What your email address says about you

@aol.com
I fear change the way an actor fears an M. Night Shyamalan script. Which is why I haven’t given up my 1993 Volvo 240DL, my Timberland boots or my Sony Walkman, either. Also, I like seeing when a person reads my email so I can get pissed that they haven’t returned it yet.

@yahoo.com
I’m like the British circa 1960: still insisting I rule an empire but, below the surface, realizing my life has long since peaked.

@hotmail.com
I’m a drifter. My primary computer is in the public library. And my primary phone is in a booth.

@harvard.edu
In case you didn’t already know, I’m very very smart. And yes, I’m smart enough to know that there should be a comma between those two verys. I just didn’t think you were.

@earthlink.com
I believe the media’s too tough on Travolta, Cruise and L. Ron.

@roadrunner.com
I’d rather be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish with a cool email address.

@sbcglobal.net
I crave convenience and bundling. If I could get my utility, car insurance and Poland Spring bills in one statement, I’d sign up for that, too.

@gmail.com
Now that you no longer have to be invited to Gmail—like I was—and FYI, I was invited by someone extremely important—anyone can just waltz in here and feel special. But, truth be told, they’ll never be as special as me.

@mac.com
I’m on the cutting edge of technology. I mock people who still have the iPad 1 or the iPhone 3GS. And I’m more worried about Steve Jobs’ health than my own.

@yourname.com
I’m so worth celebrating, I’ve got a closet full of monogrammed shirts, pillowcases and belt buckles, too. Oh, and I have a bad memory.

@facebook.com
I relish not having to log off to check email in between reading my cousin’s co-worker’s nephew’s status updates and seeing if the girl down the hall accepted my friendship because this is only the third time I’ve asked her.

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3 responses to “What your email address says about you

  1. Hahahahaha! I resemble some of those remarks! Or, at least I want to, or hoped to at one time but don’t anymore! 😀 Fun.

    Truthfully, I will never read another earthlink email the same way again!

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