How to on your way to speak like a true NewYorker !!!!!

While In Iraq , I got into a conversation with some locals who wanted to know all about the city and how to speak like a New Yorker. So I put it together and it was one of the funniest days I had in my Life. This is how it went

If you plan to visit New York and use a proper English phrasebook to get you around, fuggetaboutit! True New Yorkers admittedly (and proudly) speak a version of English you can’t even begin to decipher with a phrasebook. Whether it be years of immigrants melding their respective languages into one or just a random jamble of words, the dialect spoken here needs a bit of explanation.

First things first, to speak like a New Yorker, forget the combination of the letters “T” and “H”. As in:
Dees, Doze, Dis and Dat (These, Those, This and That)

For whatever reason, these, those, this and that don’t exist in New York. Instead, D’s are really popular and if you want to fake being a native, drop these and switch to doze.

Ga’ Head (Go Ahead)
A phrase of encouragement. As in, “go on with your bad self”.

Get the F**k Outta Hea (Get the F**k out of Here)
Sure this sounds confrontational but its a term of disbelief more than anything.

Scenario: “So Paulie (a common man’s name in NY for some reason), I ran into Fat Lou dis morning and he told me that five guys rolled into the deli wearing nothing but speedos and cowboy boots.”
Paulie “Get the F**k Outta Hea”.

Da bot a’ yous (the both of you)
More than one of you. You and a friend are bot yous.

How YOU Doin? (how are you doing?)
Made popular by Friends, it’s like asking how you are doing but with more intent. Put some emphasis on the YOU and you’ll blend right in.

Fuggetaboutit (Forget about it)
Don’t worry about it, it’s all good. Also used to express that something is never going to happen as in, “You think you can get in her pants? Fuggetaboutit!”

Loosie (Lucy)
Not a hooker but a single cigarette. Smokes in NYC are about $11 a pack so there is a huge demand for single cigarettes (at $0.75 a piece).

Mudder (mother)
Directly translated to mother. Popular uses include: “I heard your mudder was sick? How is that old broad?” and “F**k your mudder”. Both are quite different uses of the term but nonetheless very common.

People that either don’t know or forgot your name will call you “boss” instead, especially if you go to the same bodega (the general store you see on every corner) more than once during your visit. You will feel like a big deal for no good reason.

If you get one of these thrown in your direction, know that you really f**ked up. The equivalent of being called a douchebag. Get your fight face on, shit’s going down.

Bodega: (Spanish) a small corner convenience store

The City: used when referring to New York City.

Straphangers: a standing passenger on a bus, subway, or train

Bridge and Tunnel: used when referring to those that live in the suburbs, mostly Jersey or Long Island

Pie: pizza

Coffee regular: refers to coffee with cream and sugar

Stand on line: to stand in a line

Lox and a Schmear: a bagel with smoked salmon and cream cheese

Kitch: (Yiddish) referring to tasteless style. Also, kitchy (adj)

Hero: a submarine sandwich

Used to up the level of any conversation. Feel free to stick an “eyyy” into just about anywhere. Beginning a conversation with it is more like a “hello”. Show emotion by throwing it in as an exclamation. Combined with random hand gestures, you can have an entire discussion about nothing using “eyyy” and leave satisfied. Moment of silence? Get your “eyyy” out and it won’t be so awkward.

The above grab bag of phrases is a good start. If you have a handle of their uses, try saying them really loud, louder than you feel comfortable (aim for people being able to hear you within at least an entire city block radius), and you’ll be on your way to truly speaking like a New Yorker.


As a New Yorker being in Texas it was life on Mars; but I survived and so can you

As a New Yorker being in Texas for 2 yrs it was quite literally life on Mars. Stunned like Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes screaming its a “madhouse”

I learned my ways until I was able to survive and head back to the Motherland…the Bronx. I escaped to live another day. But if you do have to go to Texas I hope the lessons below will help you survive.

1. If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean They can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
4. Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
5. Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive.
6. Get used to hearing, “You ain’t from around here, are you?”
7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
9. Get used to the phrase “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”. And the collateral phrase “You call this hot? Wait’ll August.”
10. There are no delis. Don’t ask.
11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man’s shoulder when making a point, especially in a bar.
12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
13. Brisket is not ‘cooked’ in an oven
14. Don’t tell them how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
15. If you think it’s too hot, don’t worry. It’ll cool down-in December.
16. They have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer!
17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F-150 is.
18. If someone tells you “Don’t worry, those peppers aren’t hot” you can be certain they are.
19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won’t do it.
20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don’t ask.
21. If someone says they’re “fixin” to do something, that doesn’t mean anything’s broken.
22. Don’t even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you really mean to say is ‘Margarita.’
23. If you don’t understand their passion for college and high school football just keep your mouth shut.
24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called “courtesy”.
26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
27. No matter what you’ve seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular weekend pastime.
28. “Tea” = Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
29. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
30. You better learn the way of the Cowboys. If you don’t your life will be like the last Human in ‘The Walking Dead’ Chances of survival are not good
31. Most of all be wary of the Texas woman. Not only are they beautiful but their tears are like a Love Potion. Its in the water. That’s why they say “don’t drink the water in Texas” or was that Mexico. I forget….still haven’t recovered fully
from that Texas heat yet….sorry

Places to keep your Love alive !!!! You can leave your hat on !!!!

To keep any love alive physically you have to use your imagination. Be careful though cause you may running!!!!

1.In the dark at work
2.On a airplane
3.On the balcony of your apartment
4.In the bathroom at your parent’s house
5.In the pool
6.On the couch with your roommate at home
7.On the stairs in your house
8.On the hood of your car
9.On the kitchen table
10.On the washing machine while it’s on
11.In a phone booth
12.In a dressing room
13.On a lifeguard station at night
14.In the back seat of a car on a secluded cul-de-sac or in the driveway
15.In the shower
16.On a ferris wheel
17.In a tree
18.In a tree house
19.In the back of a pickup truck as airplanes fly over you to come in for a landing
20.On a piano
21.In the bathtub
22.On a pool table
23.On a workout bench
24.On a lounge chair, pool side at night
25.In a water amusement park
26.On the sofa couch watching an X-rated show with your lover
27.In a secretive place where you work
28.In front of your computer in the chair with your special love
29.On the Augusta Ga golf course
30.In a hammock in the backyard under the stars
31.In a rest area off a major highway, in broad daylight
32.In the forest against a tree
33.In the bathroom during a big party
34.On a slide in a park at night
35.In a hospital room
36.Under a bridge with traffic passing over you
37.In a stairway at a hotel
38.In a tent
39.In a sleeping bag
40.Against a fence
41.In a field of wild flowers
42.On a waterbed
43.In the snow
44.In the back of a pickup under the stars
45.In a cave with the waterfall underneath
the cave
46.On an almost never traveled country road
47.On a dinner table with candlelight around it
48.In an expensive hotel
49.In a haunted house
50.Underneath the library’s tables
51.In a hot shower against the wall or in the bath
52.In a parking garage
53.On a diving board
54.In the public park in the fallen leaves
55.Under a park pavilion during a thunderstorm
56.On a swing
57.In a Sauna
58.On top of a lighthouse
59.In the sea
60.On a double decker bus
61.On a boat in NYC during July 4th fireworks with the Miss Liberty in the backround
Add to the list!!!!!!!


Love and electricity are one in the same…
If you do not feel the jolt in your soul everytime
a kiss is shared,
a whisper is spoken,
a touch is felt….
Then your are not really in love at all….”