While in Hollywood I ran into alot of situations. I remember seeing a fight between two men in front of a club because one didn’t like how the other looked at his girl friend. She looked like she was just out of HS and they looked like they were in their 60″s. I remember reading about a current “A’ list actress actor boyfriend in NYC “Taking” a piece of art and recently seeing a picture of him smoking what looked like a pipe that usually has weed or crack in it. Wouldn’t be much but it appears his only job is to follow her around the past 3 yrs. Considering her last boyfriend is in prison for fraud. Could she do better? Of course. Will she though?
So why do some women date these men. Maybe because the Myth of what is a man still overpowers what is a man. Myths such as
No.1 Real men fight
I am still not sure why some men resort to fisticuffs in order to prove their manliness. There’s perhaps nothing more barbaric than watching two boozy meatheads trade blows outside a club, usually for reasons as mundane as a scuffed sneaker . Don’t get me wrong. I am the first to promote fighting as a method of defending yourself or the ones you love from physical harm. I was in the military for yrs. But punching someone in the face because you like the way spilled blood looks on the sidewalk or the way a shattered nose feels against your knuckles isn’t manly; it’s moronic.
No.2 Real men look like Ronnie (from Jersey Shore)
The boys from Jersey Shore have done everything in their power to convince men everywhere that getting jacked means getting laid. But before you go ahead and order The Situation’s workout DVD, consider this: If Ronnie and co. realized that you don’t have to be he-man to be a man and spent more time exercising their minds (perhaps some Chaucer?) than their abs, the grenade count at Casa Guido would be significantly reduced. And, no, reading Flex magazine on the can doesn’t count.
No.3 Real men throw money around
Money may buy you a 500-foot yacht, your very own Chinese crested hairless puppy and a lifetime supply of pizza-flavored Pringles, but it won’t always buy you happiness (unless you happen to really, really love pizza-flavored Pringles). Most men are taught from an early age that their primary role on this planet is to act as provider, so spending money is invariably associated with masculinity. The truth is, real men are secure enough to pursue their passions, no matter how small the paycheck. Real men also see no need to flaunt their wealth also
No.4 Real men have a “personal style”
The rise of the metrosexual caused a backlash that made it distinctly effete to take any pride in dressing. Instead of making carefully curated sartorial choices, men often choose the opposite route and dress down any chance they get. Ratty old T-shirts, torn jeans, a backwards ball cap, and worn sneakers have become the de facto uniform for a man trying to assert his masculinity. To these men I say: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tom Brady, David Beckham. You get the point.
No.5 Real men are players
Picture this: You wake up after a night of heavy drinking next to a woman you barely know. Let’s call her “asymmetrical” for politeness’ sake. She kisses you with breath fit for a banshee. You squirm. You spend the next 15 minutes trying to locate your underwear amid a pile of her crumpled clothes and various Wes Anderson DVDs scattered violently throughout her dark, dank bedroom. Eventually, you decide to forgo the underwear, only to find them once you’re fully dressed. You stuff the underwear in your coat pocket, kiss her damp forehead goodbye and stumble home with your dignity just a distant memory. Now repeat. It’s a glimpse into the life of a player, and there ain’t nothin’ manly about it.
No.6 Real men travel in packs
There’s perhaps no social gathering that feels manlier than a bachelor party, a final celebration of one man’s passing from our world to the afterlife. Or at least that’s what your buddies tell you while they’re holding you upside down over your Vegas hotel room balcony. There’s something about the process of coming together in order to achieve one common goal (in this case, getting drunk and laid) that taps into a man’s most primal urges. When men get together, it doesn’t matter what they’re doing or with whom they’re doing it, as long as they’re doing it with a deep crew. But there’s also something to be said for the lone wolf, the solitary voyager, the quiet thinker, who — while you and your friends are getting your pockets emptied by good-at-their-job strippers — is figuring out the quickest way to get from Ghana to Namibia alone by foot. There’s nothing manlier than that.
No.7 Real men know that salad is for sissies
We’ll I will be the first to admit that there’s something inherently manly about a heaping plate of smoked brisket and buttery rosemary potatoes, and there’s certainly few things more satisfying after a long, hard day at work. But with everything we know today about cholesterol and red meat’s contribution to heart disease, it wouldn’t hurt to eat some greens once in a while. After all, what’s the point of being a real man if you’re not alive to enjoy it?
No.8 Real men watch football (exclusively)
Men by nature are competitive. Since the days of the gladiators, they’ve taken pride and pleasure in beating other men at pretty much anything. Running, jumping, wrestling, spaghetti-squash-throwing — you name it. These days, some men are of the opinion that American football is the embodiment of masculinity: Yes, it is a sport based on strength, speed, agility, and pain. It is a sport where men have a distinct advantage over women. It is a sport that rewards its top performers with fame, money, power, and women. But to all the men who believe football is the be all and end all of masculinity, I will say this: Watch a game of playoff hockey, then come talk to me.
No.9 Real men get real drunk
Men often believe that the more beers they can slam or the more Jager Bombs they can guzzle, the more masculine they become. But what sounds more manly? Having a glass of fine scotch on a cold winter night while sitting by the fire next to the woman you love? Or crushing tall cans by the minute with your drunkard friends and waking up under the toilet ? Tough call.
No.10 Real men lie to women
Lying to a woman — especially one you love — should never be easy. But some men — whose moral centers have been eroded by watching too many episodes of Jersey Shore — can lie to a woman with relative ease. It becomes really alarming when these men take pride in their deceit, rather than feel remorse. The real men are the ones that own up to their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions and tell their women the truth. They’re also usually single in Hollywood.
There will always be a demand for good role models: men who choose positive action and spread it like wildfire. These are the Better Men who need to be in your life. The idea of a role model should also be an objective in your life — to take on the task and be a role model yourself.
Being a role model is more than just a job, it’s a responsibility you do not get to choose. What you do is watched by everyone around you. Right now, some are absorbing your actions and mirroring it in their own lives. So, the question you need to ask yourself is: Are my actions positive or negative? Why? Being a role model is a gift. Just be sure your gift is something people can use positively.
People are influenced by you regardless of your realization of it or not. And like it or not, the impact you have on others is felt every day. There will be people in your life who rely on your confidence, call on your intelligence and want to be just like you. Guess what? In the future someone will be watching your apprentice. So choose to spread positivity by being a good role model. Having this attitude will pay you back in many areas of your life.
By teaching, you increase your own aptitude — something all role models strive for. All of your knowledge is wasted if you don’t pass it on. Part of learning is giving — so give others an opportunity to carry on your skills. When you are a role model, you acquire talents you didn’t have before. The skills you share will mold you into a leader, a leader who realizes it’s the people around you who can help you grow as a person.
Don’t waste your time with those who don’t want to become a role model. Men who don’t understand the need to be a role model don’t know how to be one themselves. Are these the kind of men you want to spend your time with? Men who don’t want to be role models lack more than just confidence, they don’t have the right attitude or skills to become one. You think successful women wouldn’t want to date this kind of man. But sadly some do and yrs later they wonder where all the good men are. Usually they are gone for good