arrogance is extremely thin.

No.206- Every girl wants that feeling of being wanted and belonged too. So gentlemen, give it to her. Give her your undivided attention, the best that you can give and offer her, and the best of the best that you know she deserves.

No.207- Always kiss your lady’s hand. It will make her feel like a queen.

No.208- Apologize. You are not degrading yourself, you are showing that you care for that person’s feelings.

No.209- Don’t tell her you love her unless you really mean it. She might do something crazy, like believe it.

No.210- Nice guys finish last because they put their ladies first.

No.211- Don’t waste your time looking for all the wrong ones, when you already have the right one.

No.212- Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. So, if your give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.

No.213- Chivalry is very much alive. Just because a girl acts like she doesn’t care for those small things, inside she’s really looking for it.

No.214- Don’t bring up how many girls you’ve been with; it will not make you look better nor will it impress her.

No.215- Tell her nobody’s perfect, but she is as perfect as they come.

No.216- Allow your lady to walk ahead of you, not all over you.

No.217- Don’t tell her you love her, if you have another girl by your side.

No.218- A girl’s dream is to own something that belongs to you. When she has that, she feels extra close to you.

No.219- If you feel as if you’d die for her, live in such a way that she would know.

No.220- Go ahead, take a punch for her, give one if necessary, just make sure she wasn’t the one that got hurt.

No.221- Sometimes you shouldn’t have to ask how she’s doing. Read the signs: look into her eyes.

No.222- Remember, whenever she finishes a sentence with “I’ve never told anyone that before,” make sure to never forget.

No.223- Real men never stop trying to show a girl how much she means to him, even after he’s got her.

No.224- Kiss her nose.

No.225- Give her something to tell her friends about.

No.226- A gentleman doesn’t need to hit a woman to feel like a “man”. After all, he is a gentle man.

No.227- If she worries about you, it just means she cares. But when she stops caring, that’s when you should be worried.

No.228- When she starts to let go during a hug, pull her even closer and hug her even tighter.

No.229- Just because she has dated douchebags doesn’t mean there isn’t any chance for a nice guy.

No.230- Don’t flip out when your girlfriend wonders who you’re with or what you’re doing. It means she cares and she’s actually afraid to lose you to someone else.

No.231- “Don’t date the most beautiful girl in the world, date the girl who makes your world the most beautiful.”

No.232- Spill your heart out to her; if she loves you she’ll love to listen.

No.233- “Anyone can be heroic form time to time, but a gentleman is something you have to be all the time.” -Luigi Pirandello

No.234- A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl.

No.235- A true gentleman should never take advantage of any lady.

No.236- When you’re holding hands, squeeze hers from time to time. It will surely make her look at you and smile.

No.237- When she rubs her arms with both hands, it’s another sign of saying, “Hug me, make me warm.”

No.238- Remember, she loves you for you. So don’t try to go around changing yourself just to impress her.

No.239- When you say ‘I love you’, say it in a way she’ll want to hear it. Look her in the eyes; grasp her hand; and lean close to her, so she knows you’re truly serious.

No.240- If you aren’t treating her right, don’t be mad when somebody else does.

No.241- Never ever make a girl feel anything less than perfect.

No.242- A gentleman never lies to his woman. Ever.

No.243- A gentleman should always give up his seat for the elderly.

No.244- You came from a woman. So you have no right to disrespect one.

No.245- Hold her when she’s crying and tell her that everything’s going to be okay.

No.246- A gentleman can recognize it when he loses a fight. Know the difference between standing up for yourself and being a fool.

No.247- There are so many fishes in the sea. Do not settle until you have found your mermaid.

No.248- A gentleman only lies to his woman if it involves surprising her.

No.249- If you break up with her, check up on her every once in a while to make sure she’s alright.

No.250- A gentleman admits when he’s wrong, and stands his ground when he is right.

No.251- A gentleman respects a woman’s boundaries.

No.252- Fall in love with her flaws. Everything else will be a plus.

No.253- It doesn’t matter how many fights you two may get into. If you truly do love her, it should never matter. Ever.

No.254- Love her when she least deserves it because that’s when she needs it most.

No.255- Honesty. She’ll respect you even more.

No.256- Be the one who stays by her side and protects her. Especially when no one else does.

No.257- Tell her she’s beautiful everyday. You don’t know how much that will mean to her.

No.258- A gentleman doesn’t just tell his lady he loves her, he shows it.

No.259- Any lady just wants you to be a well-mannered gentleman that treats others right.

No.260- A gentleman is always a gentleman and nothing less.

No.261- Before speaking your concerns, give them thought, then do so appropriately.

No.262- “I love you” means nothing if you don’t sincerely mean it.

No.263- Respect people’s feelings. Even if it does not mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them.

No.264- Pretty and sexy is not the same as beautiful.

No.265- She deserves the best. Even if you’re not meant to be the man to give it to her.

No.266- A kiss is nothing unless it is backed up feelings for her.

No.267- Chivalry never died, the gentleman in you did.

No.268- A good gentleman treats his mother like a queen and treats you the same.

No.269- Just because you’ve stopped talking to each other doesn’t mean you’re not on her mind.

No.270- Don’t make her feel special when she’s actually not. Avoid false hope.

No.271- If she’s responsible for your smile, then be responsible with her heart.

No.272- A true man’s heart knows no distance.

No.273- Never, ever give her a reason to feel threatened by another woman.

No.274- A good gentleman is smart, but a great gentleman is well-educated.

No.275- Remember, she has a past too. Don’t hold it against her.

No.276- You need to have your favourite song. The one that reminds you how it all began. Make sure she never forgets it.

No.277- Never make her stay up all night waiting for your call, and have to realize late at night that you aren’t going to call.

No.278- Don’t underestimate the power of a hug. It can turn her day around.

No.279- If she leans against you, hug her. She wants to be held.

No.280- Calm, cool and composed. All characteristics a gentleman possesses.

No.281- If you love her, remember that on the bad days.

No.282- Chivalry will never run out of style.

No.283- Men are supposed to lead, not lead on.

No.284- Never miss a chance to tell her you love her because you never know when it’ll be your last.

No.285- Being a male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. But, being a gentleman is a matter of choice.

No.286- Hold her tighter, kiss her harder and love her more as everyday goes by.

No.287- Treat everybody equally. Their sexual orientation should not matter.

No.288- A gentleman never pursues an already taken woman.

No.289- Good morning texts.

No.290- Be a lady’s man, not a ladies man.

No.291- Chivalry is a beautiful, genuine thing. It will never die.

No.292- Make her your everything in front of everyone, everytime.

No.293- The acknowledgement of a gentleman is found through his actions and the word in which he gives.

No.294- Ladies first.

No.295- She chose to be with you, don’t test her.

No.296- An already taken gentleman never pursues another woman.

No.297- A gentleman never has to tell anyone he is gentleman.

No.298- Love her through life, through death, and even after that.

No.299- Never make a promise you can’t keep.

No.300- Don’t hold anything against her, especially her mistakes.

No.301- A gentleman knows that if it ever comes to that, he can let go of her, but he will never forget her.

No.302- A gentleman knows when to call her sexy, and when to let her know she’s beautiful.

No.303- Spending time with your lady is all well and good, but a gentleman never forgets his friends.

No.304- Chivalry and respect are as natural to a gentleman as breathing. They should not require effort.

No.305- Trust will make or break your relationship.

No.306- A real gentleman doesn’t have to undo your shirt to get a better view of your heart.

No.307- Treat every woman the way you’d want your daughter to be treated.

No.308- A gentleman knows that it takes what won her, to keep her.

No.309- A gentleman should not abuse power, but they shouldn’t forget that they have it.

No.310- Practice what you preach. It’s as simple as that.

No.311- By respecting the boundary between being close friends and flirting, you’re respecting your lady.

No.312- Treat your lady like you treat your Tumblr, give her all your time, love and respect.

No.313- It doesn’t have to be her birthday or Valentine’s Day. Show up at her door with a rose, a blanket and a picnic table.

No.314- A gentleman should not easily let his woman slip his sight, but he should know her freedom of space.

No.315- A gentleman should always treat a girl well, before they are together, and after as well.

No.316- Chivalry is the only “wingman” you need.

No.317- Add a genuine “how are you’ to your greetings and an “I’m there for you” to your goodbyes.

No.318- If you care about her, chase after her.

No.319- A gentleman shouldn’t strive to make his girl jealous, but to make others jealous of his girl.

No.320- Just show her that you care.

No.321- A gentleman must know how to take care of himself as well.

No.322- Don’t leave her because of long distance. The absence makes the heart grow fonder.

No.323- The trick to being a gentleman is making her feel like a lady.

No.324- Texting her “good morning beautiful” instantly puts her in a good mood. It lets her know that she is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning.

No.325- Be yourself, because by being yourself you could possibly be everything that she needs.

No.326- Sometimes she’s just waiting for you to make the first move.

No.327- A gentleman never allows himself to come second to another, and knows when he has to move on.

No.328- Play games, not ladies.

No.329- Always tell the truth.

No.330- Love is like a wheel, it has its ups and downs. But in the end you’ll find out it’s still meant to last forever.

No.331- A gentleman should be honest to everyone, including himself, at all time.

No.332- A true gentleman will do anything to make his girl happy.

No.333- Never talk about past big loves, it will only make her think she needs to live up to it.

No.334- Fall for her harder everyday.

No.335- A gentleman knows that once you have her, you keep her.

No.336- Don’t go to sleep unless everything is okay between you and your lady.

No.337- Second chances mean that she loves you too much to leave, don’t do anything to change that. Return the favour.

No.338- A gentleman should tell his lady every night before he goes to sleep just exactly how much she means to him.

No.339- Being a gentleman isn’t a form of courtship, it’s a way of life.

No.340- The sexiest curve on her body is her smile.

No.341- Don’t ever break her trust in any way, because you will never fully gain it back.

No.342- Cheating is never okay. There is no justification for it. Just don’t.

No.343- The way a gentleman treats his mother, is a pretty good indicator of how he will treat his lady.

No.344- Late night conversations is something every girl likes.

No.345- If you truly love her, you’d want what’s best for her; whether it includes you or not.

No.346- Don’t ever make a lady cry.

No.347- Stay calm and be her man.

No.348- Don’t settle for someone that doesn’t treat you the best they can. You always deserve 100% of someone’s love.

No.349- Never underestimate a lady’s will power.

No.350- Show her that chivalry isn’t dead.

No.351- Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

No.352- Saying sorry doesn’t fix the problem. It’s what you do after that truly counts.

No.353- Don’t make promises you can’t keep, it’s not fair to her.

No.354- A real gentleman is well versed when it comes to poetry.

No.355- A true gentleman only gives for the sake of giving, never expecting anything in return.

No.356- Give her reasons to believe, not to doubt.

No.357- Simple good night and good morning text messages are highly appreciated.

No.358- Don’t talk about other girls, when you have a girlfriend. Make her feel like she is your only one, because she should be.

No.359- A gentleman attracts the attention of many, but only has eyes for his own lady.

No.360- A lady would rather be hurt with the truth, than with a lie.

No.361- A gentleman always reminds his lady how much she means to him, even though she won’t forget.

No.362- The worst thing you could do to a girl is compare her to another girl.

No.363- Remind her of how beautiful she is, every now and then.

No.364- A gentleman knows that it is often the simple gestures that mean the most.

I didnt write this
o.365- A true gentleman should always trust his woman, because if you were truly in love, there is no reason to think she’d betray you.

No.366- A true gentleman won’t judge by looks but by heart.

No.367- Never date an ex’s best friend; chances are that will ruin their friendship and quite possibly end your new relationship.

No.368- Say nice things to her because you mean them, not just because she wants to hear them.

No.369- A gentleman knows to let his past make him better not bitter.

No.370- Kiss her like it is your first kiss, everytime.

No.371- Put some effort into the conversation.

No.372- When she cries, don’t say a thing, just hold her tight, and make her feel safe.

No.373- Compliments feel better when they’re genuine and unexpected. The more girls you call beautiful, the less impact it has.

No.374- A true gentleman will admit when he is wrong.

No.375- Real men stay faithful. They don’t have time to look for other woman because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own.

I didnt write this. I just thought I would share


Man Up !!!! My fake Facebook/ Twitter Warriors Man UP !!!!!!

Very often in these societies what constitutes a man and a woman are clearly defined roles, but in our societies today they are not. Too often we want to measure manhood by some quantifiable amount of testosterone, bravery, or physical strength but we fail to see what truly makes him a man. Don’t get me wrong; women like a sense of safety but that could be when in his arms or walking down the street, financial security, or simply being able to trust him in their relationship. As we see though, there is variety in so many aspects of manhood and differ by situations and relationships.

But Im gonna start a fight , because I’m a man and that’s how I solve problems. I’m not here to help you. I am here to fucking hurt you. That’s what I’ve learned in my years with the Internet/ Twitter warriors . You have an issue with somebody? Man up on the computer.!!! You see somebody being stupid? You don’t look the other way. You don’t back down. You strap on your man boots and you shove it through their teeth. Be Tom Cruise who says being in a movie is like being a soldier in Afganistan….moved me to faux tears that day.

I know this is true. Twitter told me. Facebook told me. Hell, Sportcenter told me . We’re Klingons, but only on the Computer or on Sun . I’m telling it like it is; that’s what men do.

Richie Incognito was suspended from the Dolphins for his treatment of his teammate. Over the next few days, Shadow League’s J.R. Gamble called Martin “soft.” Giants safety Antrel Rolle said: “You’re a grown-ass man. You need to stand up for yourself.” Ex-Dolphins lineman Lydon Murtha wrote that Martin was a “standoffish and shy” player who “broke the code” and that “playing football is a man’s job” of “high testosterone.” Sports Illustrated’s Jim Trotter spoke to a mean fleet of NFL types who all agreed that Martin was “a coward.” One said: “I think Jonathan Martin is a weak person. If Incognito did offend him racially, that’s something you have to handle as a man!” Another one said: “You handle it in house — fight, handle it on the field, joke about it, etc. — and keep it moving.” Another one said: “I might get my ass kicked, but I’m going to go down swinging if that happens to me, I can tell you that.”

Fake Warriors make war on warriors. There’s no room for crying in this game. Handle it like a man. Go down swinging. I hear you, and that’s why I’m not here to move you or persuade you. If you have a penis and feelings, you’d better cut one of them off. I’m here to start a fight. Twenty plus years in the US Army made me pretty good at fighting.

But this idea that anybody is a weakling for seeking emotional help — this is some room-temperature faux-macho alpha-pansy nonsense, and I am here to beat it bloody and leave it on the ground. Every person who’s spreading this around, directly or by implication; every soldier, player who’s reaction-bragging about his own phenomenal hardness; every pundit in a square suit who’s braying about the unwritten code of the locker room — every one of these fake tough guys in the Internet- every one of these guys should be ashamed of himself, and that’s it, and it’s not a complicated story.

Let’s put some things in context, shall we? We’re lucky in this regard, because it’s actually fairly easy to put mental-health issues in context in a league whose retirees have a disproportionate tendency to shoot themselves to death. Former Chargers DB Paul Oliver is the most recent. He killed himself in late September at the ripe old age of 29. In 2012, four players or ex-players committed suicide in eight months, including 25-year-old Titans receiver O.J. Murdock, beloved Chargers icon Junior Seau, and Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher, who — maybe you vaguely remember this — shot himself in the parking lot of the Chiefs’ practice facility after murdering his girlfriend in front of his 3-month-old daughter.

In U.S. military has recorded 161 potential suicides in 2013 among active-duty troops, reservists and National Guard members — a pace of one suicide about every 18 hours. The Army, the largest contingent of the armed forces, sustained 109 reported suicides during the first four months They average one every 18 hrs. Sexual attacks are up 46 %

The plague of suicides might by itself hint at the severity of the desperation many seem to find below the surface of America’s favorite TV show. But let’s say you don’t see it that way. You need more convincing, maybe because you’re a man and you know that compassion is a lie invented to keep you from owning a Hummer. Fine. Let’s squeeze into our thinking caps and keep going.

Look at it this way: No one thought Joe Theismann was soft for leaving the game when his leg was hanging sideways. Sometimes the brain THOUGH goes sideways, and when that happens, “brave” or “cowardly” shouldn’t even come into it. Seeking help is just the practical thing to do.

Or look at it this way: Say Jonathan Martin had three children, two boys and a girl. Say the youngest was 2 months old and the oldest was 3 years old and they all died in a fire. Would you call him weak for missing some games over this? No, because you would understand that he was in unbearable pain, that he was literally crazy with hurt, and you would want to support him because, to your mind, the pain would have a valid cause. But what makes a badly suffering person incapable of functioning isn’t the validity of the cause, it’s the extremity of the pain. And sometimes — because brains break! — it’s possible to feel as if your children had burned to death for no obvious reason at all. The ceiling is screaming, every pore in your skin hurts, the view in the window hurts, the idea of getting off the couch to close the curtains hurts, thinking five minutes into the future makes you feel like you’re coming apart at the atomic level. You need help when this happens. Yeah, even if it means that the hardest men on the planet — Twitter/Facebook users — lose respect for you.

I love football just like I loved being in the Military…its beautiful, it’s thrilling, it’s an excuse to drunk-tweet in the mid-afternoon — but it has also become the major theater of American masculine crackup. It’s as if we’re a nation of gentle accountants and customer-service reps who’ve retained this one venue where we can air-guitar the berserk discourse of a warrior race.

We’re Klingons, but only on Sundays. The Marines/Air Force and the Army the have a strict anti-hazing policy, but we need our fantasy warrior-avatars to be unrestrained and indestructible. We demand that they comply with an increasingly shrill and dehumanizing value set that we communicate by yelling PLAY THROUGH PAIN and THAT GUY IS A SOLDIER and THE TRENCHES and GO TO WAR WITH THESE GUYS and NEVER BACK DOWN. We love coaches who never sleep, stars who live to win, transition graphics that take out the electrical grid in Kandahar. We love pregame flyovers that culminate in actual airstrikes.

And of course this affects men Locker-room guy-culture is one thing; the idea that any form of perceived vulnerability is a Marxist shadow plot is something else. It’s a human inevitability that when you assemble a group of young men some of them will go too far, or will get off on torturing the others — which is why it’s maybe a good idea, (the real-life military) , to have a system in place to keep this in check. What we have instead is a cynical set of institutional fetishes that rewards unhealthy behavior. The same 110-percent-never-give-an-inch rhetoric that makes concussed players feign health on game day encourages hazing creep after practice. Don’t believe that? I’ve got a helmet-to-helmet hit here for you, and that’ll be $15,000, petunia.

I guess the nuanced line on the scandal in Miami is that a locker room is a complicated organism, and the aggression/affection dynamic between teammates is impossible for outsiders to understand. Maybe that’s true. But there are boundaries in locker rooms, same as anywhere else, and those boundaries are culturally conditioned, same as anywhere else, and they change with time, and they can be influenced. And it would be really good, it would be a really good thing, if the people moved its boundaries in such a way as to show some minimal respect for mental health. Not just for PR purposes, but because for as hell-bent as we seem on turning football players into gods without dignity, humanity doesn’t stop the moment you strap on a helmet or go on Twitter. I don’t know when peopel forgot that fact, but the evidence is overwhelming that it needs to remember.

There will always be assholes. They should be curtailed. And when anybody says he needs time off for mental reasons — again: in a society with a suicide problem — it shouldn’t spark a national conversation on whether he’s soft.

But I am here to hurt you, so I’ll also say this: You’re a warrior, cool. What the hell are you a warrior for? I’m sorry if this makes it sound like I have emotions other than anger — I assure you that I don’t — but tell me this: What’s the point of being strong if all you stand for is abusing others? I was taught that when you see a problem, you step up and solve it, all those anonymous sources foaming on about how to be a man — is that what they think “being a man” is? I mean, nothing about protecting someone who’s struggling in your big gender equation, then? Nothing about, like, knowing right from wrong?

Here’s what I can’t stop thinking: The unwritten code of football is that you handle your business in-house. Any one of these men could have said something to stop Incognito and help Martin. Any one of them could have handled it. They’re warriors, right? They’re paragons of strength. And yeah, there are complex reasons why they didn’t. But they didn’t.

So if there is so many differences can there be any consistent aspects of manhood that exists today? It’s hard to say, but I’ve been lucky enough to see living examples in my friends and family. Even in the warrior tribal sense honor has always been associated with being a man. Honor can be described as honesty, respect, and integrity. Honesty is a complex idea, not every man who lies is dishonest and those who tell the truth can at times be far from honest.

I’ve seen a good man sin
I’ve seen a tough man cry
I’ve seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie”

If by Rudyard Kipling
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!