I’d like to take a moment to consider what it is about these Hollywood women that drives us so crazy and why some men will so do their best to attach themselves to a successful woman.
Sure, there’s the obvious answer: Famous women are hot. In fact, one might argue that their hotness is precisely the reason they’re famous. Being attractive seems like a prerequisite for a woman to break into the music, movie or modeling industries.
Here, however, I’d like to advance a contrarian point. I’d submit that celebrities aren’t famous because they’re hot; rather, they’re hot because they’re famous. Preposterous? Maybe. Let’s examine why fame makes women more desirable.
Beauty or Rarity?
You’d give your right eye for a night with Christina Hendricks or Halle Berry. But isn’t their beauty magnified by how unattainable they are?. When it comes to Halle Berry… even at 45 … she can melt men like its 110 degree Texas Heat!!!!
Think about that unrequited love you suffered through in college. Remember the pain and heartache you endured when you couldn’t have the object of your desire? Doesn’t it stand to reason that our wish for beautiful celebrities is partly because we know we’ll never have them?
Consider too we are also motivated by competition. It’s in our genes. Competition is what drives us as a species. We want what others have, and we want what others tell us we can’t have — yet another reason fame makes women more desirable.
Surely part of the reason famous women are so attractive is that they’re desired by so many other men. We want Angie Jolie because everyone else wants her too.
Actresses and models are also expert chameleons. That’s their job. They wouldn’t be where they are if they weren’t able to be variously sultry, shy, aggressive, innocent, quirky, and adorable. Is this another reason fame makes women more desirable?
Men do like variety. We like the idea of swapping the pixie for the bombshell, trading in the vamp for the girl next door. Well, an actress can be all of those things at once. Someone like Mila Kunis is simultaneously, the bitchy-but-hot girl from That 70’s Show and the sultry bisexual ballerina from Black Swan. In other words, we’re turned on by the prospect of variety, and women who work in the performing arts are necessarily variable. Part of what we love about famous women, then, is that they simultaneously represent so many of our fantasies.
And while we’re on the subject, let’s ponder fantasies for a second. The fact is, most male sexual fantasies are pretty traditional. The vast majority of us respond to a very limited number of sexual archetypes: the good girl, the bad girl, the older woman, and so on. When it comes to want, we’re not actually that creative. Advertisers, writers, producers, and other creative professionals know this about men, and they exploit it.
Celebrity women are presented to us in a way that will tap into these deep-seated sexual fantasies. Katy Perry, for instance, comes packaged as the classic beach bunny. Britney Spears first grabbed our attention as a naughty schoolgirl. Christina Hendricks entered the popular consciousness as a sexy secretary. Part of what makes these women so desirable, then, is not just that they’re physically attractive, but that the roles they play and the costumes they put on are designed specifically to channel those sexual archetypes.
Famous women can do this in a way that regular women can’t. The women you actually encounter during the course of a day are too three-dimensional and too complicated to be reduced to an archetype. That makes it harder for us to assimilate them into our conventional fantasy scripts.
We desire fame ourselves. Now we get to the meat
Of course, another reason famous women are so desirable is that fame itself is attractive. Men fantasize about status and prestige all the time. We want to be respected, liked and admired. Is it possible that a famous woman is merely a physical embodiment (albeit a very sexy physical embodiment) of the status and prestige we strive for or fantasize about in our everyday lives? Maybe these women are somehow stand-ins for the status we desire. Maybe its fame, not Halle Berry, that we secretly lust after.
Deeper than beauty
I recognize that every woman is objectively very beautiful. So the fact that we’re attracted to them isn’t a mystery. All I am suggesting is that our desires might be more complex than they initially seem. Maybe it’s not just the physical form of these women that draws our attention — maybe it’s something they represent.
Some men go a little deeper down the river.
Ever since reading this story last year about women using men for their sperm. Women coming to the end of their most fertile years are left with no other choice but to get knocked up “accidentally on purpose” by men they barely know. They pull the goalie at the last second. He shoots, she scores (a kid). I’ve been pondering the possibility of the male equivalent.
Why, and more important, how could a guy even the playing field? We aren’t in it for the sperm, and we certainly aren’t going to go getting every woman in the world pregnant (on purpose). What’s a guy’s angle? Then it hit me like a timely Gervais punchline at the Golden Globe awards. A Baby Raider. A man who gets a woman pregnant or to marry just to prolong a relationship
Not just another gold digger is he!!!
People might refer to this idea as gold digging, but that isn’t entirely correct, because gold digging implies the Raider is only doing it for the money. In reality, a Raider is doing it for several reasons besides monetary: status, genetics staking, claim on a famous woman to extend a dying or non-existent career and even for bragging rights. Sure, money is a good enough reason, but it’s also not half bad to have a kid with a hot and famous woman who can never cut ties completely because you share a spawn and she needs you to take him this weekend because she is attending this thing known as Cannes.
Now when I was enthralled and visioned this life long ago this was the sort of woman who in the past had stirred my insecurity. It was like a kid finding Batman’s belt in the lost and found. You have someone who is willing to pay for everything and lavish a life style on you that you couldn’t achieve on your own. I see pictures of Al Pacino looking like the Crypt Keeper dating a woman 40 yrs younger. Don’t get me wrong. There are woman who will get pregnant on purpose just as quickly as a man will offer his services to be a full-time dad to a successful woman. No point in giving it back until you’ve tried all your new powers. But you forgot to ask, will they be able to stop once they’ve tasted these powers?
Superficially, in Hollywood, for a lot ,the new bar for women was set based on the physical: some sort of exterior beauty, along with fame, sophistication, wild-child possibility, flirtation with the dark side. If you are able to find an emotionally vulnerable star then all the better…..you can be rescuer.
As you climb the ladder, your social confidence explodes. You receive the sort of attention you never did when you were younger. It is addictive, and when you are in it, there seems to be no end in sight. The attention increases tenfold when you are dating a Hollywood Star. You become a star also.
But that life isn’t rooted in good practices; it’s more like, “flash your badge and they will come.” Your confidence is based on a pack mentality, strong in numbers. You can push aside the inconvenience of having to start a conversation — just by being in the V.I.P. section , the conversation is started for you. If you have a well-connected friend or an entourage to find you a companion, you might not need conversation at all. But you are not the “Star” she is, Your existence is based on her. However your ego can’t tell the difference. Google Gabriel Aubry or Kevin Federline for examples.
The above dynamic grows exponentially, and before you can blink, your bad relationship habits are written and you become everything you complain about. It is amazing how easy it is, if you are not careful and grounded, to start seeing women/men and what others have accomplished as another accessory in your life. Its easy to see why men or women whose whole persona is based on the others accomplishment can’t look past it and not see the reflection in the mirror that caused the problem.
Reducing a relationship to time, money and X is usually a bad way to start. Relationships can get crafted around their whims. The spiritual significance of an enduring commitment falls by the wayside, giving way to limits and rules defined by the ego.
Although it doesn’t have to be this way, relationships can become part of the world of ego and illusions. No one is right for you, or good enough. Everyone is disposable. Witness the marrying up …dating down, adventures of Tiger Woods, Arnold and now Rep Wiener. You feel superior.
The thought now is if I were a up-and-coming actor, you would try to hook up only with A-List female celebrities. It’s like buying $50 million of free advertising. Kris Humphries is a genius. Oh, wait, he’s not an actor. Scratch that.
These men or women deserve some type of award. How about “Best-Supported Actor of a Star on the Rise”? Fine. MVBR — Most Valuable BABY Raider.
But what I would tell a friend to consider if she/he wasn’t who she was, would he/she be there still.? What I would tell her to consider was that if she wasn’t a star and all of a sudden the money wasn’t there would he be able to take care of you and more importantly your baby ?.
Everyone wants to ride in the Limo when the times are good. What you want is the one who will hop on the bus with you and drive when the limo breaks down