You know, so many women in their 30’and above look fantastic now that it’s like trying to figure out which potential Hall of Fame receivers or sluggers from the ’90s and ’00s should be Hall of Famers. So in Honor of the baseball season and my beloved NY Yankees. I decided to put together an all-star team of women in their 30’s and above. My batting order looks like this:
1. Rachel McAdams — I like having her as a leadoff hitter. Aggressive, unquestionably intelligent and fearless. You’d fear her on the base paths and going up against her in casting. This former “Mean Girl” and “Hot Chick” has gone pro and found Morning Glory. Willing to do and make a Vow to any role. Somewhere Lindsey Lohan is quietly whimpering
2. Hillary Swank — Cheery veteran, good for the clubhouse, This undrafted two-time MVP is still willing to give up at-bats and move runners along to help the team. An Idol to all those who are over looked. Million dollar baby she is. In the words of Frank Sinatra “…ho..ho.. ho.. whose got the last laugh now”
3. Angelina Jolie — Power, OPS, speed, the package. It’s almost unfair to the others cause she is the measuring stick, “Salt” in everyone’s wound. It’s like when Michael Jordan was in his prime …untouchable…Oh where have you gone Megan Fox …a nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
4. Charlize Theron — Perennial MVP candidate and star, someone you have to see in person to fully appreciate her. Our highest-paid player. Won a set of antlers given to her by Ben Affleck as the hottest star of the decade. Oscar or Antlers? Tough choice in the trophy case.
5. Kim Kardasian — Fiery dark looks, prodigious natural gifts, famous for people gawking at her tape measured … home runs.
6. Cameron Diaz– She’s our David Ortiz, an aging slugger who after some downtime, still showing she can knock it out of any park. Wildly inconsistent in roles, sort of like “Day and Night”. but the fans still love her
7. Halle Berry –. She’s still putting up big stats, and the statistical community loves her. looks have people still turning heads. The Derek Jeter of our Team
8. Zoe Saldana– Crafty veteran, knows every trick in the book about baseball. Bronx training came in handy when she saved the “Pandora” organization. Immune to pressure, you want her out there for big games. The Robinson Cano of our team. A future MVP
9. Eva Mendez– Keeps the team loose, keeps everyone laughing, doesn’t go for her own stats. The “Hitch in Her” comes out when she is on the field but she gives us a hot-selling jersey for our Fans. Can play four positions.
Starting pitcher: Monica Bellucci – Crafty veteran, This import is like Nolan Ryan after all these yrs. She still hasn’t lost her fastball
Set-up reliever: Kate Beckinsale — Can throw one inning or three, The face of the team, has the highest “UnderWorld fan” participation scene per movie/picture ” ratio of any decent actress. Serendipity applied when the scouts discovered her.
Closer: Nina Arveson. Still routinely hits 103 on the radar gun. The Mariano Rivera of our team. Bold and Beautiful when she appears. Her presence into the game makes us Young and Restless Timeless, ageless, and elegant.
Waiting in the wings Anne Hathaway who seems to get better looking every year.
Coaching staff: Jacqueline Bisset, Julie Christie, Helen Mirren (all in their 60s). Why is it that women with accents keep their level of hotness