How to on your way to speak like a true NewYorker !!!!!

While In Iraq , I got into a conversation with some locals who wanted to know all about the city and how to speak like a New Yorker. So I put it together and it was one of the funniest days I had in my Life. This is how it went

If you plan to visit New York and use a proper English phrasebook to get you around, fuggetaboutit! True New Yorkers admittedly (and proudly) speak a version of English you can’t even begin to decipher with a phrasebook. Whether it be years of immigrants melding their respective languages into one or just a random jamble of words, the dialect spoken here needs a bit of explanation.

First things first, to speak like a New Yorker, forget the combination of the letters “T” and “H”. As in:
Dees, Doze, Dis and Dat (These, Those, This and That)

For whatever reason, these, those, this and that don’t exist in New York. Instead, D’s are really popular and if you want to fake being a native, drop these and switch to doze.

Ga’ Head (Go Ahead)
A phrase of encouragement. As in, “go on with your bad self”.

Get the F**k Outta Hea (Get the F**k out of Here)
Sure this sounds confrontational but its a term of disbelief more than anything.

Scenario: “So Paulie (a common man’s name in NY for some reason), I ran into Fat Lou dis morning and he told me that five guys rolled into the deli wearing nothing but speedos and cowboy boots.”
Paulie “Get the F**k Outta Hea”.

Da bot a’ yous (the both of you)
More than one of you. You and a friend are bot yous.

How YOU Doin? (how are you doing?)
Made popular by Friends, it’s like asking how you are doing but with more intent. Put some emphasis on the YOU and you’ll blend right in.

Fuggetaboutit (Forget about it)
Don’t worry about it, it’s all good. Also used to express that something is never going to happen as in, “You think you can get in her pants? Fuggetaboutit!”

Loosie (Lucy)
Not a hooker but a single cigarette. Smokes in NYC are about $11 a pack so there is a huge demand for single cigarettes (at $0.75 a piece).

Mudder (mother)
Directly translated to mother. Popular uses include: “I heard your mudder was sick? How is that old broad?” and “F**k your mudder”. Both are quite different uses of the term but nonetheless very common.

People that either don’t know or forgot your name will call you “boss” instead, especially if you go to the same bodega (the general store you see on every corner) more than once during your visit. You will feel like a big deal for no good reason.

If you get one of these thrown in your direction, know that you really f**ked up. The equivalent of being called a douchebag. Get your fight face on, shit’s going down.

Bodega: (Spanish) a small corner convenience store

The City: used when referring to New York City.

Straphangers: a standing passenger on a bus, subway, or train

Bridge and Tunnel: used when referring to those that live in the suburbs, mostly Jersey or Long Island

Pie: pizza

Coffee regular: refers to coffee with cream and sugar

Stand on line: to stand in a line

Lox and a Schmear: a bagel with smoked salmon and cream cheese

Kitch: (Yiddish) referring to tasteless style. Also, kitchy (adj)

Hero: a submarine sandwich

Used to up the level of any conversation. Feel free to stick an “eyyy” into just about anywhere. Beginning a conversation with it is more like a “hello”. Show emotion by throwing it in as an exclamation. Combined with random hand gestures, you can have an entire discussion about nothing using “eyyy” and leave satisfied. Moment of silence? Get your “eyyy” out and it won’t be so awkward.

The above grab bag of phrases is a good start. If you have a handle of their uses, try saying them really loud, louder than you feel comfortable (aim for people being able to hear you within at least an entire city block radius), and you’ll be on your way to truly speaking like a New Yorker.


The Black Guy Always Dies First. Why? I don’t know. I just happen to notice these things

My friends were telling at a wedding I recently attended that one of the biggest clichés in Hollywood movies is that the black male actor in the movies always dies. Now I believe that the old adage is going the way of the Dinosaur cause no one would have killed off Larry Fishbourne as Morpheus’ In Night of the Living Dead (1968) the main character and ‘hero’ is a black guy, which is quite something considering when it was made.

In fact, the actor, Duane Jones, became the first African-American to be cast in a lead role of a major motion picture that did not specify the part had to be played by a black actor.

Regrettably, despite being the only survivor of the zombie attack, he is ultimately killed by white people. ._. So I thought it would be fitting if we could think of the 5 most glorious screen deaths. So since I was the only one sober of the 5 to take notes here is what happened…. it goes in no particular order

Jim Brown in “The Dirty Dozen”
First things first. Next to the Godfather,,best movie for “guys who like movies” Every man should be forced to watch this movie before they are allowed to go into puberty, You wanna be a man? Watch this movie first!!! EAT THIS RAW MEAT!!! Then we will talk. The Dirty Dozen was released before my time but i am sure. if you haven’t seen the movie You will have the same reaction
‘Hes going to make it…hes going to make it ..AW DAMM .he didnt make it “
We all hated to see him get it at the end . But if he had to go out at least he went out like a hero. The image of Jim Brown sprinting across the screen, dodging enemy fire is one of the most breathtaking scenes… It was talked about by Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle as he pretended to burst into tears. According to IMDB, Hanks and Garber improvised the scene on the spot. Great stuff.

It making me misty eyed right now

Samuel Jackson In Deep Blue SEA<

Now any movie that kills off Samuel Jackson and leaves LL CooL J alive has something fundamentally wrong. But I recommend that you watch it to see Sam go out in a blaze of glory. I remember when I watched that movie I was thinking “Finally a black guy manages to survive”. It was probably only because it was LL Cool J, and he was cool back then.

The writers already met there quota when they randomly killed Sam L Now if you havent seen the movie,, lucky you … AFTER the genetically engineered sharks who seem to be smarter than any one in the movie, make their first attack, the scared group gets together to regroup and Sam is attempting to calm them all.

Using his best Pulp Fiction Jules Winfield voice …”stay calm… we will get out of here”. I remember thinking … he’s getting to close to the water. Sure enough one of the sharks leaps out and drags Sam into the water kicking and screaming. It not believable …the movie is pretty bad… but it was awesome. The only thing that would have topped that would be if somehow the shark came back… looked at the others and said

“I’m sorry” “Am I breaking your concentration? ”

I wonder though if he had just eaten a Snickers with peanut butter before the shark ate him. I hear that’s what they prefer, according to recent shark focus groups.

Charles Dutton in Aliens 3

In Alien 3 Ripley wakes up in a prison colony with 2 of the creatures, one roaming, and one inside her. In an effort to trap the full-grown one, Roc must hold off the creäture while Ripley climbs up and pours a few thousand gallons of molten lead on the beast …clichéd? Yes! Predictable? yes!! Dutton screams ” is that all you got… Is that as hard as you can bite . He’s spitting like a cornered cat as he engaged the deadliest creatures now to man.. The only comparison it’s like being in a Room with the “Real housewives of New Jersey” or dreaming about Snooki over and over….As Charlton Heston Said ‘ its a madhouse A madhouse

Carl Weathers and Bill Duke In Predator
I think we all can remember the scene “I see you ” Bill Duke Hisses…. Some how Carl Weathers takes about 30 seconds to realize that hes looking at a 10 ft tall invisible reptile who moves at the speed of light. He stood a better chance fighting Ivan Drago in Rocky 4 ..With no visible shock says “hey i see it too. Nevertheless it was somewhat fun to watch Apollo meet his match. Bill Duke stood no chance. Funny though The weapon on the predator blew off Apollos arm ..Bill Dukes head and Jesse Ventura chest. The Terminator Arnie takes a direct hit to his shoulder and he gets a flesh wound MMM

Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man
Wesley Snipes grimaces and bares his pearly whites ( what’s the deal with that awful blonde hairdo?). Bad hair nevertheless he sure seemed to be having fun until he was freeze-dried by Healthy Choice . Kinda of wish SLY”said “Ice Ice Baby” I think that would have ranked right up there with “ASTA la VeeSTA baby The only thing i remember about that movie is the crush I had on Sandra Bullock. Wonder what ever happened to her



In Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 war movie Full Metal Jacket, Eightball (played by Dorian Harewood) is the first to be killed in combat. Shot down by sniper fire, Eightball dies a slow and painful death as he is repeatedly shot from afar.

Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman) in the 1992 classic western, Unforgiven, is the first to get killed of the three main characters.

Something I realized right after writing the last post: Dennis Haysbert is the first to die in TWO different 90’s action movies. Who could forget the lovable Allstate dude in Heat. Picked up at the last minute by the crew of bank robbers as their driver, he is the first to get killed once the shit hits the fan. Haysbert plays Donald Breedan, a down on his luck parolee. Angered at his minimum wage job where he is forced to pay his boss a percentage out of his pay, he is approached by former crew member Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro). With only seconds to decide to leave his job and go for one more run with the bad guys, he jumps on the opportunity and shoves his boss aside and goes for it. Then he gets shot in the head. Oops. Spoiler Alert.

Just as in Gremlins, the first guy to get killed is black AND also a teacher. Insightful Mr.Teasdale played by Frank McRae gets lit up with an AK to the chest by a just-landed Soviet troop in the 1984 movie Red Dawn. If you haven’t seen this one you are reaaaaallly missing out. This one features young Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C.Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson and Baby from Dirty Dancing. What’s her name again? Ah, who cares.

From cult sci-fi classic Aliens we have Private Ricco Frost, played by Ricco Ross. He is the first named character in the movie to get killed. Set on fire accidently by a fellow marine and sent over the railing to his doom.

From the classic film Enter the Dragon, Jim Kelly as Williams. Of our three main characters including Bruce Lee and John Saxon, the black guy dies first.

Just don’t die like this !!!