How to be in the Diamond Club of Winners

Contingency plans are unnecessary. I am not making plans for failure because I am not planning to fail . Diamond mentally is very simple . Contingency PLANS ARE UNNECESSARY . You CANNOT LET ANYBODY STEAL YOUR DREAM . YOU ARE IN A BATTLE . AND THEY WANT TO STEAL IT ..they want to keep you where you are at. You have got to be willing to fight.

You need to remember , If you want to be understood by 2 % of the nation You will be misunderstood by the 98% . Some of you are already eliminated because you are worried by what other people think

But you see to be part of the 2 % you need to step out of the comfort zone, the decision has to be made that you are a diamond.
YOU wont look back , let up slow up or back away . Your past is forgotten , Your present is focused , Your future is secure . You are finished and done with low living sidewalk people , cheap excises and dwarf goals . You no longer need preeminence, position , promotion , promised or popularity . You don’t have to be praised regarded or awarded. You died to the self centered ego driven limp lifestyle . You live by faith , learn by submitting , labor by love , lead by example . Your dream is developed, Your decision is definite , your decision and desire determined, your pace is fast and set , your road is narrow , your way is tough. Your purpose is clear
YOU cannot be brought compromised detoured lured away , turned back deluded ,delayed or denied .You will not flinch in the face of sacrifice ; hesitate in the presence of the adversary; negotiate at the table of failure ; ponder in the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

You wont give up , shut up, let up, till you stayed up , paid up and stood up .
You must fight when others faint , go where others wont , give till you drop, teach and work till the task is finished . and when YOU lie exhausted on the playing field of the dreamers . The diamond club of winners wont have any trouble recognizing YOU as one of their own


My search for Miss Karen and how I became Lord of the Idiots

I always had this crush on this woman from High School and when I saw her again 30 years later,  the memories washed over me again.

She was a beautiful woman and I was content to have a silent crush on her  But Like all the fella’s of the day … I wanted to date her in HS. But looking back  at some old pictures of myself trying to date the ladies… I was going to have difficulty. The kids were scared …women were scared In fact all of NY was. Here I was in the beginning of my quest.

Obviously it would be a massive MASSIVE quest …Here is what I mean

Now I needed to get in shape, to get strong, because no one was gonna date the fat kid … I almost failed but I wasn’t going to give up the dream I wasn’t going to quit

But here I am at on my rehearsal date . Obviously I still needed a lot of work

Here I am not having discovered a razor yet nor read the book “how to pick up women” My dream of meeting her was far off. Fantasy Island far off

Here I am out of college living in NYC. Still a sounding like Steve Corell 40 Yr old virgin Was there any Hope for me?

But I was brave I continued to push forward but a blind date with this woman scared the hell out of me…you got to be careful about who you pick up in a bar and what bars you go to meet them in NYC. I almost didn’t survive

Then a miracle I became smooth…. suave…The women loved me …I had my choice …people thought I made a deal with the devil…no …just with MensWarehouse

I was hanging out with great people …I was excited as you can see below …I was going to take all my friends …my dream was close. I was off  to the Races  !!!!

I was ready for the show… I knew what I believed in and what I wanted

But here is what happened when I saw her walking up to me . I lost all my courage

Here is what happened when I saw her for the first time . I was the red M&M

…Oh well I went back to training.She left me .. I am the Lord of the Idiots … Thank God the above was only a dream  or was it !!!!.

Just my Imagination.

History Improved through technology: MLK Famous “I have a Dream” Tweet


twitter bird

I was tweeting the other day – you know, on Twitter…. What, you are not familiar with Twitter? How about Facebook? No? Does “the Internet” ring a bell? Okay, in case you’re still living in that cave in Northern Afghanistan (or are my elderly mother) and you’re still not familiar with Twitter, it’s this web site where you can tell the world what you’re doing – so long as you can do it in 140 characters or less.  But, and this is key, your message must be of interest to absolutely NOBODY but yourself.

It is such an incredible improvement over previous ways of communicating online. Instead of having to pound out long, detailed emails, now you can post easy-to-skim “tweets” as Twitter posts are called.  Oh sure, some people say that most tweets are just a complete narcissistic waste of time. But I could not disagree more. Heck, just this morning, I learned the following very timely and helpful information at my Twitter home page from lots of people, a couple of whom I think I might have actually heard of:

  • Margy tweeted: chilling at Ted’s drinking beers with Don, King, and Craig. Good times. Hope Bernice doesn’t show up. Such a slut.
  • Carrie: Made a tasty casserole for dinner! The secret is extra Tuna Helper.
  • Marilyn: I’m not dancing because I have diarrhea.
  • Scot: Off to the upper Haight to replace the tongue ring I broke on the plane. (I am not making this one up, I swear.)
  • Mick: They are serving F11 in the snackateria! (I wonder if F11 is anything like Soylent Green.)

See how useful Twitter can be? Hard to imagine how we ever survived without it, I know. The great thing about Twitter is that because of its 140 character limit, it forces you to communicate with concise precision, like my buddy Scot did in the example above. No wasted chatter about how he broke his tongue ring on a plane or whether he is also going to buy a new bong while he is in Haight Ashbury. No, just the core “need-to-know” facts.

And not being known for my brevity, at first tweeting was a real challenge for me. Here are a couple of my very first unsuccessful tweets:



But I think I have, with practice, found out how to get to the point in 140 characters or less. Now I tweet all the time. Which got me to thinking (oh no, there he goes again – thinking – this can’t be good), what a wonderful learning tool Twitter could be for kids today. If your kids are like mine, they have roughly the attention span and metabolism of a Meercat on a diet of Mountain Dew and espresso shots. It’s no wonder the great classics bore them – they’re so full of… well, words.

So I was thinking, wouldn’t it be great if kids could read a condensed Twitterized version of the great speeches and important texts from history. Imagine savoring the classics in roughly the time it takes to burp. Just think how much more excited our kids would be to learn.

So I took the liberty of condensing some of the great speeches, historical treatises and literary classics into convenient tweet-size packages. Here is a small sampling of what could someday become Classic Tweets:

Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: He loves her. She loves him. Parents just don’t understand. She fakes her death. He didn’t get the memo. He kills himself. She kills herself. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, blah blah blah… The end.

The Declaration of Independence & the US Constitution (they’re pretty much the same thing):  King George is a jerk. We’re so done. We declare ourselves free. We hold these truths to be self-evident: All white males with property are equal. Oh yeah, WE’RE NUMBER ONE! Click here to check out our latest amendments.

Martin Luther King

Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech: 100 years after the Emancipation Proclamation blacks are still not free. Wouldn’t it be great if they finally were? Gosh it’s hot in DC today. Anybody have a fan?

The Gettysburg Address: Four score and seven years ago we became a new country. This Civil War sucks.  Let’s pull together, boys, and win one for equality – or at least for the Gipper.

cicero in senateCicero’s famous oration in support of Julius Caesar in the Roman Senate (which originally went on for three hours): Aebuti impudentiae, quam tum in vi facienda cessit audaciae. Verum et illud considerati hominis esse putavit. Specto imago femina cum toga sexius, clickus ici

Neil Armstrong’s famous first words on the moon speech: That’s one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind…. Hey Houston, check out this view! It‘s totally mind-blowing man. I can see Russia from here.

churchillChurchill’s Blood, toil, tears, and sweat Speech Before Parliament: We’re in the middle of a mother of a fight. Hitler is one bad-ass dude. Gotta stop him. I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat, oh, and some really fine Cuban cigars – anybody?

genesisBook of Genesis: In the beginning, God created light, dark, rocks, trees, dinosaurs, cows, pigs, birds and man – all in six days. Day seven: serious snooze time. Hey, don’t eat that apple.  Men – they never listen.  Okay, here comes the smiting.

I have proposed this idea to the good folks at Twitter and am waiting to hear back. I even have a name for this new product idea: “Twitter’s Speeches & Historically Important Texts” or “Shit Twits” for short.

Imagine how much funner learning would be if you read just a few tweets? Think about how quickly our kids could learn if we tossed out those boring 500-page textbooks and replaced them with Twitterized versions.  With just a few short tweets, kids could learn about the Fall of Troy, Genghis Khan, World War II, and whether the Magna Carta was Magna-tized, not to mention the identity of Lindsay Lohan’s current rehab facility.

I myself have freed up eons of hours that I can now spend on more important tasks – like writing more tweets. Here is one I am working on now: “I totally think Parmesan Goldfish are way better than Cheez-its or Cheetos. Only losers eat Cheetos unless you’re talking about the crunchy Cheetos. They’re not bad.” This post was really long before I tweeterized it.

The Mindless Menace of Violence againest Women

“He who learns must suffer. Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, and against our will, comes wisdom by the awful grace of God.”

While single and even married I did all the cooking, laundry,food shopping. I paid all the bills. I would wake up every morning and make sure that my family had breakfast on the table ready for them before they got up. My mom made me learn how to cook,clean, sew and bake. She wanted me not to be dependent on any woman. My Dad embedded in me the idea that to be violent toward women is a reflection on my own weakness. Even while being in the Military and seeing the horrific things that men can to to each other in the name of “honor” I never had the urge to take out that horror on a woman

The reason we took notice of 30-year-old Reeva Steenkamp’s death among so many others killed every day is the shocking news that the man charged with killing her, her boyfriend, is none other than Oscar Pistorius, the athlete known as “Blade Runner,” a double amputee whose Olympic feats on prosthetic carbon fiber legs made him an international superstar.

But given what has been credibly written about him personally, Oscar Pistorius was transfixed by the dark side of the moon.

There is no question that many societies are finally becoming fed up with the much-too-common practice of attacking, raping and killing women that goes on in all corners of the world.

The perpetrators of these crimes are cowards, using superior physical force to intimidate or exert power. We have come to know some of their victims.

Remember Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani girl targeted by the Taliban because she proclaimed that every girl has a right to an education. She has survived and vowed to continue her struggle despite the Taliban’s promise they will try to kill her. The contrast in courage could not be starker.

Then there is Nirbhaya, the New Delhi university student who was gang raped in a bus. She died of her horrific injuries, but her assault moved India and the entire world so deeply that her legacy has fueled the battle to stop this violence.

Earlier this month, in a case gruesomely reminiscent of Nirbhaya, 17-year-old Anene Booysen was raped, killed, mutilated and left for dead, in the South African city of Capetown.

. According to U.N. statistics, one in three women will experience violence in her lifetime, including beating, rape or assault, making such violence a more prevalent problem than AIDS, malaria or any other disease. It means 1 billion women alive at this moment will become part of that statistic, .

The problem has deep roots and far-reaching ramifications. Women have endured the use of rape as a weapon of war, and domestic violence as a tool of control at home.

Domestic violence is one of those old traditions that should have died long ago. A 2012 study by UNICEF found most youngsters in India believe wife-beating is justified. But other surveys found the problem knows no national boundaries. The U.N. says about 14,000 Russian women die every year from domestic violence.

In some countries, women are subjected to violence as retaliation for other family members’ or their own perceived offenses in so-called “honor killings.”

In war zones, fighters rape women to humiliate their enemies, to perpetrate “ethnic cleansing” and to force people to leave. An incredible 92% of Liberian women in one study said they had been raped in that country’s war. As you read this, women are being raped in Syria, in the Congo and in other countries where wars rage. After the violation, many of them will be rejected by their families.

Violence against women tends to go hand in hand with lack of equality. It also is a sign of a malfunctioning society. It is a stubborn problem, but one that responds to measures, such as those just approved after a perplexing political battle in the United States.

As the world changes, as countries emerge from poverty and people fight for their rights, we can look to the level of violence against women as one of the gauges of their success. The Arab Human Development Reports of 2002 and 2005 said the low status of women is one of the reasons Arab countries had stagnated, calling the rise of women “a prerequisite for an Arab renaissance.”

Pistorius’ South Africa, a country with a storied history in the fight for racial equality, has a disturbing record of violence against women.

Any country, any society that wants to move forward and earn a place of honor among the nations must make it a priority to teach men from the earliest age that violence against women in any form is unacceptable, and those who hurt or intimidate women should be punished. They are men by gender only.

City Club of Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio
April 5, 1968

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one – no matter where he lives or what he does – can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr’s cause has ever been stilled by an assassin’s bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason.

Whenever any American’s life is taken by another American unnecessarily – whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence – whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

“Among free men,” said Abraham Lincoln, “there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lose their cause and pay the costs.”

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man’s spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.

I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children’s future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.

Kennedy recited these lines by Aeschylus on announcing the death of Martin Luther King, Jr.

“He who learns must suffer. Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, and against our will, comes wisdom by the awful grace of God.”

How to bring romance and hot nights for Valentines day or any day

Make your evening together sizzle by leaving trails of red rose petals to a romantic surprise such as a steaming bubble bath, an intimate gift, a romantic dinner for two, or to you–wearing nothing but a ribbon. Whatever your romantic surprise is, be sure to include candles, red wine, soft music, and, of course, more red roses. The evening is sure to be a memorable and enjoyable one!

Have a steamy bubble bath waiting for your love. Scent the water with fragrant rose oil, put softly glowing candles (also rose scented if possible) around the tub, and float rose petals on the top. When your love gets in the tub, slowly lather him or her up with soft soap and thoroughly massage neck, shoulders, chest, and arms. Pause long enough for a kiss or two, and continue your sensuous work. Rinse your love with warm water, and let your passion lead you from there.

Buy one dozen roses. Write intimate messages on tiny sheets of paper, clearly stating what you’d like your love to do to you tonight. Roll the papers up and attach one to each rose stem with ribbon. Hide the roses and dress in something alluring–or nothing at all. When your love walks in the door, tease him or her with a kiss and some affectionate rubbing. But don’t let him or her go too far, because the game is on. Your love must find and read out loud all twelve rose coupons before he or she can cash in for a wonderful evening with you.

Gently remove some petals from some roses and place them about the house, keeping track of how many petals there are. Leave a note on the door for when your love gets home saying that you’ll give them a kiss for every rose petal he or she presents to you. Add that if your love finds all of the petals, then you’ll give him or her whatever is desired.

Write your love a sensual letter that describes what you’d like him or her to do to you (if you need help, you can chose and print a letter from the Secret Love Letter Section). Add a bit of cologne, rose petals, and seal. Put the letter on your love’s pillow. Add more rose petals, and get ready for an intimate night.

Make it an extra hot night. Put red rose petals on the sheets and around your love’s pillow. Get out the oil. Heat it up for a few minutes in hot water. Turn down the lights and turn on the music. Have your love lie down in a bed of roses for an intimate massage that’s followed by kissing and caressing.

Give your love an intimate gift, such as sexy lingerie, a bottle of intimate oil, etc.. Put the gift in a white box and garnish with metallic ribbon, pink or red tissue paper and red rose petals. Wear something alluring and present the gift to your love. Be sure to include the gift in the evening’s fiery fun.

Is it a beautiful day for a romantic picnic? You can make it all the sweeter. Get your picnic packed, being sure to include some red wine or champagne, strawberries, and a couple of glasses. Then take a white sheet, spray with a bit of fragrance and add some rose petals. Carefully roll the sheet up and tie with a red ribbon. Pack separately from the food items. Unroll the sheet when you get to the picnic spot for a sensual meal and some intimate romance for dessert.

Gather the most beautiful roses you can find. You’ll need at least a dozen roses for this scenario. Take the roses and spell out the words, “I love you” on the dash of your love’s car or somewhere else where he or she is sure to see it. This will made a bold statement about your adoration and will reveal just how deep your feelings go.

Are you ready for a hot date? Here’s one sure way to make it all the hotter. Before you pick him or her up, put rose petals on and around your love’s seat. You could even tuck some silky petals in the mirror. Make up a reason why your love need’s to look in the mirror. When the mirror is pulled down, petals will cascade gently down to inspire affection that will last the whole evening. Quite simply, he or she will adore you for this thoughtful and romantic act.

This will take some advance planning and preparation. Grow some roses in your garden–make sure they’re a fragrant variety. When they mature, send your love an envelope full of petals with a short message about how they were grown in your own garden for the one you love. This act of love will speak your heart louder and stronger than any words possibly could.

Buy a beautiful red rose and gently remove most of the petals. On a small strip of paper, write a short romantic sentence about your feelings for your love such as specific reasons why you admire and love him or her. Roll up and wrap a rose petal around the message. Attach the rose to the petal with thin ribbon. Write more messages and repeat for the remainder of petals. Put the messages in a white box on a bed of romantic sheer fabric or heart printed tissue paper. Top with the rose and add a short message, explaining that the rest of the rose petals hold what’s in your heart. Your love will always appreciate this heartfelt and romantic gift and will return to the messages often.

Have a florist send your love 11 roses at a specific time. Show up at the door shortly afterward with the 12th rose. Here’s another version–if you’re going away on a trip. Have a florist deliver 11 roses on the day before you return. When you get home, inspire a romantic evening by presenting the remaining rose.

Give him or her a single different colored rose each week. Place it somewhere where he or she is sure to find it–along with a note attached, explaining what that color of rose means and how it pertains to your heart or your relationship.

Another variation. Give him or her a bouquet of different colored roses and write a romantic message explaining what each rose color in the bouquet means.
The Meaning of Roses
All roses symbolize love, but each rose has a special symbolic meaning. So before you send your love roses, make sure you know what your precious gift is saying to your love’s heart.
Rose Colors
• Red
• Dark Red
• Yellow
• Peach
• Dark Pink
• Light Pink
• White
• Red/Yellow
• Coral or orange
• Deep Burgundy

Passion, respect, love, strength
Inner beauty, love, passion
Joy, gladness, freedom, commitment
Gratitude, admiration, sympathy, sincerity
Grace, gentility, appreciation, tenderness
Admiration, sympathy, happiness, friendship
Reverence, Purity, Secrecy
Happiness, endless joy
Desire or enthusiasm
Endless inner Beauty

Other Meanings
• Two roses joined together symbolizes engagement.
• A Red and White Rose together symbolizes Unity.
• A single red rose in bloom says, “I love you!”
• Tearoses symbolize “I’ll always remember you.”
• Rose leaves are a symbol of hope.
• Red rose buds mean pure, beauty, or lovely.
• White rosebuds symbolize innocence or youth.
• A rose in bloom placed over two buds means secrecy.
• No thorns represent a truce or no fighting.

Touch your love’s heart in a way that he or she will never forget. Get a bag of chocolate kisses and one dozen roses. While he or she is away, put a message on the front door that says, “Follow the trail of kisses,” and leave a trail of chocolate kisses to the bathroom. There, attach the roses to the shower head with red ribbon. Include a note that says, “I’ve kissed the ground you walk on, and now I’ve showered you with roses.”

Get a beautiful light colored full rose that has several petals. Carefully write tiny messages of love on each petal, such as: “I need you,” “I love you,” “You’re beautiful,” etc. This act of love is sure to set the mood for a romance.

Or for a more sensual version, write specific things that you’d like to do to your love and would like him or her to do to you. Present the rose along with a bottle of champagne for a sizzling romantic evening.

Some reasons Why Arming Teachers Is A Really Stupid Idea

Victoria Soto, 27, was buried Thursday under a cold winter sky. Soto, as you may know, was the teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary who stood in front of students in a vain attempt to save their lives.

Jack Pinto, 6, another victim, was buried on Monday. Tragically, that promising young man will never know if his favorite football team made the playoffs. He was laid to rest in his New York Giants football jersey: Number 80, Victor Cruz. (For Jack’s sake, lets hope God hates the Dallas Cowboys.)

And now, with twenty-six fresh graves filled or to fill, what do the most strident gun-rights advocates want to discuss? What do Second Amendment absolutists (those who say the right to bear arms cannot be infringed) suggest that we do to protect innocence like Jack Pinto?

Of course! We arm people like Ms. Soto. We arm schools

Why is this idea stupid, you ask? As a former US Army Special Forces NCO , allow me to explain: first and foremost, it won’t work. It won’t guarantee the kind of safety our children deserve. And we, as a nation, can no longer afford the luxury of wishful thinking where these kind of attacks are concerned. We owe the victims of this horrendous attack better. We owe it to all of our children, both living and dead, to face reality and craft sensible national policies. Here are a few reasons why arming teachers is an absurd place to start:

1. If we place a gun in the office, ready to a principal’s hand (or to the hand of some other school defender), as some absolutists are now suggesting, what happens if the heavily armed intruder shoots his way in through a different doorway?

2. What if two maniacal killers are involved? Then one defender isn’t enough (See: Columbine, 1999).

3. If the psychopath has a semi-automatic weapon clearly the defender will require (at minimum) a semi-automatic weapon. How exactly does this gun vs. gun strategy play out if the attack occurs at the start of the school day, or during a class change, when halls are crowded with children? How many bullets do the absolutists want to see flying around our schools?

4. How do we protect kids on a playground during recess if a psycho shows up and starts spraying fire? (That’s already been done. See: Stockton, 1989)

AND LET’S NOT FORGET PSYCHO PLAN B: What if the killer can’t get into the school. What if he heads for a college campus, a theater, a Sikh temple or mall in frustration? (We do know that’s been done, do we not?)

If the idea of arming teachers is dumb, what about doubling down on the dumb? After all, the Second Amendment is scared, according to absolutists, and all gun-control is wrong. What choice, then, do we have other than to arm everyone in schools? Every teacher and, yes, the nurse too. Drop that mop, Mr. Janitor.

From now on you’re patrolling the halls with an Uzi.

Is that really the sad state our nation is in? Are we too cowardly and too blind to face hard American-made facts? Can’t we at least be honest about where we stand? If we have 300 million guns in private hands and those aren’t enough, then guns for all educators is but a first tiny step. Next we need to issue every public school employee body armor. And there’s the whole idea of child-size bullet-proof vests for kids to consider.

If we can’t pass reasonable legislation, hell, let’s just give up and armor the buses! Place guards on board, riding shotgun beside drivers, like stagecoaches of yore. Seal those first floor windows. Cancel outdoor school activities (maybe forever). Come on, we want kids to be safe. So let’s create schools that resemble bunkers. Screw it. Let’s add 12-foot high walls. Let’s require our teachers (when they’re not preparing for standardized tests) to take turns guarding the perimeter like the Walking Dead instead of wasting time grading and creating lesson plans.

Maybe we need moats.

A conservative friend of mine suggested recently that I should stop “prattling on” about gun control. Maybe I am prattling on. I don’t think so. I think I’m just pissed because Jesse Lewis, on the day he was murdered, told his father in an excited voice before heading to school, “Dad, this is going to be the best Christmas ever.” I’m pissed because that little boy believed what he said and we as a nation allowed a killer to prove him wrong. I’m pissed because Ms. Soto, possessed of “captivating blue eyes,” is dead. I’m pissed because Grace McDonnell is no longer with us and can never follow her dreams. I’m pissed to know that Anne Marie Murphy, another teacher at Sandy Hook, died cradling Dylan Hockley, 6, in her arms.

I’m pissed because all of them died in a “firestorm of bullets.”

In the wake of great tragedy, is hard to imagine that gun-toting absolutists refuse to admit that it’s an indictment of a gun-loving culture if teachers and children are swept away in a “firestorms of bullets.” Like mechanical men, they keep repeating a single refrain: “My Second Amendment rights cannot be infringed. My. Rights. Cannot. Be. Infringed.”

So let’s follow their logic and end with a look at the amendment in question:

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Clearly, the rights of gun owners are sacred. Clearly, they cannot be infringed. Clearly, to protect our freedoms the Founding Fathers understood that what was needed was a well-regulated militia. Got all that? We need armed citizens to repel foreign invasions. Check. And to shoot back at government oppressors. (There’s a strong element of anti-Obama paranoia at play.) Sure. There are already 300 million guns; but that’s not enough, even though it’s pretty much one for every adult in America.

In other words, we need to man up. A modern militia–even though the militia no longer exists–would logically require firepower. (You can argue, and should, that the National Guard is now our militia; but then you get stuck, because they already have their own guns.) Ergo: a private citizen, following absolutist logic, who thinks he’s part of an imaginary militia, and thinks he’s getting ready to repulse imaginary invaders (because, frankly, the U. S. Army can’t do it) or boogie man oppressors (Muslim Obama), has a god-given right to purchase any kind of weapon his heart might desire. And come to think about it that should include a .50 caliber machine gun, an M1A1 tank and an F-16 fighter jet if they want one.

SEE HOW EASY IT IS? The Second Amendment is sacrosanct.
Let’s just build schools inside military bases and have the national guard pat down and scan everyone (including children) before they enter school for the day and then let’s electrify the fence surrounding the school and lock down the entire campus until school is out. Parents can pick up their children outside the gate after they have put on their kevlar backpacks and protective helmets for the trip from their classrooms to the front of the base. Sounds like a real kid-friendly atmosphere, right?

So we try the next best thing. We become the first advanced nation in the world to brag to foreign visitors (of the non-invading type), “Look, we build schools that double as forts!”

in every country, some people lose their jobs and become enraged. Some suffer mental illness and seize on fantastical notions. They are spurned and hatch crackpot schemes and seek revenge. In every country, some people are disturbed, broken-hearted or angry enough to murder. What is special about this country is the extent of the damage that such people are able to inflict when the urge comes.

But the underlying tragedy of this latest American catastrophe is how familiar this sort of spectacle has become. The television coverage and the reactions of prominent people all seem to unfold along the lines of a preconceived script: shock and heartbreak, then biographical inquiry, before we stick the story on the guy who pulled the trigger and move on

As we inevitably speculate and sift through biographical facts in this process of seeking reassurance, there is one fact above all others that needs to be altered: We have to make it harder for people to get their hands on guns.

Historic find from 2008.SARAH PALIN’s “LOST” CONCESSION SPEECH FROM 2008!

Historic find from 2008.


Oh, jeez. Thank you. Jeez. Thank you. Jeez. Thank you. Thank you. Jeez.

My fellow Americans. I have three important words to say to you tonight:

Not. My. Fault.

Seriously: Look at John Mc over there. We never had a chance. He
couldn’t have won this election if I were Megan Fox in a bikini made of
old “National Reviews.”

Oh, don’t worry. That old moose can’t hear a damn thing over there. Look
at him smiling. Hey, maverick: Nice work on the economy! See? He can’t

But hear me tonight, America. You haven’t seen the last of me. I may
have been part of the losing team tonight, but like Jean-Claude Van
Damme said in my favorite movie, “Kindergarten Cops,” I’ll be back.

And next time, I’m doing it my way. No talking points. No sit-downs with
Katie Couric — who watches the CBS Evening News, anyway? Katie, I still
haven’t gotten you thank-you note for saving your job.

I’m not dragging my family around with me again, either. Look at poor
Todd. The hunky stage prop hasn’t tasted elk droppings or greased a snowmobile
chain in four months. My kids are angry, pregnant or both. Trig’s been
passed around onstage more than a Koran at an elite Washington media

But I’m coming back, America, because I care. I want our children to
grow up knowing America is a place where they can own a semiautomatic
and not “Catcher in the Rye.” I fear that Jesus gets less love in our
schools than a stegosaurus. I care than on any given day, my neighbors
in Russia (hi!) are planning a radical-Islamic takeover of our country
with PETA and Planned Parenthood. Bet you didn’t read about that in any
newspaper, Couric.

So see you soon. I’ve got your love, your attention and a pile of
pantsuits from Saks Fifth Avenue and I’m working on a plan to fleece you.

God bless America. Everyone and no one else… especially Bill Ayers and Keith Olbermann.

OK, your stage, old guy. No more hugs, I’m cutting you off.”