Movie Stars like Anne Hathaway, Rachel McAdams; Notting hill -just a girl; and 5000 Friends on FB are not real friends.

Serious question: Do you know who your friends are? What makes your friends your friends in life or on Facebook

Last night I sat on the couch with an old friend. She is going through a hard time in her life for her husband was killed in Afganistan 2 yrs ago. Fittingly, it was this friend and her husband who stood by me as I went through my hard time and now I was doing the same for her. She cried, but not because it was sad The emotional intensity of it all was so overwhelming that she ended up in tears. During this time the Movie Notting Hill playing in the backround.

The experience was jarring for me. Not because I minded crying or sharing that kind of experience with a friend. It was jarring because sitting there and feeling what a close friendship is, I realized that a lot of people that I call “good friends” aren’t really good friends at all. I realized how readily I use terms like “good friend” or “close friend” with people I’ll never have this kind of experience with.

In this age of omniconnectedness, words like “network,” “community” and even “friends” no longer mean what they used to. Networks don’t exist on LinkedIn. A community is not something that happens on a blog or on Twitter. And a friend is more than someone whose online status you check. A friend is an emotional bond, just like friendship is a human experience. What I’ve learned is that I’ve too often confused the weak bonds I have with people I know with the strong bonds I have with friends. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is.

A friend is someone with whom we share deep trust. The strong bond we have with a friend means that person will be there for us no matter what. The reason I made it through a few years ago was because someone was there for me at a time when I could offer nothing in return. The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation; friendship is not always about giving and taking in equal shares. Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when.

There is a difference between vulnerability and telling people everything about yourself. Vulnerability is a feeling. Telling everyone about yourself is just facts and details. The problem is the more we share about ourselves on Facebook, for example, the more we confuse all that information with having others “get to know us.” Someone can look through our pictures, read our comments and opinions and start to think they know who we are, but they don’t. They only know what they see and read. Worse, the feeling they may have toward us is one-sided.

This phenomenon is called a parasocial relationship — a relationship in which one person knows much more about the other. This is what happens with celebrities. Because we can read about their public lives in the tabloids and hear about what they are doing on TMZ, we think we know them. But we don’t know anything about who they are. Everyone see’s what they appear to be but few feel what they are

I “friend” a movie star who lived in Toronto. I sent her a message that I was coming to see Toronto and she posted on Facebook that she would like to show me the city and go together. I told her my dates but when I was ready to to go and emailed her she never responded and was nowhere to be found.

A “movie star” who I had many connections with gave me her personal email and said she wanted to keep in touch. I never asked her for it. But when I emailed her she never responded. Months later when she came back after reading how she was planning to have a baby with her boyfriend … she claimed “she missed me” . Two weeks later she was off Facebook again.

In our modern world, however, we are all celebrities and we all live semipublic lives. Others can read about what we’re doing and who we know and what we like. They can start to form bonds with us, but those bonds are one-sided and they are not the basis for real, close friendship. I was not friends with her and nor did I expect her to come through or even see her. The reality is those people are acquaintances — a term we rarely hear anymore.
Although I like the movie ‘Notting Hill’ I have no desire to be a character in it.

I was reminded of this when I ran into an old Hollywood girlfriend in Calif recently

At the time she was the most beautiful woman I had ever see. A Hollywood actress who was constantly at the Playboy mansion. It was like Jessica Rabbit had come to life. I was determined to make her mine. She had told me she had “dated’ George Clooney and Bruce Willis but I was what she wanted and I showered her with gifts and trips. But nothing about her was real as I was to find out including her name. Years later she was still looking for ‘Mr GoodBar” …still looking for a man who would treat her like a princess and no longer a choice for movies roles.

When I asked her of all the men who had come into her life wasn’t there one?. She said she had been engaged 3 times but changed her mind. Now she sits in a bar in LA paying for yesterday, on with pictures from 10-15 yrs ago.

The thought now is if I were a up-and-coming actor, you would try to hook up only with A-List female celebrities. It’s like buying $50 million of free advertising.

There are lots of people who tell me they are my friend. They seem to act like friends, but they aren’t really friends. I don’t, and probably won’t ever, share that kind of deep, strong relationship with them.

I have one business relationship who, when he introduces me to people, introduces me as “my close friend, Every time he does so, it makes me uneasy, because we’re not close friends. I’m not sure we’re even friends. Another professional relationship, almost from the day we met, would tell me, “this is the start of a long and close friendship.” He acted like a friend too. He would send me e-mails to say hi, call to chat, and he’d want to hang out when we were in the same city. But when we couldn’t agree on the terms of a formal business relationship, all of a sudden my “new close friend” stopped calling, stopped e-mailing and no longer wanted to spend time with me.

As my life becomes even more public, I meet lots of people and I form genuine friendships with some, but most are just acquaintances or professional relationships. The problem is that there are lots of people who think they know me. They think they are my friends. Yet friendship is too quixotic to be formed by a decision. It’s a feeling more like love. You can’t decide to be friends with someone. You can’t request it. It just happens.

Facebook is good at connecting people with common interests. We can easily form weak bonds with people online. And those relationships are good and have real value, but strong bonds, trust and deep friendships require physical interaction — and lots of it. I no more believed Rachel McAdams or Anne Hathaway were my friends than I believe I am going to be POPE. I have never met them nor do I expect I will. But unfortunately a lot of people do and that’s what can be painful for a-lot who do live their lives through Hollywood.

But the lesson I learned this week is more of a reminder. I have too often confused the weak bonds I have with people. I know with the strong bonds I have with people who are my friends. When I run the names of the people I call “good friends” through this new filter, I realize that I don’t have as many good friends as I thought. And that’s not a bad thing, because the ones I do have I value even more.

My family member who is a casting agent for the past 30 yrs told me something that still resonates today.
” Everyone wants to ride the limo with you when times are good. But what you want is the friend who will hop on the bus with you and drive when the bus breaks down. Then you will know who your real friends are.” In Hollywood she said ‘Until that happens you will never know who is your real friend. That’s why I don’t envy those who have 1000 friends . I envy those those who have 1-3 good friends because that’s what everyone in this town really wants”

That applies everywhere.


Love is not pretty faces whispering lies in the dark

I was asked to write some words for someone giving a speech on relationships for those still single. This is what I wrote

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision about someone . You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. Its not whispering pretty lies in the dark. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Its like being wrapped like a gift in understanding.

But unfortunately to many of come into a relationship with a check list The allurement that women hold out to men is precisely the allurement that Moby Dick held out to Captain Ahab…they are enormously dangerous and hence enormously fascinating . “She is the most dangerous of playthings” Adam Smith wrote “the game women play is men”

For some women, what is a date, but a job interview that lasts all night. Love is like a game of poker. Some feel if they they want to win their hand then they should be careful not to show their cards before the man shows his. If dating is like shopping then having that approach is like being put on lay away. Its like saying ‘I know i want it but i want to delay taking it home as long as possible”.

I know of a friend who had lost his wife in 2007. Here was a man who at one time was homeless and through his own hands and efforts is multimillionaire. At 45 he doesn’t have to work a day ever again in his life. Most who have met him would never realize that he was a millionaire because he doesn’t live like one. This is a man who once a year pays for a childs medical bills though the Make a Wish Foundation and the funds always come from “unknown donor” . Most would say he’s a good-looking man,smart, well dressed and with a good heart. But most women never knew that to win his heart they had to be confident. He told me is late wife won his heart just by saying.

“I WANT TO KNOW YOU” and he was hooked. No drama… no games…no playing hard to get.

Love and relationships never dies a natural death . It dies because we dont know how to replenish its source It dies of blindness of errors, betrayals, and unrealistic expectations. It dies of illness, wounds, or withering and tarnishing.

This is what he said at her eulogy

Did you know that I tasted heaven? It’s true. I tasted heaven the day we made love and everyday since . And when we kissed you sent me flying, dancing on the clouds while the stars sent down some loving light to shine upon us.
You’re were beautiful person inside and out. You possessed the grace of a dove, soaring into a never-ending shock of blue and downy white. And you have all the kindness and love of an angel bathed in heavenly light.

That’s what you are to me–my very own angel, and I’ll always own a bit of heaven as long as you’re a part of my life . Goodnight my love

May you all find that love in your life that goes on.



Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! ——

Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Heck and Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem

Is the other person in this Relationship Moving Too Fast? If it is you….. Then read on

This is written from a male perspective to a female cousin

Do you make sure that your bed has clean sheets when you head out for a first date? Do you pack an overnight bag for your third date? Do you stock the fridge with his/her favorite snacks and drinks after date #2? These are clear (and hopefully kind of humorous) signs you tend to move things along too quickly when dating someone new.

I get it, you don’t really want to casually date. You want to be in a relationship. The reality is a few dates; stocking your fridge with his favorite beer and having sex do not constitute a relationship. Relationships typically cannot successfully be rushed. They need to grow and evolve. Over time you get to know each other, find out if it is more than just lust and decide together if this is to be a relationship.

So if your tendency is to imagine what your children will look like (Remember that album Kate Hudson’s character created in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?) while you are having dinner together for the second time or you are daydreaming about how your mom will really love her after your first date then please read on. Would YOU like to help you learn how to slow down and give your romance some breathing room and some time to truly develop into the relationship it is meant to be.

Here are some basic quick tips:

Focus less on your expectations of the other person and more on what you bring to the table

Remember that the intense passionate feeling will change over time – this is really okay. This is what can deepen into love.

These tips will take a bit more thought and will require you to consciously slow yourself down:

Identify why it feels like there is such a big hurry. Are you worried he/she will find someone else? Are you just lonely? It is important to find out what is driving this rush and resolve it because it doesn’t have anything to do with this relationship.

He/she is great in every way! Of course it feels that way because you have only been dating for 3 months. Do not, I repeat, do not move in together! 3 months (or 3 weeks) is not long enough to know if you can cohabitate. This is the honeymoon phase. Just enjoy it. Keep your apartment and your piece of mind. Trust me, moving in together at this stage is going to have you headed for disaster.

Be careful about how quickly you say those 3 little (but very powerful) words or make a life commitment. Have you had to handle a crisis together yet? Have you had your first argument yet? How you work through these kinds of life experiences can be very telling. You will begin to sort out if this is lust or love and if you both want to be together for the long haul.

Have you brought a U-haul on your second date? Are you in a hurry to make a relationship out of a couple dates?

If you are anything like that you would love to avoid relationship problems. Unfortunately, no matter how hard we tried relationship problems seemed to hunt us down and attack! Or, did we make relationship mistakes without knowing it?

Moving too fast – In a world where we have instant gratification, people are interested in getting results now! The days of waiting for things appears to be over. However, if you take a good look at several relationship problems, you will notice that moving too fast is at the top of the list.

In your quest to be loved and feel loved you rush into relationships with people that you wouldn’t ordinarily talk too! Is it because you are desperate? No! It is because you are tired of being alone and would rather be with someone than with you.

The sad part is the end result is usually a ton of relationship problems and eventually a broken heart. All of this could have been avoided if you take your time and get to know the person.

Take a look at your past relationships and ask yourself, “Did I move too fast?” You can rush if you want too and make several relationship mistakes, but don’t complain about the outcome.

Believing what you are told – It is common knowledge, amongst men who are habitual cheaters and players, women are prone to believe what men say.

It appears no matter what the man does women tend to hold on to the hope that, “Things will go back to the way it was.” Sorry to bust your bubble but that rarely happens and the end result is usually relationship problems.

The truth is no woman should believe what somone says. Nor should you consider them a liar. What women and men should do is listen to what someone says and see if they do it! Actions must agree with words.

It’s important to keep in mind that while the end result may not be achieved you should see the effort to reach it! For example, if the man says he will help you with finding a job and you see he is sending out your resumes without you asking then his words and actions are aligned to achieve the end result—getting you a job.

You must see both of them (his words and actions) heading in the same direction; otherwise, you can bet you will get hurt and have a lot of relationship problems to deal with.

Living in a fantasy world – As corny and weird as this may sound, millions of people suffer from this. Would you agree with me that you have an image of what your dream person should be like? Would you also agree with me if I said you have played out several scenarios in your head of what it would be like to spend time with that person? What you are doing is living in a fantasy world.

The problem is not the dreaming but when you expect the real world to adapt to your relationship fantasy. Have you ever said to a partner, “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you act the way you should?” There a really good chance you expect this individual to live up to your fantasy.

The truth is very few people can live up to your fantasies! Part of the problem is your expectations are unreal! To you they seem normal but to another person they would consider you a psycho!

Let me give you an example! For years you envisioned the person of your dreams coming home, showering you with hugs and kisses, sweeping you off your feet and having a romantic evening. When they get home, they may be tired, go take a shower, sit down for a few and maybe talk with you.

After a few times of this happening, you begin to get upset with them because your “fantasy” is not being fulfilled. My point is: 1) Your partner is not aware of what you desire, and 2) How in the world do you expect someone to do those things every single day?

And that’s the problem! In your fantasy world, people don’t get tired, people don’t have lives, people don’t work, people just shower you with the things you want and need to keep you happy!

But in the real world it doesn’t work that way!

Not doing your homework – In this case, I am talking about getting to know the person. Yes, I am aware of the “chemistry” thing between people and the feelings of excitement and joy! However, once those fade, and they will, what’s left?

During the initial “lust” period you set aside or overlook the things that could save you from several relationship problems. For example, you are with a guy and when another man looks at you your man flies of the handle and threatens the guy. You think it’s a little overboard but like the attention. Hint: It can lead to physical and verbal abuse.

Another example, you are being showered with gifts but you never asked for them. While you like them it does make you feel a little awkward. Hint: The man is trying to buy your love because he may not be able to show he loves you or likes you in other ways. Consequently, you will feel neglected but have a ton of gifts.

These simple relationship mistakes and oversights can cause serious relationship problems. You can be stuck with a man who is so possessive that he would rather kill you than let you go. Or, you can end up with a man who is successful, yet neglects your simple needs such as giving you a little attention or his time.

If you desire to avoid relationship problems, the best thing you could do is take your time, learn as much as you can about the person and pay attention. Do not write things off as a one-time occurrence. By doing so you are giving the person permission to continue that behavior without knowing it.

Not knowing what you want – Do you know what you want? If so, why aren’t you happy? The truth is you have no idea what you want or need! You can sit there and disagree with me if you like but it’s true! Let me prove it to you.

Look at your life and ask yourself, “Am I where I want to be?” I can bet the answer is, “No!” So, how did you get where you are today? Simple! By not knowing what you wanted!

Look, I’m not saying you set out to be where you are today on purpose. You made a few decisions based on what you thought you wanted and things did not work out.

So, what did you do? You kept making decisions without knowing what you really wanted, which caused relationship problems. Then you get upset with the world because things didn’t work out the way you planned it.

Remember above I talked about living in a fantasy world. Well, many of your wants are based in a fantasy world. It’s not until you get rid of them that you begin to realize where you made your relationship mistakes.

Here’s a simple test! If you have done what you felt were the best things for you and your life is not the way you thought it would be then you are doing something that is not working for you! Notice I didn’t say it was wrong; it’s just not working for you!

Now you can better understand why you have relationship problems and suffer from relationship mistakes.

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired then change what you want and stop repeating the same relationship mistakes and suffering from relationship problems over and over again! What do you have to lose?

President John F. Kennedy New York City November 8, 1963

I want to speak tonight very briefly, however, about the Family of Man beyond the United States. Just as the Family of Man is not limited to a single race or religion, neither can it be limited to a single city or country. The Family of Man is more than 3 billion strong. It lives in more than 100 nations. Most of its members are not white. Most of them are not Christians. Most of them know nothing about free enterprise or due process of law or the Australian ballot.

If our society is to promote the Family of Man, let us realize the magnitude of our task. This is a sobering assignment. For the Family of Man in the world of today is not faring very well.

The members of a family should be at peace with one another, but they are not. And the hostilities are not confined to the great powers of the East and the West. On the contrary, the United States and the Soviet Union, each fully aware of their mutually destructive powers and their worldwide responsibilities and obligations, have on occasion sought to introduce a greater note of caution in their approach to areas of conflict.


As I said recently at the United Nations, even little wars are dangerous in this nuclear world. The long labor of peace is an under taking for every nation, large and small, for every member of the Family of Man. “In this effort none of us can remain unaligned. To this goal none can be uncommitted.” If the Family of Man cannot achieve greater unity and harmony, the very planet which serves as its home may find its future in peril.

But there are other troubles besetting the human family. Many of its members live in poverty and misery and despair. More than one out of three, according to the FAO, suffers from malnutrition or under-nutrition or both-while more than one in ten live “below the breadline.” Two out of every five adults on this planet are, according to UNESCO, illiterate. One out of eight suffers from trachoma or lives in an area where malaria is still a clear and present danger. Ten million-nearly as many men, women, and children as inhabit this city and Los Angeles combined-still suffer from leprosy; and countless others suffer from yaws or tuberculosis or intestinal parasites.

For the blessings of life have not been distributed evenly to the Family of Man. Life expectancy in this most fortunate of nations has reached the Biblical 3 score years and 10; but in the less developed nations of Africa, Asia, and Latin America, the overwhelming majority of infants cannot expect to live even 2 score years and 5. In those vast continents, more than half of the children of primary school age are not in school. More than half the families live in substandard dwellings. More than half the people live on less than $100 a year. Two out of every three adults are illiterate.

The Family of Man can survive differences of race and religion. Contrary to the assertions of Mr. Khrushchev, it can accept differences of ideology, politics, and economics. But it cannot survive, in the form in which we know it, a nuclear war-and neither can it long endure the growing gulf between the rich and the poor.

The rich must help the poor. The industrialized nations must help the developing nations. And the United States, along with its allies, must do better-not worse-by its foreign aid program, which is now being subjected to such intense debate in the Senate of the United States.


Nearly two years ago my wife and I visited Bogotá, Colombia, where a vast new Alliance for Progress housing project was just getting under way. Earlier this year I received a letter from the first resident of this 1200 new home development. “Now,” he wrote, “we have dignity and liberty.”

Dignity and liberty-these words are the foundation, as they have been since ’47, of the mutual security program. For the dignity and liberty of all free men, of a world of diversity where the balance of power is clearly on the side of free nations, is essential to the security of the United States. And to weaken and water down the pending program, to confuse and confine its flexibility with rigid restrictions and rejections, will not only harm our economy, it will hamper our security. It will waste our present investment and it will, above all, forfeit our obligation to our fellow man, obligations that stem from our wealth and strength, from our devotion to freedom and from our membership in the Family of Man.


Some say that they are tiring of this task, or tired of world problems and their complexities, or tired of hearing those who receive our aid disagree with us. But are we tired of living in a free world? Do we expect that world overnight to be like the United States? Are we going to stop now merely because we have not produced complete success?

I do not believe our adversaries are tired and I cannot believe that the United States of America in 1963 is fatigued.

Surely the Americans of the 1960s can do half as well as the Americans of the 1950s. Surely we are not going to throw away our hopes and means for peaceful progress in an outburst of irritation and frustration. I do not want it said of us what T. S. Eliot said of others some years ago: “These were a decent people. Their only monument: the asphalt road and a thousand lost golf balls.” I think we can do better than that.

My fellow Americans, I hope we will be guided by our interests. I hope we will recognize that the struggle is by no means over; that it is essential that we not only maintain our effort, but that we persevere; that we not only endure, in Mr. Faulkner’s words, but also prevail. It is essential, in short, that the word go forth from the United States to all who are concerned about the future of the Family of Man; that we are not weary in well-doing. And we shall, I am confident, if we maintain the pace, we shall in due season reap the kind of world we deserve and deserve the kind of world we will have.

Thank you.

Dare to be great!!!!! Its the only way

I wish that I could take you all back to the future and do more than just show you a picture. I wish I could show you what a beautiful world we will all live .

I honestly don’t know fear but what I do know is that our attitude is the catalyst to all events around us. I also know that I personally, do not know the future which to me has unlimited possibilities of hope, joy and a better world.

The future is not set. You have the ability to choose your reactions.

Fear is a prayer for the things we don’t want and I’m certain you want a bright future with budding promises of hope, we all do… Never take away another man’s hope unless you have the power to alleviate there pain.


When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.
When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.
When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.
When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.
When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.
When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.
When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.
When times are tough, dare to be tougher.
When love hurts you, dare to love again.
When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.
When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.
When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.
When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.
When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.
When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.
Dare to be the best you can

At all times, Dare to be GREAT

A Remade Wizard of Oz for 2011 using Twitter and Facebook and an allstar cast of Hollywood stars

10 friends are going to Oz with you:
Wicked Witch of Prada: Meryl Streep
Cowardly Lion:Paul GIAMATTI
Representing the Lollipop Guild: Hugh Jackson
Good Witch of the North: Rachel McAdams
Tin Man: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Winged Monkeys: paparazzi
Scarecrow: Kanau Reeves
Toto: Emma Roberts
Aunty Em: Julia Roberts
Dorthy: Anne Hathaway
The Great and Powerful OZ: The Knome King; Tom Cruise

Centuries ago, when Hollywood was ruled by a wicked queen of Prada, Glinda the good witch of the north placed the Forbidden Prada Purse on the grounds of the Royal Palace of Tom Cruise. He and all his subjects drank the magic potion in it, and afterward grew wise together and thus built the The Emerald City of Hollywood AKA: CruiseTown

Dorothy Facebook’s Glinda on her first visit to CruiseTown to ask for her help in returning to Brooklyn. The Good Witch told her of the charm of the purse and the mystic powers of the Catwoman. But since she was from Canada and her work visa ran out she couldn’t accompany her. Her price to help Dorothy. She wanted to visit the Willie Wonka factory run now by an obviously Mad Johnny Depp.

Seems Johnny took the Red Pill and found out just how deep the Rabbit hole went and spends his days making hats. So she took the Golden Ticket from Dorothy and commanded the Winged Monkeys to carry the Scarecrow on the RedEye back to the Matrix the Cowardly Lion back to the forest where he was made king, the Tinman to Sacramento to rule as Emperor. She then gave a camara to all the Winged Monkeys, thereby freeing them to start the destruction of Cruise town

When the Wizard was deposed as King of Cruisetown, Glinda declined to help him regain the throne. Instead she initiated a search for the rightful ruler, Princess Katie the daughter of Toledo. She eventually learned that the Wizard had kidnapped Katie and taken her to the tower to be hidden away.

When Dorothy visited the Land of Cruise a second time, Glinda advised against her using the Princess Diaries to return home, suggesting that it would be lost forever like the time she had used before at a place called Saturday Night

Following the Wizard’s return to Oz, Glinda took it upon herself to instruct Mr Anderson (Scarecrow) in the magical arts of martial, and turn him into a real Wizard.

After reading in her Great Book of Brokeback about the Nome King’s attempt to reconquer Cruisetown, Glinda placed a spell on his career move to make him invisible to outsiders. It was called “Operation Mission Impossible”

When Dorothy went to the tribes of the Skeezers and the Flatheads on the Island of Brooklyn and was trapped in the underwater island of the Skeezers, Glinda assembled a group of counselors through Twitter to help bring the underwater island back above water thus saving Dorothy for her meeting with the Catwoman

Now the Wicked Witch had only one eye, but it was as powerful as a telescope, and could see everywhere. She always carried an umbrella with her, and made a point to avoid contact with water. It was said that she was so wicked, the blood in her had dried up many years ago.

Long ago, the Wicked Witch conquered the CruiseTown with the help of the Winged Monkeys and Roger Rabbit. She was a tyrannical ruler and made Oscar her slave. Once the Great Oz tried to recapture the Country, but with the help of the Winged Monkeys, she was able to fight him off.

The Winged Monkeys were once a free people, living in the forests of Los Angeles . They were carefree, but rather mischievous. One day the King of the Winged Monkeys, as a prank, tossed a richly dressed man into a river, ruining his costume of silk and velvet. The man, whose name was TMZ, was good natured enough, but his fiancée, a sorceress named US was furious, and punished the Winged Monkeys by making them the slaves to the Oscar, who ever ruled Cruisetown and her husband, the now feared TMZ.

After she had ruled for many years, the The nome King sent Dorothy and her companions to destroy the Witch. In self-defense, she sent every creäture she commanded:

First she used the whistle around her neck to command Kate Hudson to kill Dorothy and her friends. Scarecrow and Tin saw them coming and the Tinman in a idea of genius booked the Plaza so she couldn’t get into the building

Then and summoned the Lollipop Guild: 1000 Hugh Jackman to peck out the eyes of Dorothy and her friends. But they were so excited to see Dorothy that they all started singing Tom Jones “Shes a Lady”
Angered, the Wicked Witch blew her whistle three times and screamed “This is Sparta’. When told she wasn’t in that movie, She summoned a battalion of Angry Birds to sting them to death. While Dorothy, Toto, and the Cowardly Lion were covered in Scarecrow’s straw, the birds all died when the Scarecrow put up his hand and they all fell to the ground.

Then she sent a troop of Winged Monkey slaves wielding 8mm camaras to kill the group like a flash mob. But not all of them came because they didn’t have ATT 4G Phones so they didn’t get the message in time on Twitter Thus they were scared away by the Cowardly Lion as he grabbed all the camara’s and ripped out the film. Seems the Wicked Witch knew nothing about Digital.

With all avenues failed the Witch tried to steal the powerful Silver purse from Dorothy She became so angry that she threw a bucket of water on the Witch, which melted her into a brown, shapeless mass putting an end to her wickedness. As she was melting like a liquid terminator she all to easily morphed into different people including to everyone’s shock, ‘ The nome King; Tom Cruise.

With all the Rulers gone, Dorothy didn’t know what to do. Suddenly her Iphone rang. It was the Good Witch from the North. It seems she was still stuck in customs.

It appeared that she had got updated through her twitter account “Dorothy you have the power to meet the Catwoman all along” she said Its in you Just click your Air Jordans 3 times and say ‘ I believe I can FLY…I believe I can touch the sky”.

Dorothy immediately dropped her phone and closed her eyes….. I believe I can FLY…I believe I can touch the sky”. I believe I can FLY…I believe I can touch the sky”. I believe I can FLY…I believe I can touch the sky”. Over and over. Suddenly she opened her eyes and couldn’t believe her eyes.

She was back in Brooklyn after all …In the mirror….She was the Catwoman the whole time. Dorothy smiled “gotta call aunty on this one”

The end