At long last… The Men’s Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention (there WILL be a quiz later).
= You want
= I want
It’s your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want
= You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk
= I need to tell you whats gonna happen if we don’t
Sure… go ahead
= I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset
= Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re … so manly
= You need shower before I will ever let you touch me …its 1st door on the right .
You’re certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting!
= I’m on my period.
This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.
I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
I need new shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of what I need
Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?
= I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?
= I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Does this make me look fat?
= Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you’re dead.]
= You’ll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?
= It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.
Was that the baby?
= Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish
= It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and “Oh my GOD” those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
(The answer to “What’s wrong?”)
The same old thing
= My PMS is acting up
= It’s just that you’re such an jerk
I don’t want to talk about it
= Go away, I’m still building up steam