Making a Movie… A journal Starts

Over the next couple of months, I plan to be in pre-production and production on my project. Its the story of the rescue of 10 women who were kidnapped in Germany during the initial stages of the Iraq war, sent to Iraq and held for ransom. What made this story was that it was a lone US Soldier who went AWOL to save his pregnant wife and he ended up saving 8 of them. But for political reasons during the time of Jessica Lynch, Pat Tillman and an election, two governments tried to hide the event and court martial this soldier. The story is true,

I thought it might be interesting for me, as well as film lovers, to journal the exploits of this project. Ill try to do this as much as I can, and perhaps you can get a glimpse into the process of how a movie gets made.

Last month we officially secured our side of the financing. I wont give details, but we put a chunk of money into an account, combining investments from a few different people including our company. There is a financing group that loves our project and has verbally committed to bankrolling the picture assuming that they can verify our funds. So they get their stuff together to put up the rest of the money and green-light the movie. That has happened Of course, we all agreed on all the terms and the contracts and all that, and that took some time, but we,re moving along.

Ironically, there’s another company that is showing the same interest. I met with these guys a couple months ago, and they said they were in, but they didn’t get back to me with anything official. The group from the above paragraph came in out of the blue, so I hit the ground running with them. Its bizarre that I might actually get to a place where I’m turning money down.

Here’s how this current group came about, A producer from Fox, whose been trying to get some projects set up heard the story through a family member who has been in Hollywood casting movies since the 70″s. We became buddies through our discussions about each others projects, and he’s always tried to get it in the hands of various people, but nothing has come of it. We don’t have a deal or anything, hes just been doing what he can on the side. Anyhow, a few months ago his aunt was in a small town in Missouri and struck up a conversation with a stranger, who told her about all the developments that were taking place in this town. For some reason, he mentioned a movie studio and gave his aunt a brochure. His aunt then passed it on to my buddy, who decided to contact this production facility for the heck of it.

He cold-called them and said basically, I know you guys are a production facility and are’nt investors, but I’ve got a cool project that should be shot in the southwest, and I’m wondering if you know of any money guys who are shooting some films at your place. The guy gave him contact info for some guys, he got a hold of them, sent them the script, and voila..they loved it, one of the producers grew up near where the story took place, and they wanted to make it. They believe it can be developed into an Oscar. High praise indeed but that is far off.

Unless these guys are liars or stupid, neither of which appears to be the case, they’ve got the money and are on board. All they needed was proof from us that we can guarantee some funds as well. That was done.

Funny how God works, assuming He cares about my career and the movie business and actually has a hand in all this. Of course, I know He cares about my career, but sometimes I think we think Hes devoting more time to our vain pursuits than he actually is. Either way, I’ll take it and give Him credit for anything good that happens.

So right now I’m preparing to make this movie as everything gets in order. I need to get the script in great shape before its sent to actors, so I’m doing some last minute adjustments.

One common note I’m getting from a few people is that there’s a problem in the first act. This story is about a man who goes from being a Highly decorated soldier in his unit to a man who turns into Bruce Willis in Die HARD. The thrust of the story is in the change he has to brings to himself and dealing with people in this depressed, backwards, deep mountain region, but we also need to take some time to show how he transformed. Not an easy task, because I have to do it in 20-25 pages so we get to the meat of the story quick enough.

Our trick is to try to show what would lead him to be desperate to make such a big change in his life. That’s easy to talk about. He was sad, depressed,angry. He felt like his govt was going to let his wife die because it was an election. He was meant to be there, but that’s not easy to portray on screen. We’ve got plenty of moments and incidents in the script that cause him to be frustrated and angry about how insane and violent the Iraq region is, but we need moments of inner turmoil for him as well; private moments that show how dark he had to become and down he is.

If he failed or was captured, he knew not only would his wife would die, he would be killed also. So that’s what I’m working on right now, trying to find those moments that are cinematic.

The good news is the majority of people really like the script a lot. But its always easier when someone doesn’t like something you’ve done but they can’t give good reasons why. That said, I think its more important to seek out people who disagree with you or don’t like something you’re creating than to surround yourself with unconditionally supportive people. Id rather hear bad things now, while I can still correct them, then read them in the paper from a critic after the movies out. So we will see.

1. An idea
Who has it? Could be a writer a director or someone like you!

2. The pitch
A studio has to be convinced that the film is worth making. Someone has to talk them in to it. To get the idea across it will normally be developed into a summary of how the film will go.

3. The studio
They put together the team to make the movie. Once a director has been picked they find actors, and the studio also finds the money. Sometimes a studio needs to find investors to raise enough cash.

4. Production
The location scouts must find the places to film the movie, then it’s ready to be made. It is not filmed in the order you see it on screen. The director has a storyboard and what they film first depends on which actors and locations are available.

5. Post-production
The raw filming (called rushes) is edited in this stage. The music is added and sometimes actors re-record lines that weren’t clear enough.

Editing is mostly done on computers. In the past, film was actually cut into bits and stuck back together – movie people still say an edited film has been ‘cut’.

6. Release
The film is sent out to cinemas ready for you to see it.

All right That’s enough for now


Dating a Hollywood Star , Jennifer Aniston, Kelsey Grammer and Fantasy Women

Yesterday I ran into the one Hollywood actress at the airport  on her way to Vegas who I probably would willingly be Homeless if It meant a chance to date her. She has been a fantasy for a lot of men since the mid 90’s. She was smaller than I thought, and much more beautiful in person than I imagined. What made it more fascinating was that she was the nicest person she could be. I talked to for almost 2 hrs and you never got the impression it was about “being a Star” or being her and the burden of it all

When I was growing up I didn’t have multiple women when I was in high school or college. I was a diligent student, kind of nerdy, shy and in love with this tall blond. I could have been Steve Corell in The “40 yr old Virgin if events were different. I had potential of a truck driver if I applied myself. In fact my life was like a Lifetime movie about someone battling a rare disease. Just when you thought I would survive and get the Girl, I would have a freak accident, out would come the proverbial banana peel and I would slip and crack my head open on the one rock in the beautiful field of grass.

But something magical happened years later. Success and Travel came my way and before I knew it “unapproachable woman” were no longer being used in my language.

It didn’t take long to understand that a new kind of woman was interested in me, the sort of woman who in the past had stirred my insecurity. It was like a kid finding Batman’s belt in the lost and found. No point in giving it back until you’ve tried all your new powers. But you forgot to ask, will I be able to stop once I’ve tasted these powers?

Superficially,  the new bar for women that i was attracted to was set based on the physical: some sort of exterior beauty, along with fame, sophistication, wild-child possibility, flirtation with the dark side.

When you climb the ladder, your social confidence explodes. You receive the sort of attention you never did when you were younger. It is addictive, and when you are in it, there seems to be no end in sight. The attention increases tenfold when you are dating in LA,   You can become a star also if the woman you are dating is beautiful

But that life isn’t rooted in good practices; it’s more like, “flash your badge and they will come.” Your confidence is based on a pack mentality, strong in numbers. You can push aside the inconvenience of having to start a conversation — just by being in the V.I.P. section , the conversation is started for you. If you have a well-connected friend or an entourage to find you a companion, you might not need conversation at all. But you are not the “star”.  Your existence is based on her beauty. However your ego can’t tell the difference

The above dynamic grows exponentially, and before you can blink, your bad relationship habits are written and you become everything you complain about. It is amazing how easy it is, if you are not careful and grounded, to start seeing women/others as another accessory in your life. Its amazing also how you can look past it and not see the reflection in the mirror that caused the problem.

Reducing a relationship to time, money and X is usually a bad way to start. Relationships can get crafted around their whims. The spiritual significance of an enduring commitment falls by the wayside, giving way to limits and rules defined by the ego.

Although it doesn’t have to be this way, relationships can become part of the world of ego and illusions. No one is right for you, or good enough. Everyone is disposable. Witness the marrying up …dating down, adventures of Tiger Woods, Arnold and  Rep Wiener. You feel superior.

I was reminded of this when I ran into an old Hollywood girlfriend in Calif last month.

At the time she was the most beautiful woman I had ever see. A Hollywood actress who was constantly at the Playboy mansion .  It was like Jessica Rabbit had come to life. I was determined to make her mine. She had told me she had “dated’ George Clooney and Bruce Willis but I was what she wanted and I showered her with gifts and trips. But nothing about her was real as I was to find out, including her name. Years later she was still looking for ‘Mr GoodBar” …still looking for a man who would treat her like a princess and no longer a choice for movies roles.

When I asked her of all the men who had come into her life wasn’t there one ?. She said she had been engaged 6 times but changed her mind. 12 yrs later she now sits in a bar in LA paying for yesterday, on with pictures from 10-15 yrs ago.

The thought now is if you were a up-and-coming actor, you would try to hook up only with A-List female celebrities. It’s like buying $50 million of free advertising. Kris Humphreys was a genius dating Kim K. Oh, wait, he’s not an actor. Scratch that. Plus she married that Elf.

So lets say you’re Justin Theroux dating Jennifer Aniston or Adam Shulman when he was dating Anne Hathaway. Men who seem to have no prospects of a career other than being a photo back round for their girlfriend. (Friends with Benefits) and the other known more for stealing a mural in NYC in 2010 and carrying Anne Hathaways bags.

For example in seven years Jennifer Anniston has made, 11 movies, eight clunkers, one above-average (for her) performance and only two solid box-office successes. Two for 11? Certainly nothing to put her on par with Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts or Reese Witherspoon. The other “Friends” stars faded into B- and C-list obscurity (or in Matt LeBlanc’s case, F-list), so why didn’t she?

The short answer: Because of the Angelina/Brad/Jennifer love triangle, which is like Brett Favre’s comeback/retirement/comeback routine multiplied by 10, but has been cruising along for twice as long. The saga evolved in various forms: the betrayal itself; the aftermath, when Anniston licked her wounds as “Brangelina” took off; her futile search for a bounce-back boyfriend; the Brangelina clan expanding; everyone feeling worse and worse for Aniston, with her finally admitting that she was still bummed out; the Brangelina clan expanding again; Aniston’s weird dalliance with the much younger John Mayer, which ended when he talked out of school about her; the Brangelina clan expanding again; Aniston approaching her 40th birthday and wanting a baby; the Brangelina clan producing twins; Aniston hitting 40 with no baby or husband; Aniston passing 40 with no baby or husband; and now we’re here.

People can’t get enough of this stuff. Us Weekly throws Aniston on its cover every few weeks — and if they can work Angelina into the split-cover, even better — just because Aniston resonates with women like no other celebrity. No matter how wealthy or famous or good-looking she is, the nuts and bolts of Aniston’s “tragic” story could have happened to anyone: She lost her scummy husband to a seductive co-worker. Maybe it was the worst thing that ever happened to her personally, but professionally? Godsend. She became America’s adorable little victim for seven years. People don’t read Us Weekly to see pictures of happily married couples. They read for drama. Tragedy. Betrayal. Acrimony. They read to see someone’s life spinning out of control, or to compare two people wearing the same dress, or to see someone taking out the garbage who’s “just like us.”

Aniston’s life resonates with that demographic better than anyone. Now she’s 45, still hunting for a man, her ovaries rumbling like Earl Campbell, but we’re all a little confused because … I mean, how could Jennifer Aniston, of all people, not find a man? How could someone that attractive need a friend to set her up on dates? What the hell is going on here? Is she secretly super-annoying? Is she terrible in bed? . Are her standards simply too high? Does she still pine for Pitt and any potential mate can sense it?

You’re not going to believe this, but I have a theory …

I think it’s all a farce. I think she gravitates toward guys who could never be a potential husband (seriously, John Mayer?) and FWBs (friends with benefits) over actually finding herself the right match. And here’s why: The longer this drags on, the longer she stays on the A list. Staying single, ending up with the wrong guys, pining for a baby but never having one … career move, career move, career move. Keeps her on magazine covers. Keeps people saying “I feel bad for Aniston, Brangelina really screwed her over; her life’s never been the same.” Keeps a built-in publicity buzz for every crappy movie she promotes. Really, it’s genius.

Aniston transferred that dynamic to the Hollywood world. Say she remarried in 2006 to one of those Rande Gerber-type rich guys who owns cool bars that are in hip hotels. And let’s say they had a kid in 2008. And another one this year. By 2010, would anyone care about Jennifer Aniston? NO!!!!!!!! Only if she was making good movies. Which, obviously, she doesn’t want to do. She’s happy being a likable celebrity with decent comic timing who plays herself in every movie (with only her hairstyle and co-star changing). I think that’s intentional, too. She could have taken more acting chances — remember how good she was in “Office Space,” or as the sexually frustrated wife in “She’s The One” — but seems much more interested in protecting her brand. You can’t differentiate between Aniston when she’s being interviewed, acting in a movie or staring at you on a magazine cover anymore. It’s all the same. That’s the way she wants it.

I say she’s much smarter than we think. Unlike with sports, she knows it’s better for her career if she never gets that ring. She will continue dating co-stars, bad-boy musicians and people with lousy hair for the foreseeable future. You watch. So feel sorry Justin but don’t feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston. She’s laughing all the way to the bank.

My fantasy Hollywood woman I met is over 40. (It’s not Anniston).

I could have easily been like any other figure who fell for the little guy with the pitchfork on his shoulder who tells you, “It’s all good, go one will know,…use who ever you can to get what you want… you can get away with it.” Don’t worry about tomorrow”.  The woman are disposable.   Look at Jermaine Jackson and his 23 year old girlfirend,   Look at Kelsey Grammar , who stated in a magazine that he knew he was making a mistake all three time he married prior .   Each time he moved on to a younger woman  But each time you do that that , the  little guy on the Hollywood shoulder doesn’t tell you that in the real world, you don’t get away with it because even when you are the only one who knows, that is enough to destroy you. It just will happen from the inside out.

This Thanksgiving save a vegetable. Won’t you join us? Join PETP Today!

Right now, someone is sitting in a songwriting session in Atlanta writing one of your favorite songs. In a studio across town, someone is recording another song, and this one too will be one of your favorites. The producer just suggested a change in the bridge and the musicians had to go back and re-record the track. You will never hear the original version – the version the songwriter liked best.

But that’s not what I’m writing about tonight. That’s all I had on the above subject and knew it wasn’t worth it, so I just piggybacked onto this about vegetable torture.

Let’s think for a moment about all the horrible things vegetables will be  exposed to this Thanksgiving . Every time you hear the word vegetable from now on, think of them as ground kittens. The life of a vegetable (ground kitten) in modern times is one of tumult, torture, and testicle-busting suckiness (had to get three ‘T words’ in a row. Testicle-busting was the best I could do.)

They’re yanked out of the ground or clipped from their trees, bushes, or vines, and placed immediately into dark cardboard boxes. Spanish is the first language they are exposed to, so they are confused by your English as you feel them up at the grocery store. Squeeze ’em a little. Throw them back. But even getting thrown back is better than what happens to you if you’re selected. Most of the time your life is shortened quickly. Sometimes you end up rotting away, a slow and painful death, inside the produce drawer of the fridge. Some of their fellow inmates have left in body bags, their own bodies having liquefied into ghastly soup. Those who weren’t forgotten end up on the chopping block, usually losing a part of themselves to a sharp knife. Some are pulverized beyond recognition. Some are even julienned.

Then into the hot oven or skillet. But even that is not as bad as the pure evil emanating from the microwave. Those unfortunate enough to end up in the microwave have the most horrific death of all, especially if they’re rotating. Basically their brains begin to warp and right before they die, they’re all convinced that they’re David Hasselhoff.

You can stop this abuse by joining the PETP. People for the Ethical Treatment of Produce. I know some of you jokers out there are going to say People who Eat Tasty Vegetables, or some such nonsense. Ha Ha. LOL. Very funny. If you’re a fourth grader. Go ahead. Make fun. Vegetables are being tortured around you every day and you obviously don’t give a rat’s ass. As a matter of fact, some of you have vegetables on your breath right now!

To those of you with a heart, who have morals and character – if you won’t join us, the VT (veggie torture) will go on and on, unabated for generations. For $25 a month, join the Stop the Veggie Torture Club sponsored by the PETP. You’ll get a T- shirt with our slogan, a baseball cap that looks like a tomato, and year’s supply of Ralwus’ Delicious Dirt Brownie Mix. Most of the folks in PETP are in PETA, and there are very few things for them to eat anymore. Dirt is actually pretty tasty with a little salt. Won’t you join us?

Join PETP Today!

My search for Miss Vancouver and how I became Lord of the Idiots

nochancepappy webblog

I started to have this crush on this woman from Vancouver Washington

She was a beautiful woman and I was content to have a silent crush on on But Like all the fella’s of the day … I wanted to meet her. Looking back in at some old pictures of myself trying to date the ladies… I was going to have difficulty. The kids were scared …women were scared In fact all of NY was. Here I was in the beginning of my quest.

Obviously it would be a massive MASSIVE quest …Here is what I mean

Now I needed to get in shape, to get strong, because no one was gonna date the fat kid … I almost failed but I wasn’t going to give up the dream I wasn’t going to quit

But here I am at on my rehearsal date . Obviously I still needed a…

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Oh MY GOD !!!!! My Uniondale NY High School Reunion is nextyear!!!!! A letter to myself

The other day I received a letter that gave me pause. An invitation to my high school class reunion.”

“What’s that?”

“A party where you hang out with all the people you went to high school with.”

My daughter got excited. Parties still meant ice cream and pizza to her.

“Are you going?!”

“Good lord, no.”

“Why not?

“Well, baby, I can think of at least some reasons off the top of my head. Do I have to pay you to tell you the story ?”


“Hmm. Well, I know someone who wont.”

My daughter then went off to play with some toys. Or cry. I’m not sure.

Now in truth, there are plenty of people I went to old high school with that I have nothing against or want to see. There was even a bunch I liked. If I were to meet them in an elevator or at a business meeting or hanging out on a park bench, I’d be perfectly happy to catch up. But that’s just not incentive enough. Especially since one of those people could send me a message saying, “Hey, let’s grab a beer and catch up,” and then I could totally go do that without seeing douche bags like Christopher Vitagliano at the same time. How am I gonna hear about my old friend’s home heating business or precocious triplets when Vitagliano, who’s probably still spiking what’s left of his hair, is like two seats over making the waitress incredibly uncomfortable.

The problem in HS was that I was more like this in High School than anything else

High School Girlfriend ? Well, actually, part of me really does want to see you again. Y’know, just to assure you that I totally know what I’m doing sexually these days. Like when I have sex now, orgasms are actually involved. But I think it would be more awkward than cathartic. Pretty soon, old resentments would arise, and I’d have to confess that I actually faked my orgasms. (Guys can do that with condoms, unless, I guess, there’s a vigilant post-coital prophylactic inspection.) And then you’ll feel bad even though you shouldn’t because seriously what guy can finish over the sounds of “Ow, stop. No. Are you doing that right?” I keep seeing this image in my head too

So yeah, best not to see you.

High School English Teacher: Sure it was hot having pretend sex with you, when I was 17 and you were a MILFy 38 — but it was all in my mind. Seeing you now would just be unseemly. Would you ask me to escort you to the annex for old time’s sake? Will you be wearing some sort of body stocking and seek assistance from Industrial Light and Magic to reclaim your former glory? Or will you diss me completely to pursue the teenage son of some former student who brought his kids when the sitter got sick at the last minute? It’s hard to say, but I don’t want to be around for any of it.

I went to school during the height of disco/funk and as such, I was very fortunate to be a young, long-haired man during rock’s last great death rattle. But my teen years were filled with some of the worst music of any generation. To ease the pain, I disappeared into the 50’s and 60’s: Pink Floyd. Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, Jethro Tull, and Elvis Costello — painfully aware that now it was great. My classmates occasionally enjoyed the old stuff too, provided it was Billy Joel or Billy Joel. It was Long Island. Liking Billy Joel was the law. And while I’m sure Joel’s “I’Love you just the way your are ” will be heard at the reunion I’m guessing the music committee will also be filling the dance list with the likes of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” and Roxette’s “The Look.” I’m not dancing to that. I’m not listening to that. I might bust a move to Frank Sinatra, Sammy or Donna Summer but that’s it.

There’s was only one thing that could get me to go to my high school reunion, and it’s an ideal that can never be achieved. My initial thoughts were that before I could go, I would need to reach a level of success that would be absolutely devastating to everyone there I hated. But what would that be? Money? A trophy wife? Fame? It would have to be something objectively awesome. Like Bill Gates awesome. Brad Pitt showing up with Angelina after having just won an Oscar awesome.

But the more I thought about it, I realized that short of being named the All-Powerful Master of Space and Time there was no level of accomplishment that would be enough because the measure of success is a personal one. Everyone wants different things from life. A house, kids, a nice car, a private business, extreme wealth, creativity, peace and quiet, fulfilling charitable acts, hot deviant sex, lots of friends, calm seclusion, deep roots, constant travel.

I suppose someone who deems their own life a failure would not be likely to display it for their enemies, but that does not sum up the existence of those avoiding their reunions. There are content people with no desire to be judged by someone else’s standards. People who don’t want to explain to the Christopher Vitaglianos that they shouldn’t have to explain why they don’t have kids or why they have so many. Who don’t trust the Vitaglianos’ determination of what the right number of kids is. Or the right kind of car to drive. And if you already found yourself one step out of sync with your peers’ values and aspirations as a teenager, how much greater will the ensuing years of obligations and taxes deepen that divide?

To put it in my terms: Life for me has been a journey to a place where the people get my jokes and make me laugh. Each year, I keep getting closer. Going to a reunion wouldn’t necessarily take me in the opposite direction, but it’s a detour I don’t need. I’m trying to make some time here but I guess I will go JUST SO I CAN HEAR Carolyn Collins say “Hey Big Head” You THINK I am joking ?. Here is what I looked like in HS

Christopher Vitagliano

Seriously, screw that guy.

-Author’s note. Occasionally, writers do a thing where they write something that is not true. To that end, please be advised that Christopher Vitagliano is not a real person or based on any one person. I also didn’t refuse to talk to my daughter and make her cry.

Things I am thinking about that make me wonder why I am even thinking about it

Take a look at these 45 items and see if you find yourself relating

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
4. That’s enough, Nickelback.
5. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
6. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
7. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message board or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
8. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
9. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
10. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
11. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
12. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
13. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I trying to finish a text.
14. Was learning cursive really necessary?
15. LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
17. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
18. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
20. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)…ummm…Goonies”
21. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
22. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
23. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
24. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
25. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
26. Bad decisions make good stories.
27. Whenever I’m Facebook and I find out that their profile is public I feel like there will be somebody acting like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
28. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, people get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem.
29. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
30. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
31. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
32. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
33. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
34. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
35. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
36. When I meet a new person, I’m terrified of mentioning something they haven’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
37. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
38. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
39. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
40. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
41. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
42 Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
43. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
44. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
45 The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food.

Good things come to those who wait but only whats left by those who hustle . Abe Lincoln

Once, I heard a non-hustler say, “I can’t live on the money my company pays me.” This person felt his company owed him enough money to meet the standard of living he had set for himself.

Another time, a non-hustler said to me, “No one paid for my college, so I didn’t get to go.” This non-hustler took no responsibility for making his own way through college, believing it was his parents’ obligation to foot the bill. Like most non-hustlers, these two had a strong sense of entitlement.

Hustlers, on the other hand, know no one owes them anything. They believe they can have anything they desire by doing the work necessary to obtain it, whether it’s a material possession or something more important, such as a meaningful relationship, personal growth and a contribution to their communities. Because they don’t feel entitled, hustlers do the work.

Because hustlers do not feel a sense of entitlement, they don’t wait around for someone to pay them what they’re worth. Hustlers don’t resent their bosses or companies for not paying them more. Instead, they make their contribution, take on responsibility and hold themselves accountable for producing greater results.

For truly great success, you must know what it is you need to do. No one else can show you…

The non-hustler becomes resentful if he doesn’t receive more money. He gets angry and stews, looking around for others to validate his conviction that he is owed something.

Hustlers don’t feel that anything they lack is something they’re due. They don’t believe it’s anyone else’s responsibility to educate them. They don’t miss the trust funds they were never given. Hustlers don’t blame any past deprivation for their current circumstances. To the hustler, the lack of something he desires is simply fuel for his passion to go out and get it.

No one owes you anything—not your parents, your government, your school system, your society, your employer. Believing this will liberate you from the prison of entitlement and empower you to act on your own behalf.

If you want to be successful, you must observe this one important rule: Let no one ever tell you what your paycheck should be.

If someone has to tell you what your goals are, then the only goals you’ll have are someone else’s.
If someone has to tell you what your major responsibilities are, then you aren’t doing enough to be as successful as you could be.
If someone has to remind you what you need to do, you’re likely failing yourself.
If someone has to tell you what to do, then you’re squandering the gift of being human and wasting your initiative, resourcefulness, creativity and determination.

If you work for someone else, develop your own goals and define what success means beyond what your company needs you to do. Seek out new responsibilities, take it upon yourself to find out what needs to be done and do it. Be so proactive that no one will ever dare tell you what to do. Do all these things and you will soon find yourself in a leadership role.

If you want to be an entrepreneur, own your own company and do your own thing, there won’t be anyone there to tell you what to do. Until you develop the ability to do what is necessary without being told, you aren’t ready to strike out on your own. Until you are willing to do what must be done—even when you absolutely don’t want to do it—you’ll never reach the level of success of which you are capable.

Would you like to know the secret to success? It’s taking 100 percent responsibility for everything you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings—everything! This is not easy to do.

In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside ourselves for the parts of our lives we don’t like. We tend to blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, our co-workers, our clients, our spouses, the weather, the economy, our astrological charts, our poor finances—anyone or anything on which we can pin the blame. We never want to look at where the real problem lies: ourselves.

If you want to create the life of your dreams, then you must take 100 percent responsibility for your life as it is right now. That means giving up all your excuses, all your victim stories, all the reasons why you can’t do something and why you haven’t done something up until now and all your need to blame outside circumstances. You have to give them all up…forever.

You must take the position that you have always had the power to make it different, to get it right, to produce the desired results. For whatever reason (ignorance, lack of awareness, fear, needing to be right, needing to feel safe) you have chosen not to exercise that power. Who knows why? It really doesn’t matter. The past is the past. All that matters now is that from this point forward you will choose—that’s right, it’s a choice—to act as if (that’s all that’s required: to act as if) you are 100 percent responsible for everything that does or does not happen to you

If something doesn’t turn out as planned, you will ask yourself “How did I create that? What thoughts did I have to bring this about? What were my beliefs? What did I say or not say? What did I do or not do to create that result? How did I get the other person to act that way? What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?”

Here’s an exercise to help you do that. Answer each question as honestly as you can:

What is a difficult or troubling situation in your life?
How are you creating it or allowing it to happen?
What are you pretending not to know?
What is the payoff for keeping things the way they are?
What would you rather be experiencing?
What actions will you take to create that?
By what date will you take that action?

It’s easy to blame someone or something else for the disappointments you face in life. But by owning every aspect of your life, you are simply recognizing that the power to create the life you’ve dreamed of has been yours all along.

Learn from everyone; seek out good advice; model yourself on those you admire—but let no one tell you how much you are worth. Write your own paycheck