A call center parody…..Sung to ” I will Survive”

First when I was hired, I was petrified
Kept on thinking I’d keep being monitored side by side
And then I spent so many days learning the call center ways
And I’m still here…
…just trying to adhere

And now my stats
Are just the best
I’ve learned to listen and let callers get their problems off their chest
I never rush them through a call
They always hang up with a smile
I then head to the bathroom stall…
…And I just cry there for a while

Oh yes I know, I must adhere
Even when I want to slash the computer with a stupid spear
I understand you need to have me in my seat at certain times
But you’re killing me…
…just cover both my eyes with dimes

Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to read
I’ll skim the classifieds
There’s so much more to me
Than this center’s ACD
I will survive
I will survive

“HEY! HEY!”

Sometimes I fear won’t make it far
That I’ll just get stuck just like that call inside the IVR
But then I start to see the light, and wipe away my frown
Cause I remember
On Friday I’ll dress down

And now I’m glad, the slate is clean
I just can’t wait ’til this Friday when I get to wear my jeans
It doesn’t matter if my wrists need a surgery or three
I will not let…
…carpal tunnel get to me!

Oh, now I know, I’m here to stay
I will wear this stinkin’ headset on my head until I’m gray
I’ll keep speaking with a smile to everybody on the phone
And I’ll keep praying…
…one day I’ll work from home
Stressed out am I
But I’ll survive
As long as there is Xanax I will hit my goals in stride
There is nothing I can’t do with an advil or two

I will survive…
…I will SURVIVE… yeah yeah!!

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2 responses to “A call center parody…..Sung to ” I will Survive”

  1. Oh yes I know, I must adhere
    Even when I want to slash the computer with a stupid spear
    I understand you need to have me in my seat at certain times
    But you’re killing me…

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